The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

Chapter 10 - Theo

This girl was having an effect on me that I did not expect. My heart was pounding so hard… and other parts of my body were responding too. Parts that Autumn really did not need to know were responding. I had clearly not had s*x in far too long. But, the way she looked at me was messing with my mind.

Although, while she was messing with my mind, the part of my mind that was still capable of functioning was curious. Intrigued by her. Everything about her. Dammit. I wanted to know what the hell had happened in the years since we had seen each other. What the f**k had I missed? Because she was holding something back.

Autumn was telling me it was complicated. Yet she had admitted she was technically married. That implied to me, they weren’t together now. Kind of obvious because, unless he was the invisible man, there was most definitely not a man with her here. So what were the circumstances surrounding this marriage? And was Autumn available? Because goddammit, I wanted to know!!

I felt disappointment rush over me as Autumn moved away from me, breaking that intense gaze between us. I think I could happily stare into those big brown eyes for a lifetime. Get lost in them. Get lost in her…

But I had a feeling she did that to protect herself. She was worried about exposing her secrets, and I understood that. But, what I did not want was her being worried about getting closer to me. If it turned out this girl was available, I wanted her to know that being closer to me may not be so bad after all. No, I may not be the kind of guy the Anderson girls would be expected to settle down with, but I was not a bad guy.

I reached for her hand, unable to hide the trembling in my own. Seemed I was a lot more nervous than I realized. “Hey, come on, let us go for a walk.” I pulled her further away from the old house, toward the orchard where we used to play as children. Her eyes widened in surprise, but she did nothing to stop me, and followed.

“You know they will be wondering where we are.” She said, an edge of worry in her voice.

“They will be too busy drinking. Or comparing their expensive shit.” I told her, earning the most delightful little laugh. I think I would do anything to keep making her laugh. “And so what if they do wonder? Let them wonder. Give them something new to talk about.”

There was a heavy sigh before she began to speak, and even as she spoke her words were loaded. “Because they still think I am happily married, and a married woman running off with another man is somewhat of a scandal.” Autumn said, with a hint of irony in her voice, as she paused against one of the trees. I stopped to look at her.

I took in her beautiful face and I could see the internal battle she was fighting. Despite how terribly they could treat her, Autumn still worried about how her family thought of her. She did not want them to think badly of her. And she didn't want to disappoint them nor humiliate them. Something told me that whatever was going on within her marriage was not something she had shared with her family. I could only imagine their views on a failed marriage…

“You are separated?” I asked, desperately curious now.

She nodded, looking at me with a sad smile. “My parents thought he was wonderful when they introduced him. He well and truly met their approval. That should have been a red flag in itself, shouldn’t it?” she spoke softly, and the expression upon her face told me it was like she was admitting this all to herself as well as to me. I could only assume this was not something she spoke of often.

Something in her eyes told me she did not expect an answer to her question. She looked deep in thought as she continued to talk. “But, I was a fool, I fell for his lines. His sweet-talking. His handsomeness and even worse, all of his charm. Sadly, that did not stay all too long. And, the perfect marriage I had hoped for was nothing but a far-fetched dream. I waited… hoping things would improve. Don't get me wrong, occasionally they were good. In front of others they were wonderful, of course. But in the end, I decided staying with a man who did not respect me was not worth the pain. And, ultimately, I had to admit to myself that I deserved better than being cheated on.” She said, looking away from me; and while she tried to hide the hurt, I could still see the pain within her eyes. It sounded like this husband of hers had treated her as badly as her family.

What sort of fool would treat her badly? Let alone cheat on her? I did not know what to say. It sounded like she had been fooled by a false dream, likely trying to live up to everything her Mum and Dad wanted her to be. But, knowing what her mother and father were like, I don’t think there was any way to live up to everything they wanted. Not for Autumn anyway. I hated the fact she had been through so much. And had nobody to turn to for support, when her marriage fell apart. That is when you needed your family…

I moved toward her, unsure what the hell I was doing, but acting on instinct, I went to wrap my arm around her, needing to offer some reassurance… some support… “You do deserve better than that Autumn. So much more.” I found myself whispering. My heart pounded as her eyes met mine, and right now I wanted nothing more but to kiss her… would that be crazy?