17
1419 Words
1st October
Mathew looked at Autumn, who was twitching. She wasn’t sure that she could talk
Today she’d got so much to fit in so little time. She hoped she could deal with the pain today. “Are you ready, Autumn?”
She looked at the scruffy-haired shrink. Could she pour her heart out to him, pour all her anger out?
She pulled herself up off the chair outside the office, stepping in. He closed the door behind him. “Please sit.”
She walked slowly over to the sofa, dropping onto it.
He sat opposite her looking at her. “Are you okay Autumn? I can sense your insecurity this morning.”
“I’m fine, it’s just… It’s hard to talk about it.”
“Try Autumn, you need to put all of your demons behind you.”
“I know it’s just she was my best friend.”
He changed his position to upright and engaged in her response. “I see.”
“We were so close when her and Rudgey got it together.”
“One of Taylor’s friends?”
“Yeah, his best friend. I always thought that he made a pass at her to prove that Taylor wasn’t the only one that could pick’em. She was so different than he was.”
“What do you mean differently?”
“He was so up front he knew what he wanted. She was so quiet, she was always unable to make any decisions until the last minute.”
“So you reckon, he talked her round, twisted her arm.”
“Maybe she never said. She said that she was meeting him and was unsure if she’d made the right decision. I said she’d know. It wasn’t what was on the outside, it was what was inside that counts. You can’t always go on a person at face value. I told her it’s only a mask it’s what’s on the inside that counts right.”
“Yeah it is.”
“Anyway, she met him. I didn’t think she would. She was so nervous, so unsure of what to wear or whether he’d show up or not.”
“And did he?”
“Yeah, they clashed. They were both running late. He’d had a run in with his olds, she’d had a run in with her wardrobe. Both of their parents weren’t too struck by the idea that they were meeting up. They weren’t too pleased that they were in different years. I don’t think either of them were sure if it was going to go anywhere after their first date.”
“Yet it did.”
“Yeah it did. She was so happy, they were together every break and lunch. They saw each other after school, and we all spent the weekends together.”
“So they were really into one another?”
“Yeah she really loved him then…” She stopped, tears fell off her face.
“It’s okay Autumn. Take a breather.”
“I need to finish.”
“Maybe next time.”
“She was my best friend, Matthew, and she died on me.”
“I’m sure that it wasn’t like that.” He said, moving over to her, placing his arm around her, trying to comfort her. “You had no idea what she was thinking, Autumn.”
“I wish that I had. Then she wouldn’t be dead. She’d be here.” She cried.
He pulled her close. “It’s okay Autumn, I’m here. Just take it one step at a time.”
She cried into his oversize jumper.
The bell rang.
“You had best go to your next lesson Autumn.” He said, taking his arm round her. He wished that he'd had more time with her. He placed his fingers under her eyes wiping her tears away. “Just remember the good times, they’ll cancel out all the bad.”
She pulled herself up and walked away. She opened the door. She looked at Mathew, who simply smiled. She closed the door behind her. He was worried about her today. She’d barely opened up, yet he could understand why. She felt abandoned by her friends.
Daniel squeezed her sides. She stared at him through her glazed eyes. “Need I ask what the prob is, or should I just keep it shut?”
“It’s not a good day, Dan.”
“Care to share.”
“Not really no.”
“You talk to Harding.”
“He’s my shrink.”
“And I’m your friend.”
“You sound like Con.”
“Well, he’s right.”
“I’m sorry Dan, it’s just too much pain.”
“I understand. It took me a lot longer to talk to Grayson than you are to Harding. I’m impressed that it hasn’t taken you six months or more.”
“I was told not to screw it up.”
“Don’t mean that you have to pour your heart out during the first few sessions.”
“I didn’t.”
“You slipped up though.”
“I didn’t mean to, it was a slip of the tongue.”
“So is it really going okay?”
“Yeah. It’s just a bad day.”
“Trouble getting started?”
“Trouble talking about the parts of the past or wishing to forget. The parts of the past that hurt so much.’
“I understand I’ll walk you to class, and I’ll meet all of you during break.”
“Okay.”
They walked down the corridor, she went into the lesson, slipping in next to Connor.
“Where have you been?”
“Sorry I was out late. I bumped into Dan. He walked down with me.”
“Right class settle down.”
They all walked out of the class for break, having a cigarette before their next lesson. They all met up for lunch.
“So are we all up for Saturday?”
“What’s happening on Saturday?”
“Haven’t you told her?”
Connor sat phased.
“Hazza’s sixteenth dummy.”
“Oh s**t, I forgot.”
“Eight pm.”
“Sure we’ll be there.”
“You’ll come, won’t you, Autumn?”
“I guess.”
“Cool, you can tag with Con and Dan. They know the place like the palm of their hand.”
They all went outside to have a cigarette before going to registration.
Connor looked at Autumn. “You don’t have to go.”
“It’s okay.”
“You sure? You seem a little unsure.”
“I’m fine, it could be fun.”
Connor kissed her softly, telling her he’d meet her at the end of school.
She went into her last two lessons sitting next to Daniel.
The bell rang and they all walked out. Her face hadn’t changed much from this morning. “Look red, I’m sorry if I sound as if I’m prying.”
“You’re not.”
“Well, I’m sorry if I did, I know how hard it is to open up about the one thing that you want to forget. So does Con and I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.”
’“How’s about I take you for a shake?”
“You hitting on me?”
“No. I just want to say sorry.”
“I don’t know Dan. Con.”
“He’ll be cool.”
“About what?”
Daniel looked at Connor. “Just a shake, to say sorry.”
’“Your big mouth get in the way again?”
“Yeah, Autumn's session daint go too well.”
“Really why?”
“Personal.”
“I’m sure you can tell us.”
She glared at him dead.
“Maybe not.”
“So is it cool for me to take Autumn for a shake?”
“Sure. I’ll meet you around four, and I’ll buy you one too.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I do. Me and my big mouth an apology babe. I should know by now when not to push it. The look in your eyes said that I crossed the line.”
“Fine. I’ll meet Dan first, then you just have to shut the both of you up.”
They smiled. “Sweet.”
“Come on, let’s go.”
They all walked out of school meeting their friends, walking. Saying their goodbyes.
- Writer
