The Gang Leader And His Library Girl

Chapter 7: Don't Ask Me Why

Jessica's POV: 

I sigh and flip over my worksheet that I have to study for my history test. I'd rather be eating lunch right now, considering it's Wednesday and I'm at stupid school, but I can't. My first punishment was to not eat for two days, which ended yesterday, but then Abby happened again. She brought up at the dinner table that I accused her of changing my answers, which was one hell of a show. She started fake crying, telling mom and dad that she couldn't take all the bullying that I do to her. Just from what she said, both of my parents got mad at me. I didn't even get a chance to defend myself. I was sent to my room right away, which I hoped would be the end of it, but when I was getting ready for bed that night, both my parents came into my room. It started with shouting from them, then went to name calling, then came the beating. It was bad, leaving me with bruises everywhere, but I've managed to cover most of them. Then they said that I got my food privileges taken away from me for three days this time, and even they called the school to make sure I wouldn't eat there. I luckily had a huge supper that night, so my stomach doesn't hurt from hunger as bad as it was before.

Kayla frowns from in front of me and pushes her tray towards me. "Just eat some of mine, Jess. They won't know."

I immediately shake my head, pushing it back. "I can't."

She pushes the tray again. "Please. I didn't do anything before, but they can't do this again. They've been cutting you off from food for too long."

I simply shrug, looking back down at my papers. Really, I should be thanking my parents. I mean, I know I shouldn't listen to my parents when they call me fat, especially everyone else from school, but they have to have a reason to call me that. It's obvious that I'm fat when I actually look at myself, so skipping a few meals should be in my best interest.

Kayla sighs, realizing that I'm not going to eat anything, and sits back in her chair. "At least take a break from studying. That class was last period and the test is tomorrow. You have time to study later."

I look up at her again, resting my head in my head while my elbow is propped up on the table. "I wish I could, but I have to write a paper in french, a book report to write, and even have to practice for the concert."

"But you sound amazing on the clarinet. You don't have to practice, and we both know that writing a paper in french isn't a big deal for you."

I frown and play with the bent corner of my paper. "Thanks, but my parents want double amazing, and the french paper has to be perfect. They think I'm cheating my way through that class, so I have to make sure that this one is good enough for them."

"But they never think you're good enough!" I looked up at her, and I could tell she wanted to take it back right away. "Jess, you know I-"

I shake my head. "It's fine." I sigh and run my hand over my face. "I haven't been good enough, ever, but I'm hoping that I'll be able to be sometime, you know?"

I open my eyes and see her sad ones. "I just wish you would report them."

"Where would I go?"

"My parents-"

I cut her off. "-can't afford to take care of another kid. Even if it's for only a little bit, we both know that they can't."

"I could talk to them! If they knew your situation, I'm sure that they would help."

I shake my head fast. "We don't know that. It's just a small chance that they would, and I don't want to take that chance." She opens her mouth to protest, but smiles and holds my hand up. "I'll be fine."

She stares at me for a few seconds, biting her lip, then sighs and starts eating the rest of her lunch. I look back down to my papers, reading over them and highlighting the important stuff. But my mind keeps going back to what I said to Kayla. How many times have I said that and actually meant it?

I start humming while setting up my laptop in the room in the library. I better start on my book report now, because even though that teacher is a tough one to get a good grade on, I'd rather put all my energy into that. Writing the french paper can come after it, then I'll have to go home to practice, then I have to study, then I have to take a shower, then I have to study some more before going to bed. Although, I guess I forgot one factor in that plan, and I remember it when I hear a knock on the shelf again.

"Hey Library Girl. Got anything good to share?"

I smile and walk over to the shelf. I move aside one of the books and look through the hole at Ashton on the other side. "What kind of stuff would I have to share?"

He shrugs. "I don't know, you got to have something going on in life. I need something to stick my nose into."

I laugh. "Other than homework, I have nothing going on in my life." I partially lie to him. The weird thing is, when I do, I feel like I shouldn't be. There's a small tug in me that says I'm being stupid for not telling him everything, but I just push it away.

"Geez, everything around here is boring." He smirks and crosses his arms over his chest. "Maybe we should spice things up?"

I raise any eyebrow at him, but a small smile is playing on my lips. "And what would you have in mind?"

He raises his finger, like he was waiting for something. "AAAHHH!" Or someone. He starts laughing while my eyes widen. That was Iris' voice.

"What was that?" I ask frantically.

He laughs and shakes his, but I can hear Iris screaming for help deeper in the library. "She's scared of snakes." He laughs again and I can hear her running around. "And I have my connections to some snakes."

My anger starts to boil up inside of me. "What's wrong with you? She's just an old lady trying to run a library, and you're scaring her with snakes that she's deathly afraid of."

He looks at the shelf with his eyebrows raised. "Chill, okay? The snake isn't poisonous or anything." He rolls his eyes. I hear Iris thanking some dude while I'm assuming he carries it outside. "It's not even that big. The old bat is just a scardy cat."

"What if she was on the step stool when she saw it and fell off? She can't just pick herself up anymore."

He stares at the bookshelf, a bored expression on his face, then smirks. "She's perfectly fine. Now," He pulls out a cigarette pack from his front pocket. He flips it open and pulls one out and puts it between his lips while slipping the pack back inside his pocket. When he puts the pack back in his pocket, he pulls out a silver lighter and lights the end of the death stick, covering the flame with his other hand. When it's finally lit up, he puts the lighter away and takes a draw of the cigarette, blowing the smoke in the area that I'm in. "I need this."

I cough, waving away the smoke that made its way in here before looking at him again. "Those aren't good for you."

He looks at the cigarette, rolling it between his finger and thumb, then shrugs. "A lot of things in life aren't good for you, and yet, we still take part in them."

"Either way," I point at the shelf behind him, even though he obviously doesn't know I am. "That sign says no smoking. It even has a picture on it that makes it pretty clear they don't want you smoking in here."

He glances over his shoulder, barely looking at the sign before looking back at the bookshelf. "I've suddenly turned blind."

"What?"

He smiles, taking another drag of his cigarette. "I said, I've suddenly turned blind, meaning I have no idea that sign is there." He finishes with a smirk.

I look at him, then start laughing. "You're not as bad as you look."

He raises an eyebrow at me. "What's that supposed to mean?"

I laugh again, shrugging my shoulders. "You looked really out of place when I first saw you, and honestly, I was pretty scared when I first started talking to you."

"But you don't even know me yet. Aren't you still scared?"

I lean the side of my head on the bookshelf, still being able to see out the hole. "Normally, I would be, but I'm not anymore. You want to make everyone think you're someone to be scared of, but you really aren't. At least, with me you're not, and don't ask me why. I just have that feeling that I shouldn't be scared, so I'm not."

He slowly nods his head. After a few minutes of silence, he smiles. "You definitely are a different one, Library Girl."

"Sorry."

He shakes his head, sitting down in his normal spot. "Don't be, because, don't ask me why, but I can tell that you're a good kind of different."

I laugh lightly at him. I know we're going to be friends. Maybe not really close friends that hang out everyday, because I just don't trust him enough to show my face yet, but definitely friends. That's the up side to this. The down side is that I can feel myself wanting to be more than friends with him, and I know that it's stupid to only know him this long and already be feeling this, but I still do. There's nothing I can do about it, but I wish there was. I wish I wasn't already starting to fall for someone that will run the second they see me or hear about what happens at school and home. I just wish I wasn't.