Loving you Forever

Chapter 4

Caroline awoke to a scream, and that scream was not the last one. She jumped up from the bed, throwing on a robe over her sleeping gown. The door to her room seemed heavier as she pulled it open, somehow, she knew what she was going to find. Caroline slowly made her way down the hall, approaching the open and crowded doorway to her husband's bedchamber.

"George, what is going on?" She asked, her voice slow but firm.

"M'lady….I think you should…" He started to say, over the wrecked form of Lucy, one of the maids.

"I will not go back to bed George. Get out of my way if you will not answer me." She commanded and stepped through the door.

Caroline stopped as she saw the crumpled body of her husband on the floor, there was a large, bloody wound on the side of his head. She could see a matching blood mark on the edge of one of the banisters. She hid the small smile that spread on her lips with a hand, hoping that George would see it as her chocking back a sob. Caroline knelt down next to the body that was once her husband, and brushed the hair off of his face. She noticed tiny marks on his neck, there were little drops of blood around the wound, she decided that there was nothing important about them.

"I hope you rot in hell, you bastard." She whispered into his dead ear, quiet enough so that the two standing in the door could not hear her.

Caroline got to her feet slowly and needed every ounce of her self-control to keep the grin she felt from her lips. She forced tears to come to her eyes and turned back to the doorway, "Has anyone been sent to Colin, John, or my father yet?"

"No….m'lady….I will get on it right away." George stuttered, hurrying off down the hall, hopefully to send servants to Andrew's brothers and her father.

"Lucy, you take the rest of the day off." Caroline told the barely standing girl in front of her, "Please, go home."

"Yes, m'lady. Thank you." She whispered and hurried away in the same direction as George.

Caroline looked back briefly at the body on the floor and then walked gracefully back to her room. The smile on her face could have lit up the darkest hallway, I am finally free. I cannot wait to tell Rebekah.

Caroline played the grieving widow perfectly as members of Andrew's family, her own, and others walked through her house. All offered condolences and assurances that her life would go on. She whispered thanks and all the necessary pleasantries. Andrew had been dead almost two days and she had still not heard from Rebekah, the person she most wanted to see. With the open wake going on today, Caroline knew that Rebekah and at least one of her brothers would attend. Social standing manners required it and Caroline hoped that she hadn't underestimated her relationship with Rebekah.

"Caroline, how are you holding up?" A voice said, shaking her from her thoughts on her absent friend.

"As well as can be expected Victoria." Caroline replied and turned to look at her step-mother, only five years older than herself. She had dark, full hair and green, suspicious eyes. Caroline had never been a person to openly hate another person, but her step-mother was probably an exception. Caroline lowered her voice, "Are you enjoying my misfortune?"

Victoria let a playful smirk flit across her features before she put on her mask and said, "I would never be happy at your misfortune dear daughter."

Before she could respond, Caroline heard someone comment, "Yes, it is a shame when such a horrible accident takes someone so young." Her head snapped up instantly at the familiar voice. She saw the blonde and her eldest brother standing near Andrew's brother and mother. Rebekah locked eyes with her and gave her a reassuring smile before nodding her departs to those around her and walked swiftly to Caroline's side, glaring at a disapproving Victoria before pulling Caroline into an embrace and saying, "How about you and I go somewhere a bit more private my darling?"

"I would like that." Caroline whispered and slowly walked toward the stairs and her chambers, nodding and saying her thanks and goodbyes to everyone she passed.

Rebekah did not say a word until they entered the privacy of Caroline's sitting room. Caroline shut the door and Rebekah said, "How are you holding up?"

"Oh, you know, it is all just so…" Caroline started to say, letting a smile start to form on her features.

"Wonderful?" Rebekah suggested as she interrupted her friend, the smile strong on her beautiful face.

"Yes, and surprising and confusing at the same time." Caroline admitted, sitting in a chair near the fireplace, "I just never expected this to happen. I am free Bekah, completely free from a marriage and a husband I wanted no part of. But it is also hard pretending to be grieving for a man I am more than happy is dead and out of my life."

"You only need to pretend for a little while longer. I am sure you will be moving back into your father's mansion soon." Rebekah said, sitting relaxed in the chair next to Caroline, "Then you and I can enjoy the non-married life together."

Caroline laughed at the excited look on Rebekah's face but her joy dropped quickly, "No, I will not be allowed to stay a widow for long, my stepmother will never allow it. I will be married again in six months, it is practically a guarantee."

"I do hope you are wrong." Rebekah commented, her face suddenly very serious. She also started to look around the room, as if trying to place something, and said, "What if your new husband hates me just as much as the last one?"

