American Gan

Chapter 7

This year it was different. Food trucks, a photo booth and attendees in costume were added to this year's Lupus L.A. Orange Ball. Normally it was a formal occasion. You know, suit and tie s**t. The Fox Studio lot was transformed into to a New York Street to match its "A Night of Superheroes" theme. Toni Braxton who was one of the council members of the Foundation and someone who became a good friend to me as well informed us that the change had been in the works for some time. Actors, singers, directors. Everybody that has a connection with the event lined the red carpet. For somebody that spent a majority of her time in front of a camera, Jamila was reluctant to walk that red carpet with me. She held on tightly to my hand, staying close to me.

"I thought you said you were a drug dealer." She leaned in speaking into my ear. I continued looking forward at the cameras snapping photos. Finally taking a moment to look at her.

"Nice cover-up, huh." I smiled and winked at her then turned my head forward again.

"And we would like to present this years Loop Award to someone who has done wonders for this charity and event, someone who has yet to miss a single beat that involves Lupus LA, and Luck for Lupus, someone who I have grown to be very proud of, and I thank for all his hard work, Michael B. Jordan."

I stood up, slid my hands in my pocket and walked up the steps of the stage, I looked over at Jamila who was eyeing me, I mean her eyes were a mixture of confusion, anger... Yet she was still clapping for me receiving the award. I did my best to keep from laughing at her reaction.

"I think all our lives we've wanted to be a superhero, or we at least had that favorite superhero that could do no wrong. But I can definitely say there is no greater superhero than my mother. Lupus L.A. has given my mom incredible encouragement and has also provided her vital support and services, but what Lupus L.A. has done for me was finally give me an opportunity and a way to help my mom. I thought about the time doctors were telling me that my mom was having trouble walking and that they finally figured out what was going on with her. The diagnose her with a disease that does not have a cure yet. I can remember being upset because I couldn't help her, there was nothing I could do. But my mom, not her, she continued to laugh, sing, take care of everything she needed to take care of, she kept going and she still keeps going. And that is what a superhero is to me. Thank you Toni and LA Lupus for everything that you've done and everything that you all continue to do."

You ever see someone mentally kicking themselves in the ass or mentally apologizing for giving you a hard time. That was Jamila. I never heard someone apologizes so much. Charity wasn't necessarily just a cover-up it was something I was very much involved in, it was something I took very seriously. And sure it was drug money, but it was also money from men that had the power and the ability to give to these charities but wouldn't think twice to do so. I mean, these men spent campaign money on everything BUT the campaign. I'm talking out of the country family trips, golfing lessons, restaurants that charged you 300 dollars a plate, and I couldn't even tell you what the Wall Street men were putting their money in, changing stock numbers to their benefits. It was dirty, a dog eat dog world. And money just happened to be the one thing that never slept.

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"Damn, maybe you are a drug dealer." I watched her look around my LA home. "Or maybe you're just taking money from all these charities."

"That would just make me sick." She turned around looking at me, very stale facial expressions.

"And selling cocaine to politicians and business men doesn't?"

I looked at her very calmly and frowned a bit thinking about her words. "Nope"

"So are you really going to tell me what you do? Or are you going to keep this drug dealer with a heart thing up forever!?"

"You're really not going to let this go huh?" She shook her head no at me. I extended my hand for her to take it. "Follow me." Leading her to a flight of steps and took two steps down. "Sit down." I said looking up at her.

"This isn't the part where you kill me is it? That whole if I tell you I'll have to kill you thing!?" I couldn't help but laugh, the fact that her face was so serious when she asked it only made it better. "You watch too many movies. Sit down." She slowly sat down on the top step in front of me, I kneeled down and took her left foot into my hands and unbuckled the clasp of her high heel and pulled them off, and did the same with her right foot. I could feel her frowning at me the whole time. I stood up and extended my hand for her to take it again and carefully walked her down the steep steps that led to my basement. "I didn't what you to fall or your heels to get stuck in the holes.

I watched her eyes light up, but she kept a genuine face, not smiling too big and not frowning. "Thank you." I'm sure I had her at my fingertips at that point if I did anything else charming I'd have her in the palm of my hand.

She tiptoed across the tile floor, with her hand in my hand, looking around. I led her to a black door, opened it, led her down the brick hall to another black door. That had a large silver security box on the silver handle. I pressed my thumb on the screen until it lit green and pulled the door open, and flipping on the light "After you."

