My Husband's Mate Is My Sister

Chapter 5

~LUCAS~

It was our wedding night. A night that I have dreaded for a long time. A night that I have wished I would never have to experience.

Freya was dressed by her maids and placed in the room for me. I did not want to look at her. I couldn't desire her, not when her sister still held my heart in her hands.

Torture. It was just one simple word, but it describes what I felt perfectly. I couldn't even begin to entertain the thought of being close to Freya.

I froze when I was told to kiss her at the end of the ceremony. I was not able to lean forward and kiss her. I hate that I was that weak. I hate that I embarrassed her in front of her family and friends. However, I didn't know what else to do. This marriage was not a love marriage, and it was even harder knowing that my mate was watching us. I couldn't kiss her while Avery could see everything. I didn't want to hurt either woman, yet I knew that the two of them were experiencing pain because of my actions. When I agreed to marry Freya, it was to protect my family, but not once did I realize that I would be hurting innocent women in the process.

I would never be able to forgive myself for this. I'd made a decision that has ruined the lives of not just one person but three.

The dim lights in the room were supposed to set the mood for us to consummate our marriage, but there was no way in hell that I could make that happen tonight when I couldn't even bring myself to kiss her.

Gideon didn't have to know the truth. I knew that Freya was a virgin, just like her sister was. Gideon made sure to keep it that way for their future husbands. I was sure that the maids would check for blood in the morning.

I already had a plan; I just had to ensure Freya was willing to lie to her father. Freya and her siblings were brought up to obey Gideon and never lie to him. However, under these circumstances, I believed that Freya might be willing to listen to what I had to say. She was also sent to this marriage against her wishes. Hopefully, she felt some sort of resentment towards her father after what he forced her to do.

I glance at her for a few seconds.

Freya's nightgown shows more of her body than I was comfortable with. This wasn't a marriage where I wanted to make love to her. It was a marriage where I wanted to lock myself in a damn room and forget it ever happened.

Fuck Lucas.

You promised to try, at least. She deserves a husband that would at least try to make her happy.

She looks uncomfortable under my gaze, and I mutter a silent curse. I forgot how hard this was for her; it wasn't only difficult for me. She must be afraid that I would try to touch her tonight.

"You don't have to hide yourself," I whisper to her gently. "I will not ask to sleep with you. I will not take your innocence, Freya. You can sleep peacefully, knowing that I will never intentionally touch you."

She flinches at my words, and I'm not sure if I've just said something wrong to her. I was only trying to assure her that I would never force her to do something she didn't want to do. I was raised better than that.

"Did I say something wrong?" I ask, making sure not to walk closer to her. I was keeping as much distance between us as possible; I didn't want to startle her in any way.

She continued to brush her hair in a way that captivated me for a few seconds. I hadn't even realized I'd just been standing there watching her until I saw myself in the mirror—a wave of shock washed throughout me.

I must be losing my mind just to stand here and watch Freya brush her hair while waiting for a response from her.

I quickly look away from her so as not to scare her further.

"No," she whispers. "You did not say anything wrong, husband."

I freeze. It felt weird to hear her call me that.

"Please, just call me Lucas," I tell her gently.

She nods, and I find myself drawn to her hair once more. She turns and catches me staring.

"What's wrong?" she asks, reaching for her robe.

I shrug, "Nothing." I lie. "Your maids will expect to see blood in your sheets. I have a plan to make them believe that we consummated this marriage."

She nods, "I knew that you would have one after you failed to kiss me earlier today."

I freeze, not sure how to respond to her words.

"Do not worry." She adds. "It was for the best."

I nod and attempt to say something to lighten the mood. Usually, it was quite easy for me to devise a joke to make everyone smile. However, with Freya, it wasn't that simple. I didn't know what I could say to fix this.

"I think you would prefer not to sleep in the same bed with me." She continues. "If you want, I can sleep on the sofa."

My eyes widen, "of course not." I stop her. "This is your bed; I will sleep on the sofa instead."

She nods without any emotion as she prepares herself to sleep.

Fuck.

I could tell how unhappy she was right now.

Damn it, Lucas. You're not doing a very good job at making her happy.