"Well, you have three single brothers, maybe one of them wants a washed up widow." Caroline joked, looking at the low fire, not noticing the look Rebekah got on her face.

Rebekah was unusually silent as she ate dinner that same night with her brothers, her mind was running wild. She could see how happy Caroline was to be free of Andrew, a man that Rebekah had never liked when she had interactions with him. Plus the stories that she had gotten from Caroline were not things that left good impressions.

Raymondwas the first to notice the distance his sister was keeping, "What is wrong with you tonight Bekah?"

"Excuse me?" She asked, her eyes drifting to her brother immediately.

"I cannot remember the last time you sat through a meal without saying a word." Raymondcommented, taking a bite out of the venison on his plate.

"I am thinking about my friend, she has had a difficult few days." Rebekah replied, glaring at her brother.

"A friend that none of us even knew you had before your party a few days ago." Raymondpointed out, "Why all the secrecy?"

"Maybe it has to do with the last time I introduced a woman to this family." Rebekah answered, and Raymonddeflated a bit under her gaze.

"I apologized for that." Raymondsaid, taking a long drink before saying, "Are you ever going to let that go?"

"Probably not, I liked that girl, but so did you, so you bedded her, and then killed her." Rebekah replied, "You will need at least another century to make it up to me."

Nik was chuckling behind his own glass, and had not meant for it to draw attention on himself for the action.

"Stay away from her Nik." Rebekah told him, her glare sincere and threatening.

"I already told you that I have no intention of harming your friend. Why is that so hard to believe?" Nik asked, carefully setting his own glass down on the table.

"I am not an i***t. Do you think that I did not smell your lingering scent in Caroline's bedroom this afternoon?" Rebekah asked, and then lowered her anger, "Did you kill Andrew?"

Nik looked at her with surprise, "What possible reason could I have to kill him?"

"You want Caroline. She is a proper, respectful woman though. She would not jump into another man's bed while her husband, no matter how abusive, was still alive. This frees her up, allowing you to try and seduce her." Rebekah explained, she had been thinking about it ever since she had smelt Nik in Caroline's room, and Caroline had made that off-handed comment about single brothers.

"I think you are giving me a lot of devious credit here little sister." Nik commented, but he could see how the wheels were turning in Edward's head, while Raymondjust looked like he had been left out of the loop.

"We both know it is as not as much of a stretch as you are trying to get us to believe." Rebekah replied, "Have you ever even talked to her?"

"I had a nice little chat with her the night of your party." Nik admitted, and refused to let his sister's stare get the better of him.

"You don't know anything about her Nik. I suggest you learn a few things before you go through with whatever plan you have running wild in your head." Rebekah told him before getting to her feet and rushing from the room.

Raymondfollowed his sister with his eyes, before looking between his brothers, "What is going on?"

"Our sister seems to under the impression that Nikolas is….after her friend Caroline, and killed her husband to get to her." Edward supplied, and gave Nikolas a look, "Is she correct?"

"What concern of yours is it whether or not it is true?" Nik asked his elder brother, finishing off his glass as he did.

Edward let out a sigh, "We do not to be drawing any attention to ourselves. It is why we use a false surname, and do not kill within the mansion walls. I don't want this to add to our problems."

"Relax Edward. I know what I am doing, and it will not draw him to us." Nik said and rose from his chair, "I am just having a little fun brother."

"I wish you would find it with someone else. Be careful Nikolas, you know how stubborn and protective Rebekah can be." Edward warned him, and looked to Raymondwho let lose a slight cringe as he remembered some of his sister's wrath.

"You all have such little faith in me." Nik replied and then walked from the dining room.

Nik' thoughts were focused on Caroline has he headed to his chambers. Rebekah was right in one sense, he did not know very much about the object of his affection. He smirked, he was sure that could easily be rectified.

Caroline sat quietly in the courtyard of her father's estate, her black gown making her hot in the sun. Andrew had been dead for four days and she had still not shed a tear for the loss.

"Lady Caroline, you have a visitor." The butler announced from the doorway.

"Who is it Robert?" She asked, turning to look at the man, he had been butler for her family for her entire life, plus some. He was shorter than most men, and though he was over sixty, he kept his body in good health.

"Lord Nikolas Plantagenet." Robert responded, the lack of respect for the guest clear in his voice.

"See him in please." Caroline said, standing and straightening her dress.

