EPISODE 8
715 Words
ANASTASIA FERRARI
I once believed that I was past these feelings, but I was wrong. The only difference from these feelings now is that, I am married to these feelings and they are worse because I live with them every day.
Maurizio, my husband. Him and I have been through worse, but never ever did he use my kids against me. He never slept out when things got heated between us and now that he did, it hurts so much. I get that he is angry with me and it hurts worse because he can't even look at me the same way anymore.
"Mommy?" Beverly calls me from the door, walking into the room. I was lying on the bed with my back against the door.
I quickly wiped my hot tears and wore my best smile before I turned to face Beverly.
"Hey, sweetie, are you hungry? We can order fast food and watch something on Netflix," I said. She nodded, getting into bed with me.
"Mommy, I am sorry," She sadly apologises. "I heard you and daddy fighting and it's my fault, I am sorry,"
"Beverly, are you not such a sweet child? Come here," I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head. "But, it can never be your fault whenever daddy and I are having a little misunderstanding and I don't ever want to hear you say that. I was just worried that you were fighting at school and I panicked, but now that you are okay, I am okay too. I am not saying what you did is right, but I understand why you did it, but honey, please don't ever do that again because you might not get this lucky."
"Okay, mommy, it's just that they called you with names and constantly reminded me how I am not Italian, how daddy is not my biological daddy and the picture that... mommy, why were you kissing another man? I saw it and it's not nice! It wasn't daddy that you were kissing, I don't want another daddy I am happy with the one I have,"
Hearing my daughter saying all that really hurt me. I didn't mean to hurt my family when they expected the most of me.
"I am sorry, baby. Forget about all of that, it will never happen again. Mommy is sorry about everything; I am not proud of what I did and I am not getting you another dad. I am also fine with the one that we have,"
"Okay,"
"Okay. Now, get mommy and daddy's tablet on the couch and let's order some fast food and pick something on Netflix,"
***
I was woken up early at 4:30 PM by my angry alarm and I tirelessly stretched my arm to the pedestal to turn it off.
Beverly is peacefully sleeping next to me, so I got off the bed slowly so that I wouldn't wake her up. I cringed to the pain that I was hiding from Beverly all night and I took steady breaths and ambled to the bathroom. thirty-five minutes later, I was coming out, clean and fresh from a relaxing bath. I wore a bathrobe and made my way back to the bedroom and called out Beverly to wake up. She moaned, slightly moving.
I let the curtains open, using the tablet and then pulled the sheet off her.
"Hills, come on now, wake up or you'll be late for school,"
"I don't want to go to school," She whined.
"Tough luck because you are not going to ditch school under my watch,"
"I feel sick," She holds her stomach.
"Nice try, signora." I laughed.
"Non sei una bella mamma come le altre mamme," (You are not a cool mom like other mom's.) She made a face.
"Anch'io ti amo!" (I love you too!)
***
As I was dishing out breakfast for Beverly and I, Maurizio-my prodigal husband came back home, looking the same way he left me last night.
"Buongiorno, Famiglia," (Good morning, family,) He said, indifferently as he passed us to the stairways.
"Buongiorno," (Good morning,) Beverly and I said in unison.
"I'll be right back," I got up, following my husband behind until we got in our room and I closed the door behind.
- Writer
