Waiting For You (A Forbidden Love)

Chapter 18 In a relationship

I was in my deep thoughts remembering my past. How I get involved with Drice's family. How everything started from the beginning. How we develop a deep connection, strong friendship and mutual understanding over the years.

I haven't anticipated that the little kid whom I am taking care of, whom I'm fun of and very special to me becomes a big significant in my life today.

As the years go by we become so close, develop connection from deep within. The same connection I have many years ago on her grandmother. I never thought this kind of feeling and situation will exist again in me.

As she grows, i witnesses her life unfold in my eyes. I began to analyze what I had for her and understand that my feelings are not just something that fade away easily or a short lived emotion, no it's more than that.

Even how many times I tried to sweep away this emotion thinking it's not right. But it gets heavier the more I try to take it away. I already accepted that it will be a one sided love that I'm going to bear all my life and will remain a secret for years until I die.

But was surprised me is that she feels the same as how I felt. Even at a young age she understands her feelings for me already. I'm so happy at the same time in turmoil. I am afraid of the road we are taking.

Having an understanding with Drice and having this incest relationship is like I'm creating a fire and may ruin the friendship we had built for years.

By taking this relationship, having her beside me, being happy and enjoying the new found feeling means destroying her family and our future relationship with her parents.

"Why do I have to feel this way? Why can't I just have an ordinary relationship and be happy? Don't I deserve to be happy for real? Have I done wrong in my past life for me to be in this situation?"

These are the questions that lurk around my head. Dati di ako natatakot kasi alam ko sa aking sarili na ako lang ang problema. Walang nakakaalam sa naramdaman ko pero ngayon iba na. Kasi we have understanding and we are in relationships now.

The time run pass so quickly. She will turn 18 soon at magdebut na siya in few weeks. We manage to keep our understanding in secret, parang walang nagbago.

We often talk over the phone. Bihira lang kaming magkikita only kapag nasa city ako. Ipinapasyal ko din siya katulad ng nakagawian. Kaya walang nagdududa kapag magkasama kami.

But now the time has come. She reach her legal age in few days and as promised she pursue what we agreed upon before. We are happy pero nagpapakaba naman sa amin

"Ninong, bakit ka sobrang tahimik? May problema ka ba? Di ka ba masaya na kasama mo ako ngayon at finally may relasyon na tayo?" Biglang sabi ni Drice as se approached me sa hammock dito sa likod bahay namin.

Andito siya ngayon for vacation before going back to Manila for her debut.

"Nope baby, I'm so happy. I'm just thinking of our situation." Saad ko sa kanya as she sit down in front of me.

"You understand right, the things we are going to. The situation we are in at the moment?" Paintindi ko sa kanya ulit.

"Nagsisi ka ba na magkarelasyon na tayo ngayon?

"Nope baby, never I would regret it. You feeling the same as I do is the best feeling I got, believe me. All I want is to take care of you, love you, be with you always and at the same time keeping you safe."

"Ayoko na pagdaan mo ang mahihirap na situation but I guess di natin yan mapipigilan in the future. Things will come out sooner or later. As much as possible i wanted it to be open but we can't. It will raise tension to your family."

"Not just you being a minor but me being tied in the family for years and me being older than you. We need more time para maintindihan nila lahat at tanggapin tayo, it's not guaranteed but we need to try."

Paintindi ko pa sa kanya sa aming pagdadaanan.

"Huwag nalang natin isipan yun muna. We managed to keep it a secret for years, yun nalang din ang gagawin natin hanggang maging okay na lahat in a right time. We will be careful but we won't let negativity block our happiness. We will just enjoy what we have at the moment."

I'm happy with her attitude, she thinks maturely.

"You are right baby. How can I be lucky in you? Thank you for understanding." Nakangiti kong sabi. I wanted to kiss her at the moment pero baka may makakita na kasama namin dito sa bahay.

"Do you want us to go somewhere?"

"Saan naman?"

"To our favorite place and going out for horseback riding?"

"Sure. I will just change my clothes."

"Okay meet me at the back."

How can a young woman at18 years old have a deeper understanding in relationships? With no experience but me as her first boyfriend. She always surprised me.

Nakita ko siyang papalapit wearing her signature clothes when going into a horse back riding.

"Come on, hold my hands." She extended it to me at binira ko siya paakyat. We are only using Silver this time. Usually if maghorseback riding kami. We used 2 different horses. Silver and Black.

"Are you settled now?" Bulong ko sa kanya.

"Yeah, let's go." Umalis kami sa lugar. When we are in a safe side.

"Hold Silver baby so that I can hold you tight." Sinunod niya ang sinabi ko. I sneak my arms around her waist.

"Hmmm. I want to stay like this babe. You in my arms this close. The best feeling I got." Murmur ko sa kanya taynga.

"Yeah me too Ninong I like it too. Hope we can stay like this forever."

Pinasandal ko siya sa aking dibdib while the horse is in walking mode along the pathway heading to the upland.

The place we usually hang out to watch sunset kapag dapit hapon na. The place has a fascinating view looking at the ocean and valley.