She watched the door carefully as Robert showed in her guest. He was dressed in a simple, well-tailored tunic, vest and riding pants. The sight of him made her smile and she did her best to hide her extreme pleasure at seeing him. "You can return to your duties Robert." She told the butler as the remained standing near the entrance to the backyard as the Lord continued walking toward her.

"My lady, I am so sorry for your loss." Nik said, taking her hand in his and kissing her knuckles. The twinkle in his deep blue eyes made her question the sincerity of the words.

"Thank you my lord." She replied and curtsied, "Would you like to sit?"

"After you." He indicated and carefully sat next to her, not wanting to touch her without permission, "How are you holding up?"

"Better than I would expect." She answered, taking a deep breath, "I thought that if I was to lose Andrew that I would find myself completely alone and go into a depression like I had when my children died. But, instead, I feel like I am finally free, like a giant weight has been lifted off of my chest." She was shocked she would share something so personal with him, but she trusted Rebekah and she knew Nikolas was her favorite brother, and had mentioned him often over the past few months.

"You had children?" Nik asked, not knowing this little bit of information about her. Rebekah had told him that she and Caroline had meet after Caroline had suffered a great loss during the plague earlier in the year, but he never thought of children.

"Two, almost three." She answered, her voice becoming choked up and she looked away from his eyes, her hand unconsciously going to rest on her stomach.

"You do not have to discuss it with me, I should not pry into your life." He said, the sincerity in his words surprising him, since he desperately wanted to know everything about her.

"You do not pry my lord. I brought it up. Would you really like to know what happened to make me the woman you know? But I warn you, my life is not a happy story and it might make you think of me differently." She asked, her blue eyes locking with his own, the tears threatening to fall doing nothing to distort her beauty.

"Only tell me if you want me to know love." He whispered and took one of her delicate hands in his larger ones, as a show of comfort.

Caroline smiled at his kindness, she was unsure if she should share her life story with a stranger, but she so badly wanted to talk to someone. So she began, "I married Andrew when I was barely fifteen, an arrangement made by my father. I did not love him, I had only meet him a few times before the wedding. As the first year of our marriage progressed he was kind to me and told me he loved me, I believed him and over time fell for him. I become pregnant a little before my sixteenth birthday and we were so overjoyed. When Mary was born, it was the happiest day of my life. Andrew was not the same though. He was upset that she was not a boy. His father, Andrew Sr., assured Andrew that it was not something to be upset about. We were both still so young and one child was not all we should have. When Mary was about 5 months old, I become pregnant again. I was sure that this pregnancy would bring our marriage back to what it was before Mary's birth, and I was not wrong." Caroline paused, and took a deep breath, Nik squeezed her hand in support, and she continued, "A few days after Mary's first birthday, I went into labor. I knew it was too early and I was deeply afraid. Andrew had left the day before to go on a hunting trip with his father, brothers, and uncles. The baby came, and he was stillborn. It was heart wrenching to see that too small, breathless body. I did not have anyone to comfort me, my mother had died when I was ten and I had no close women friends. So I huddled in my room, holding Mary to me desperately for three days. I knew Andrew would be angry, and he was. He blamed me for the death of our son, that was the first time he ever hit me. And, at the young age of 18, my life was more confusing than I ever could have imagined." She paused again, looking to see the reaction Nik was having to her story but she couldn't read his expression.

"It took me over a year to get pregnant again, partially because I did not want him to ever touch me but I was persuaded into it. I was extra careful during that time, I did not want to experience that loss again. My little Andrew was born right on time, and was perfectly healthy. I had never seen my husband so happy and the feeling was contagious. A few months later and I was a 21 year old mother of two, with a loving, devoted husband. I could not have been happier. A little after my 22nd birthday, I discovered I was pregnant again." She smiled at the thought, and then it dropped, "But that was the last truly happy moment I had in my marriage. Two months later, the plague hit town. As I am sure you remember, so many people got sick, so many people died. My son got sick very early on, he was too young, barely a year old. My father-in-law followed my son into the afterlife not much later. It was not too long before almost the entire household was sick. The sickness attacked me quickly. I think that my condition and the loss of my son left me an easy victim. On the third day of my sickness, I awoke to an awful pain in my stomach and blood had flooded my legs. I knew I had lost the baby before I was ever told by the midwife. I was too delirious to hear what Andrew yelled at me after that, but I knew he was blaming me for the disease that stole our son and the unborn child in my belly. I slept for four days after that but when I awoke, the fever had broken and I was told that I would survive, but I was also told that Mary had become ill. I forced them to take me to her room, and I did not leave her side as the disease slowly stole my last child from me. On the day Mary died, I swore to the heavens that I would never again have a child. The world is too cruel and I could not handle that sort of loss ever again and hope to survive."

