A Letter From Heaven

Veronica's POV “Mom, may sasabihin po ako sa’yo!” masayang bungad ko nang pumasok ako sa kwarto ng aking mama. Hindi niya man lang ako sinulyapan, bagkus nanatiling nasa laptop ang kanyang atensyon. Bumuntong-hininga ako ngunit ibinalik kong muli ang ngiti sa aking labi. Lumapit muli ako sa kanya upang makuha ang atensyon niya at hindi nga ako nabigo dahil bigla kang napatingin sa aking gawi. “Nandito ka pala, Iha. Are you up to something?” wika niya habang ako’y mataman niyang tinignan. Sinubukan kong buhayin muli ang loob ko at agad na ipinakita ang papel na hawak ko. No no, it’s not just a paper, it’s my card. Kita ko ang pagkunot ng kanyang noo saka kinuha ang card na eksayted kong inabot sa’yo. “Ano ito?” walang interes na tanong niya. Hindi ako sumagot dahil hinayaan ko siyang tuluyang buksan ang envelope na naglalaman ng grado ko. Kabado man, ngunit hindi ko pa rin inalis ang ngiti na nakalinya sa aking labi. Hindi man lang nagbago ang emosyon ng kanyang mukha nang mabasa niya ang laman ng card ko. Aren’t you happy, ma? Did I disappoint you again? “Who’s the rank one?” pambabalewala niya sa card ko at muling itinutok ang atensyon sa laptop na kaharap niya. “Not me. But—“ “Okay, so you may leave my room now.” “But… But, I’m on rank two, Ma. Aren’t you happy?” my voice shakes. Please no, don’t cry infront of her. She sighed and faced me again with her disappointing look. I did my best, ma. I just can’t be on the Rank 1. “Why would I? You’re always on the rank two, Veronica! Buti pa yung ate mo she’s really good in academics...activities! She’s always been the first among all. Pero ikaw? You’re always on the second! Are you really studying well, huh? Hanggang kailan mo ba kami i-di-disappoint ng dad mo?!” Napapikit ako sa kanyang pagsigaw. Hindi ko na kaya. This is too much, ma. I’m tired. I clenched my fist and still closed my eyes. Nang nararamdaman kong tapos na siya sa kanyang mga sinasabi’y dumilat na ako. I can see anger, disappointment in her eyes. And I hate it. I hate myself for disappointing her. I hate myself for not doing my best. That my best wasn’t good enough for all of them. “I’m sorry…” I uttered. I can really feel my voice shaking. “I’m so sorry because I can’t be like Ate. Si Ate na valedictorian, si Ate na laging representative ng school nila. Si Ate na running for Summa c*m Laude. Si Ate na paborito niyo ni Dad. Si Ate na always excellent in terms of academics. I’m sorry if I can’t be her. Is there something I can do to make you happy?” I hopefully said. I hope I can still do something to make them happy. “I want you gone. So please step out of my room. I don’t want to see your face anymore. Get out!” she shouted. I walk towards the door but before I could finally open it, I stop. “If this is what makes you and dad happy, then I’ll do it,” I said hoping that she heard me but as soon as I open the door ay saka naman ang pagpasok ni Ate na pareho naming ikinagulat ni Mama. “So this is how you treat my lil’ sister while I am not at home?” she asked calmly.