"Do you like staying here on the farm? It's away from malls and other luxury place you go into. Here, no nice facilities like in the cities."

"I always love it here. I feel I was born in the farm. I like staying with animals, nature, doing gardening. I never like city life. Here I can find everything I want, nature and beaches."

Yeah I know it eversince she was young she always love to stay here. Have her vacation in the farm after school year sila ni Zerus. But lately Zerus is more interested in business like his dad.

Palaging sumasama kay Adric. Alam ko na ang patutunguhan ng batang yun paglaki. Maging katulad ng dad niya.

Ibinaon ko ang aking ulo sa kanyang liig. She has a very sweet alluring smell. A scent of a young lady. So natural and yet so addicting.

I'm at peace, my heart and mind in sync. Nothing I can ask for but this kind of moment. Me and her are together in this magnificent place.

"Baka makatulog ka na diyan. Mahuhulog tayo pareho sa baba." Remind niya sa akin.

"No babe, I'm just enjoying this moment being with you. Na tayo lang dalawa, having one heart at malaya nating magagawa ang ganitong bagay."

Nakarating kami sa lugar na tambayan namin. Walang taong pumupunta dito kasi ipinagbabawal ko.

This is my sanctuary, our private place ni Drice. May falls sa baba where we swim often at walang makapasok na tagalabas kasi mataas ang bakod sa buong lugar at may kuryenteng pa.

I made a kubo here para may pahingaan kami kapag nagpupunta dito. We can also cook here, complete amenities.

Itinali ko si Silver sa kahoy for her to eat the grass while waiting for us. She's very loyal horse. My gift to Drice when she's at 5 years old.

Naglagay ng mattress sa grass si Drice where we usually standby.

I lay down in her lap and her holding my face, tracing every contour of it. She has delicate fingers. I love this feeling.

"Ninong, I love you. You're the best man for me next to dada. I can't find another man as good as you. Ever since ikaw na talaga ang idol ko in terms of a man to be my love.

She keeps saying this to me but still di ko mapigilang maging masaya at mapahanga sa kanya. Telling me her feelings always felt good and special.

"I love you too baby, so much that it hurts me knowing we are in a restricted relationship. How I wish we are in different times and just enjoying this kind of love." Wika ko pa as I look into her eyes. I would always lose on it. Her eyes remembrance much of her grandmother.

"Come lie down with me baby. I wanna embrace you and hold you close na di ko nagagawa before." She lay down beside me. We are facing each other now.

"My dream is makasama kita all day in this paradise. Hawak natin ang panahon at situation. Dream together as the days goes. Being free to tell how we feel for one another."

Sabi ko sa kanya while looking closely at her, minsan inaalis ang mga buhok na tumatabon sa kanyang mukha. She looks so innocent and fragile.

"One day, I hope we can do all that na malaya, walang kinatatakutan at alinlangan. We will be together forever in this place which is our paradise, our home. Would you love that baby?" I saw her nodding at me.

I'm touching her face until I touch her lips. It was so red and delectable, looks so enticing to bite.

"Yeah I want that. To be with you is what I long for. Wishing it to be for life." I smile at her response. Di ako nagkamali sa panghihintay sa kanya. It was all worth it.

"Baby, can I kiss you. I promise I will not go farther, I just wanted to taste your sweet lips in me." Tumango naman.

I kiss her slowly, ninamnam namin ang bawat sandali. I felt in heaven. It was an amazing kiss that I almost got lose. She responded to the kiss like I do.

I have kissed different women in my life before but iba pala talaga kapag mahal mo ang kahalikan. The feeling is surreal, hard to explain.

"Do you like it? Do you like to be kissed by me? Di ka ba mandidiri sa akin?"

"Yeah I like it very much;" nahihiya niyang sabi while her face turns into red. "Bakit naman ako mandidiri sayo?" Pagtataka pa niya.

"Because I'm already old. I'm an old guy baby." Malungkot kong sabi. But it's the reality.

"I don't care if you're old. For me you are just the same as the first time I saw you and have a crush on."

"Talaga? When did you have a crush on me?"

"Hmm I guess when i was just 8 or before that. All I know is nahihiya ako sayo every time you look at me but I also want to be with you always."

"Wow! You have a crush on me that long? I feel really honored baby. A beautiful lady like you have a crush on someone like me." Di ko mapigilang mapangiti ng malapad.

This gorgeous woman beside me is my girlfriend now. Who would not be proud?

"Am I your first kiss?" I decided to tease her and get more information kahit alam ko na ang sagot.

"Yes, ikaw naman talaga ang first kiss kahit noon pa."

"What? What do you mean noon pa?" I'm really confused right now.

"I had kissed you before back when I was so young at tulog ka nun. And remember you often kiss me before kapag pinapatulog mo ako at kapag dumating ka or umaalis."

"Yeah but that was a different kiss baby." It's a tender kiss and acts as love for a baby. But yeah you are right. I already had a different feeling for you back then."

We spend our day hanging out and enjoying the moment together just us.