I couldn't erase what had happened, but I was so happy that Heidi wasn't really affected by it. But I was. I woke up early, way early, and checked on her every morning before my dad came to get her. Then I would go back into my room and lay with Jack while he slept. He would bring me in close and stuff his face in my neck and sleep soundly. But I was wide awake.
And my almost sleepless nights were starting to affect me. I would be in the car at a stop light and just blink and be woken up with a blare of a horn.
Jack was noticing the changes in my face. I had dark circles when I didn't put on makeup, and I started dressing like I was in bed at all times. I wore sweat everywhere, slippers most of the time, if not those then flip flops. And tank top that I didn't change regularly.
"Baby,