Reality had finally set in for her, watching her walk around a room full of money, cocaine, and a wall of guns made her no longer second guess me. I leaned on the door frame watching her, she wrapped her arms around her body, scared to bump into anything, as if one of the guns was going to go off or cocaine was going to magically get snorted up her nose. She looked at the wall that held the money. Each shelf held a dollar count. The top shelf held 100 dollar bills, underneath that was 50's then 20's and so on. Her eyes wide open, I assume she had never seen that much money up close, I assumed she had seen anything in that room up close. "I don't trust banks. They get robbed, They lose track of s**t, They're too nosey. They want to know everything about you in order to hold your money. And well, I don't have nothing to tell them. So all my personal money gets put down here, the only money that gets put into banks are charity funds."

I walked further into the room, pointing everything out. "This is paper-work of every politician and Wall Street runner I've sold to and currently sell to, every time I make a drop to them I make a note of how much drug it is and how much money they're paying me. Every text message and phone call gets recorded in their specific file."

"Why?" I looked over at her with an arched eyebrow, nobody had ever asked me why I did the things I did. It was the first time any woman questioned me, and I mean this was the first time any woman had ever been down there. But the reason I was so particular and OCD about things was because growing up I had the perfect example of what not to do and how not to run your business. And that example was Donte. So, I did the opposite of what he did.

"Protection... If anything happens, or let's say it goes sour between me and a certain individual and they threaten to out me. Well, they'll only be outing themselves as well, because I have everything that conspires between that customer and myself... And this is my product."

I pointed to another wall that held multiple shelving with multiple wrapped up bricks of cocaine. "All of them are sorted by country,weight, and potency. This is why I make special trips to South America. My product comes straight from the horses mouth, no fillers, no artificial flavor or coloring."

"Can... Can I?" She unwrapped her arms from her body and pointed at the shelf that held the largest bricks. I nodded my head giving her permission, she looked at me for a minute then looked at the brick longer, she hesitated to pick it up. But eventually wrapped her fingers around it. "It's... Heavy! Why is it so heavy!?"

It was so adorable how shocked she was, her eyes wide, eyebrows frowned, a slight smile as if she made a discovery. "Well it's a heavy drug... To say the least. But what you're holding his a whole brick, it's a whole Kilo, it hasn't been cut up yet..." I walked up behind her, centimeters from her body. "You see these bricks on these shelves underneath it, they're lighter, they've been cut up, weighed, and put into their packaging to be distributed." I smiled as I watched her slowly and lightly put the brick back in its exact spot, she even doubled back to straighten it. Like I said if it wasn't for me not having a wedding ring, I swear I would have given her my last name after I saw her do that.

"These are guns, of course I keep them..."

"Have you ever killed a person?" She cut me off questioning me again. This was how I knew she was the one. My mother once told me, that if a woman doesn't question her surroundings or the surroundings you put her in, she's reckless and doesn't care about you or herself and that she shouldn't be trusted. I paused for a moment. I could lie to her again, but I didn't have it in me, I had already told her this much. Why start lying now. Besides, I hate liars.

"Yes. And I'm not afraid to do it again." The more I spoke the more she looked scared. I looked her in the eyes. But as soon as I said those words the look she gave me hurt my soul. I clenched my jaw and sighed watching her eyes drop from mine, as she could no longer look at me. "Hey..."

I reached out and grabbed her arm but she flinched. That was the first time she ever flinched in fear like that. I may have only known her for a few days but I had never scared her. The s**t hurt. I stepped forward, she stepped back. "Hey, do you trust me?" She frowned but didn't answer. I honestly would have preferred for her to just say no than to do that to me. "Since the day I first interacted with you, have I put you in any danger?"

She shook her head. "No."

"So why would I now? I want you to understand that I will never put you in any type of danger or put you at risk. Do you understand." I stepped closer and grabbed her cheek, I looked in her eyes because I truly needed her to understand what I was saying. "None of this goes on while in your presence. I will keep you as far away from THIS as possible. Do you understand me!?"

"Yes."

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes." I took in that moment and pressed my lips to her. I could have stood there for days, but as long as I was kissing her I would have been fine. Here I was talking about Fear last longer than Love. Fear kept people Loyal. She'd be the one to prove me wrong. On many occasions.