Billionaire Happy After

Re Do

For some reason I couldn't help thinking of the bitter half smile Christian always gave me when I was surprised when he did nice things.

"Just so you know," I started, even though I was almost certain he was asleep, "the file thing, I wasn't trying to use you. I mean- I guess I was- but that wasn't," I stopped blabbering, unsure of where I was going with talking to Jacen while he was sleeping.

Then he sighed, making me startle. I hadn't actually thought he was awake. He stretched his arms out then folded them behind his head. "How did I know you would do this," he muttered.

"What?" I asked. I hadn't even planned to talk to him- what?

"Pillow talk," he replied. "You wanna start braiding each other's hair next or something?"

"Hey!" I exclaimed. "I was just trying to apologize. You don't have to be such an asshole."

I felt him shrug beside me. "Can't help my natural personality."

Well I hadn't been expecting him to admit it. I pouted and, mature person I was, rolled around so my back was to him.

"Nice, Benjamin , mature," he said, calling me out on it, "You were the one who started the conversation."

"Well, I don't want to talk to you anymore!"

Wow I sound like a five year old throwing a tempter tantrum.

He was silent for such a long moment that I thought he had fallen asleep again. Or, I guess, I mean for real this time. Just as I was about to drift off, he spoke, "The file thing, yeah, I know."

I rolled back around to face him. "What?"

"I know you weren't trying to," Christian hesitated. "Never mind."

"What- You- Don't- Don't just start something then not finish," I said, even though that was probably something I did all the time.

But it pissed me off when other people did it.

Yeah, I'm a hypocrite.

Sue me.

He sighed. "I know you weren't trying to use me."

"Oh, uh, good." I gulped, feeling like I needed to say something else, but like before, the words wouldn't come to me. I wasn't generally an awkward person, but the silence between us built, making me feel jittery and tense.

"I'm just paranoid," he said.

"I don't really think you're a bad person," I blurted out at the same time. I recovered before him. "Why?"

"It's a long story." He shook his head. "Well, I'm glad you don't really think I'm horrible."

"I-" Did I tell him about Lucas and how alike they were? "You just remind me of someone I used to know."

"I know you're not him," I added when he didn't reply. "I'm trying to get over it, it's just not really working. And... I just don't... Know if I can manage being friends with you or anything like that."

"You remind me of someone I knew too," he said.

"I'm guessing you don't like them?" I asked.

"This girl I liked who tried to make me kill someone," he replied, and even though he tried to make it sound like a joke, I could hear the slight bitter tone beneath his words.

I laughed. "You remind me of an ex-boyfriend who tried to burn down my house. With me in it."

"Wouldn't they make an amazing pair?" he asked, joining me with a chuckle.

I made a sound of agreement, but stayed silent. How ironic was it that we both reminded each other of people we hated from our past.

"I think we need a do-over," he said.

"What?"

"Hi, I'm Christian Harvey ," he introduced, hitting me in the face with his hand when he pulled his arm out from under his head.

"Ow," I muttered. "Hey, how come you can say we need to do a start over, but I can't?"

"Hi, I'm Christian Harvey ," he repeated, ignoring my question.

"Hi, I'm Georgia Benjamin ," I muttered unenthusiastically, blindly searching for his hand and settling for a weak high five rather than a handshake.

"I don't feel any different," I said after a moment of silence.

"Well, now I know why you change moods so fast,"Christian said. "Since I remind you of an ex."

"And I know you think I'm using you because I remind you of someone who did?" I asked hesitantly.

"So we agree, we're probably not good for each other," he finished.

I blinked, his words reminding me of the entry I had written today for Damon's journal about Lucas assignment.

Shirley always told me to never get involved with a guy who admitted they were bad for you.

She said that dating a guy who called himself trouble was asking for it, whether he really was messed up, or thought he was some kind of dark, damaged soul. Since Shirley had much more experience when it came to dating than me, I had believed her. It seemed like common sense anyway.

Why date someone who told you they were a bad influence?

Of course, it was Lucas who made me realize why she had felt the need to warn me on something that seemed so blatantly obvious.

There was something about, I guess for lack of better term, the brooding bad boy, that made you want to fix them. To be special enough that they changed and were good, just for you.

At least, that was how it seemed with him.

He never had the best reputation.

Everyone said he was bad for me, even Lucas himself.

"I'm not good for you, Gigi," were his exact words. "I'm too messed up for your light."

It was cheesy, straight out of fiction. I could see that now, looking back on it. But at the time, it had seemed sweet. Like, he cared about me so much that he was willing to risk driving me away to warn me about himself. It had seemed, sounded like he really loved me.

But that isn't how love is supposed to work.

If you think you're ruining someone you love, you stay away from them, right?

He had also said that other typical, cliche line. The "I'm not strong enough to leave you", that had my heart stuttering and my mind melting. It was flattering, the idea that I was so wanted, that I was so irresistible to Nik.

He knew every single way to play me.

Thinking of it now, there's no way you can really win. If he truly believes he's bad for you, then he'll keep away from you. And if he doesn't, then... Maybe he doesn't love you as much as he says he does. Or he's okay with damaging things he loves.

I don't know why it matters now, though.

I had been too late in learning the lesson Shirley had tried to teach me-

That when a guy tells you they aren't good for you, you listen.

And you get away from them.

As far as possible.

"You have to admit though,"Christian said, pulling me from my thoughts. "We have awesome sex."

"Wha-" I sputtered, choking on a laugh. How did we get from- How did he get on the topic of s*x? "I- No."

He turned on his side, leaning on his elbow as he glanced down at me. "I don't think you can deny it."

"Please," I said, burying my face under the covers. I was thankful for the dark otherwise my cheeks would probably rival fire engines in colour. "Can we not talk about this?"

"I have an idea," he started, and I could practically hear the smile in his voice.

"No," I interrupted.

He ignored me. "You know good s*x is a stress reliever."

"No," I repeated weakly, knowing where he was going with this. I slid further into my safe blanket burrito.

"And since we agreed there's gonna be nothing romantic," he continued.

"No," I whimpered, sounding even more pathetic now, as I slipped the sheets over my head. I couldn't see him anyway, since it was dark, but somehow that felt like an extra layer of protection from what he was saying.

"I think we should be f**k buddies,"He finished.

"That's a bad idea," I said, my voice muffled my the covers. "Did you plan this entire thing to lead to this?"

"No, it came to me when you blanked out a couple minutes ago," he replied. "I think it's a good idea."

"I don't!" I exclaimed. "We haven't even decided if we like each other!"

"Exactly. No risk of unwanted feelings. It's not a bad idea," he insisted, tugging the cover from above my head.

I squinted at his dark form leaning over me. "There's nothing you can do to convince me this isn't a bad idea."

"Really?" he chuckled. "I can be persuasive."

Let me tell you something-

Never let Christian Harvey try to persuade you on something you .