Love Is Proud

Avowed by John Amory

Avowed by John AmoryThis poem is a far cry

from what I thought I would write.

Looking at you as you sigh

in your sleep on our last night together

as single people. My vows

are as scattered as our lives.

I have never felt more alive

than when I first held you as you cried,

than that day I first vowed

to be yours, always: to always tell you you’re right,

to always put your pieces back together,

to always be by and on your side.

I don’t know where I would be, besides.

These past twenty years have given me life–

your heart my place, like leaves, to gather;

your body my shelter when the clouds start to crying;

your voice my assurance that all is right.

I’m sorry these words have gone so long unavowed.

Remember the days we had only vowels?

So lost, so enthralled, we could only sigh–

we spoke with our eyes, our hands, and wrote

the rest in bad poetry. The world of the living

passed us by, unnoticed: speech was decried

as we created the language of bodies pressed together.

Who would have guess we’d come so far together?

Over two decades, family and friends have disavowed

the union we’ve wanted and courts can now decree.

Our love is not the same, they said: an aside,

an affront to the “traditional lifestyle.”

But we have stayed strong in the face of the Right.

Because being here next to you is right.

Watching you sleep, your hands pressed together

in silent prayer, I long to share your life

for another twenty years and beyond. I vow

to spend every night at your side,

even when you make me want to scream and cry.

These are the vows I’ve written and will share with you.

Tomorrow, with tears in my eyes and you by my side,

we will finally have the life promised by those three colors, together.

* * * *

ABOUT JOHN AMORY

John Amory is an out, proud gay man. He is an English professor in New Jersey who has worked with several local and national LGBT organizations in the fight for equality and visibility, including AFER, The Matthew Shepard Foundation, The It Gets Better Project, and FACT Bucks County. For more information, visit facebook.com/JohnAmoryAuthor.