"I am so sorry." Nik whispered after he was sure she was not going to continue, "I had no idea you had suffered so much in your young life."

"Not many know the full extent." She whispered in return, wiping the tears from her cheeks, "And many are even more surprised that I am still a functioning woman."

"You are much stronger than those fools give you credit for." He assured her, squeezing the hand he held even tighter.

"It took me many months to completely overcome the sickness, not only from the plague, but from the grief that controlled my heart. I did not leave my bedroom for months after the deaths of my children. I think I was waiting for death to claim me as well, I thought seriously about killing myself a few times. I even went as far to pick up a knife and place the blade at my wrist, but I could not cut. Andrew ignored me for that time I spent in my room, locked away from the world, and even for a few months when I finally left it." She explained, a strange smile on her face, "The first time he entered my bed chamber after the death of our children, nearly six months later, he was so drunk he could barely walk. I got a heavy beating that night, I refused to let him have my body and he must have also realized that he lost my heart."

"I find it hard to believe that anyone would ever lay a hurtful hand on you, or any woman that had been though what you have experienced." He said, his voice full of a hidden rage and he was glad that he had killed the man.

"My husband was a singular man and that is not said with respect. I was however able to keep him out of my bed successfully since the death of our children." She said with a smirk, proud at the accomplishment.

"Only a confident woman can admit to such a thing." Nik said with respect.

"I was not always that way, but my experiences over the last year have changed me. And only your sister seems to appreciate it." Caroline said, smiling at the mention of Rebekah.

"I would not say that love." He said and noticed a pleasant blush appear on her cheeks, "How did you meet my dear sister? She has never mentioned it to me, and what I have been able to pry out her is not much."

"I was shopping with my maid in the lower town and so was your sister. She and I both grabbed for the same fabric at the same time." Caroline's eyes were all sparkles again, no longer crowded with tears, "She and I fought over it for a while and then decided to have some tea together. We have talked weekly ever since."

"Really, you had a fight with my sister and that turned into a friendship?" He asked and felt like his face showed the shock in his voice.

"Yes." She said with a laugh, "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Very hard to believe. I have known Rebekah her entire life and never once have I heard of a fight with her over something she wanted and end with a friendship instead of bloodshed." Nik said with a smile of his own on his lips.

"Your sister is something else." Caroline responded and Nik could tell that she meant it as a compliment.

"That she is." Nik agreed, watching Caroline's features carefully.

She looked him straight in the eyes and her face indicated that she was looking for something. She smiled and blushed a few more times before letting out a small giggle and asking, "Why are you here my lord?"

The question caught Nik completely off guard, and he decided to take an honest view on his dealings with this woman, "I fancy you."

Caroline flinched in response to that, not expecting that to be his answer, "Why would you fancy me?"

"Your strong, beautiful, and have a fire that I find so enticing. I just cannot seem to keep you off my mind, have not been able to since the first moment I saw you." He confessed and hoped that he had not said too much.

"When was that moment my lord?" She questioned, leaning into him more than she had been before.

He paused not sure if he could keep up the honesty with this question, so he chose to lie, "When you walked through the door to my mansion the night of Rebekah's party. You were absolutely breathtaking in that moment. I did not even care that standing next to you was your husband, it was rather improper of me."

"Yes, it was, but can I tell you a little secret?" She asked, moving so now their thighs were touching through their clothing.

"Have you not been telling me your secrets all afternoon already love?" He teased, brushing a fallen lock of her hair behind her ear.

"I suppose I have." She agreed and let out a tiny laugh, "I found myself inappropriately attracted to you myself that evening. There was something about the way that you presented yourself that I found…"

Caroline did not get to finish her sentence as he closed the distance between them, laying his lips on hers gently, not pressing for anything more. When he pulled away, Caroline felt her breath hitch, and come back uneven. Her eyes were still closed but she smiled at the thought of the contact.

"I apologize, I should not…" He started to say but was stopped when she placed a finger on his lips.

"Do not apologize for anything my lord, you did nothing I was not encouraging." She assured him and placed a gentle kiss of her own on his lips. When she pulled away, she said, "It is getting late my lord."

"Yes, that it is my lady." He agreed and got to his feet, holding out his hand for her, "And please, when we are in private like this, call me Nik."

She did not respond with words, only a smile, and Nik was sure this was a new memory to be seared on him forever as he placed a goodbye kiss on the back of her hand. He couldn't wait to see what the future was going to bring if this woman was in his life.