The Fated Moon Mate

let her go

COAL'S POV

The days passed slowly, painfully. Time felt heavy, an unbearable burden on my soul and body, suffocating the very life out of my bones. I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to bear it.

Sitting at the large desk in my office, I stared blindly at the fireplace across the room, nestled in between floor-to-ceiling bookcases. Winter was coming. Soon, flames would fill the fireplace, flickering in a complex dance, releasing heat into the atmosphere.

But nothing would warm me.

Not anymore.

I suspected the cold pit in my stomach, and I would remain good friends for eternity. I leaned back, my hands clenching the armrests of the executive chair. The leather chair creaked in resistance.

Recent events ricocheted in my head like a pinball machine on crack.

Immediately following the shocking revelation that Brinley was my mate, I’d insisted she not clean my room anymore. I’d used some ridiculous excuse that I didn’t want her around my things. When in reality, I couldn’t care less if she touched everything I owned.

The problem was her delectable scent...

...sweet lilac with a splash of moonlight.

It would be my undoing. It drove my Wolf, and I damn near crazy. Just one sniff and my mouth watered and my jaw ached to release my canines into her.

I shuddered and shook my head, trying to clear it.

The same chant, I’d been telling myself for the last two weeks, played on repeat in my head. I just needed some time away from her. And then I would be okay.

The sickly sweet ache in my chest would go away. Yes, I was drowning in the worst depths of hell right now, but with just a little bit of time, I could get back under control.

I had to if I wanted to survive.

I pulled in an unsteady breath.

My father had resisted my request, the pretense of annoyance in his tone and body language, reminding me it was her job to clean the packhouse.

But I didn’t miss the cruel glint in his eye. No doubt, he wanted to torment her in some form or fashion, but there was no way in hell I was going to let him use me for that. In the end, I got my way, and Brinley no longer cleaned my suite.

A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts. Without waiting for my response, Calla let herself in.

I frowned.

She crossed the room and planted herself in my lap, the hem of her navy blue dress riding up her thighs. She wrapped her arms around my neck. Examining my sour expression, she cooed, “I’m sorry, baby. I can’t believe the Moon thought she would be a good choice for you.”

Her voice was sickeningly sweet. It turned my stomach. Funny, I didn’t remember her voice sounding like that before. But now, it grated my last nerve.

My wolf let out a growl. He didn’t appreciate her comment and envisioned snapping her head from her shoulders with his powerful jaws. I pushed him back under control.

“I don’t want to discuss it. It doesn’t matter. It’s not going to happen,” I bit out through clenched teeth.

I needed to get my s**t together.

If I was going to move on with Calla, I needed to find some way to make it work. It was the last conversation I wanted to have, but I couldn’t avoid it.

I stood with her in my arms, released her to her feet, and walked over to the couch in the seating area across the room. She followed silently and sat down beside me.

Her chocolate brown eyes stared up at me. She gave my bicep an encouraging squeeze. It was clear, from her expression of pity, she thought I was distressed about having Brinley as a mate. She assumed I hated the idea because that’s what I wanted everyone to believe.

But she could not have been more wrong.

I wanted Brinley...

With every fiber and breath in me.

...but I couldn’t have her.

She was never an option for me because my love was her death sentence. My Wolf whimpered. He didn’t like that we were the cause of our mate’s pain and danger. But our suffering didn’t matter. We could die a thousand deaths, for all I cared. There was just one thing that mattered. One thing I would never allow to happen.

Brinley would not die for me.

Still, letting her go was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do. Maybe even impossible. Sleep had been shockingly elusive. I spent hours lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, my chaotic mind churning over and over, trying to find a solution.

I’d even considered just taking her and running, getting as far away from this nightmare as possible. If my choice was her or my title, I didn’t give a s**t about being Alpha. It was easy. I’d choose her.

But it wasn’t that easy.

If I ran with her, there was no doubt in my mind my father would cut her invisible tie to the pack, turning her rogue.

It was a simple solution for him. Just like that, he could invoke the most unimaginable and cruel punishment on both of us- because once Brinley was a rogue, I would kill her.

I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.

No Wolf could. Regardless of love or family, our compulsion to kill a rogue Wolf was impossible to deny.

And if by some miracle, she escaped me, she would be on the hit list of every Wolf that crossed her path. Her life here was poor, but her options outside of the pack were nonexistent.

No. Brinley wasn’t mine to keep. And it killed me to see the features on her beautiful face pulled tight with pain, sorrow caused by my rejection. A hundred times, I almost gave in and ran to her to confess my love, not so I could keep her, but so that she would know the truth.

But that would be a selfish d**k move.

It would only mess with her mind, and make it that much harder for her to let go. I also wasn’t sure if I could trust her with the truth. I felt the fire in her veins. If she accidentally said or did something to reveal the truth, she would be the one to pay the ultimate price.

No. I had to keep silent.

Keeping her alive was my only priority.

The clutter in my head was an unending cycle of thoughts and arguments that only ever led back to one inevitable option-her death.

I had to do the right thing...

...I had to let her go.