5. Leona
1587 Words
I’m nervous. Which is ridiculous when you think about it. In a few minutes, the first guests will be arriving, and I’m as stressed as if I were to meet the greatest casting director that ever existed.
“Do we have to invite all these people?” I ask my mother for the fiftieth time.
“We’re not going to tell everyone that the party is cancelled now. Everything will be fine, Leo,” she answers calmly, certainly too used to my whims.
“We can always say that there was a death in the family,” I try.
She stares at me in dread and makes the sign of the cross.
I swear to you, if I ever have a child as annoying as I am, I’ll give it up for adoption. It’s a miracle that my parents put up with me all these years.
“Would you like to bury your grandmother prematurely? Leo...”
I cut her off before she faints.
“I wasn’t talking about grandma! Don’t we have an old aunt that no one remembers who we could easily bury?”
This time, she doesn’t even bother to answer me and places a salad bowl full of mini–puffs on the table.
Seeing that my idea doesn’t land well, I leave for a careful examination of the living room. I have already removed all the family photos where I was to my disadvantage. That is to say almost all. I put up a beautiful photo of Madelyn at the time when she was wearing braces and an improbable perm, which should keep the guests interested for a little while.
Lena is sitting on the couch playing on her cell phone, or chatting with her friends about the harsh reality of life as a 17-year-old teenager… well, one of the things young people do these days.
“I know why you’re so stressed,” she hums without taking her eyes off her screen.
“Don’t you have homework to do?”
“I have my exams next week,” she replies, annoyed.
“That’s what I was saying!” I shouted at my mother, who had returned to the kitchen. “Is it reasonable that we are entertaining people while Lena is in the middle of revising?”
“Lena is leaving in ten minutes to spend the evening cramming with her best friend. She won’t be disturbed.”
My sister gives me a victorious smile which means two things: one, that she’s not going to work at all tonight; two, that she’s very happy to have the perfect excuse to escape.
“I ran into Manon Nico earlier. We chatted for a little while, he got pretty damn hot, I think,” says the rebellious teenager with whom I apparently share DNA.
A shiver of horror runs through me.
“Yes, and he’s also a hell of a lot older than you.”
“So, you agree that he’s super sexy?”
“I never… Mom! Lena is having conversations inappropriate for her age!”
“Leo! Leave your sister alone! She needs to focus on her studies!” Mum says from the kitchen.
I glare at the unbearable kid and she chuckles. I try to apply breathing techniques learned in theatre classes to try to calm myself down. I’m in enough trouble right now not to add fratricide to the list.
The front door opens, I jump and straighten up before realizing that it’s only my other sister and her husband arriving. They kiss me and Madelyn exclaims:
“I didn’t know that the dress code was evening wear!”
Okay, the four-inch heels for a barbecue at my parents’ house, maybe that’s a bit too much. But I wanted to appear… to my advantage. And I know these toe killers make me look gorgeous.
They both disappear to go say hello to mom and dad, and it wasn’t until ten minutes later, when she reappeared with a glass of water in her hand, that my big sister felt obliged to tell me:
“I heard from mom that Manon is coming this evening.”
“Among others, a good thirty people. Did she tell you that Miss Pelerin will be there? You know, the librarian? I seem to remember that she never found the little devil who cut out pages from Swiss Family Robinson with scissors.”
“The ending was much nicer after my editing. Fritz and Jenny shouldn’t have left the island,” she answers with a tone of annoyance.
“From what I was told, she liked that book very much, which was a personal gift for the children of the village. She still hasn’t recovered from this vandalism.”
Madelyn glares at me and mumbles something about some obscure task and leaves. For my part, I tell myself that I don’t have enough compromising evidence on the whole family to survive this evening.
In the hours that follow, I’m as tense as a guitar string ready to break. Every time the door opens for new arrivals, my stomach twists. But it’s almost 9:30 p.m. and still no sign of Manon. Of course, it would kill him to have the politeness to show up at a decent hour!
The doorbell rings. Once again, my heart leaps. Everyone is here, it can only be him! I grab a glass of champagne and pretend to be absorbed in a conversation with two neighbours about their lawnmowers. It’s all I have to hand.
I hear mom open the door and exclaim:
“Oh! How nice!”
No doubts, it must be Manon who has just arrived and who must have given her one of his double compliments to flatter her.
I burst into a thunderous laugh without looking back to the door, just to show that I’m having fun like crazy with the neighbours and their gardening equipment. The two stop their conversation and stare at me, looking vaguely concerned. They walk away to the buffet, and the next second, I find myself with a large bouquet of roses right in front of my eyes.
“Look at what Manon gave me,” announces Mom who almost vanishes under the flowers.
Of course, he had to choose the most pretentious thing in the store.
But as I expect to come face to face with the infamous neighbour, it’s a tall guy with a cap staring at me, chewing gum.
“Are you Leona Chorro?” he asks.
“Yes,” I answer, wondering if he’ll hand me a subpoena like in an American series.
I relax, telling myself that apart from my thoughts, I haven’t hurt anyone yet tonight. He hands me a delivery slip.
“Can you sign here?”
I do so and the next moment he hands me a box with a big, ridiculous bow.
I go to isolate myself in the kitchen, not wanting to open the package in front of everyone. If it’s one of his twisted games… Yes, because on the receipt, I spotted the name of the sender… Manon. Besides, where is he? No idea.
While I expect dozens of things – dead mice, live cockroaches, a compromising photo of myself – I’m amazed to discover a bottle of wine. There’s a note that goes with it:
You will excuse my absence to your mother, I’ve been detained and won’t be able to join you this evening. Here’s a bottle to celebrate your return to Locron. It reminds me of you.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is the pathetic reality of what Manon Nico is. A man who is unable to keep a commitment he made only hours before!
What about the bottle of wine? No, but seriously! My brother–in–law has a wine estate! He couldn’t have chosen a more useless gift!
I leave said bottle in the kitchen and tell myself that I’ll try to find people who have bearable conversations. I see Cora, Madelyn’s best friend. She’s perfect. Kindness embodied, and her boyfriend Leo is far from unpleasant to look at. What? I know he’s taken but I’m not allowed to discreetly stare? More seriously, they are so cute together that it settles my heart more than it makes me jealous. And then I feel a bit like I had something to do with their relationship, even if I didn’t actually do anything: they met thanks to an email which was intended for me and which arrived at Leo, who shares my name.
It wasn’t until a good half an hour later that I heard a cry of fear coming from the kitchen and which seemed to me to come from Jameson.
“Damn! But what is this plonk?”
Okay, as a winery owner my brother–in–law tends to be a little picky about the quality of the wine. I walk into the room to try to figure out what’s going on. He’s there with Leo.
This one adds with a grimace:
“How awful! It tastes like vinegar, it’s so sour!”
My eyes fall on their glasses, then slide over to the bottle they filled them with. The bottle from Manon...
It reminds me of you.
How could I have imagined for a second that it was a gift?
He’s only here for a weekend and he manages to ruin my life. I can’t wait for him to go back to the Bordeaux region where he works.
- Writer
