Demons

Chapter Four

Lauren opens the door, dressed in her Kim Possible pj’s, yawning, stretching then smiling. “Hey,” She says, yawning again.

I smile, dropping my bag and hugging her all in a rush. “I left, Laurie.” and tears stream down my face on their own account.

“Oh my God, I’m so happy for you,” She says in my ear as she lets go. “He won’t touch you anymore. Oh, I’m so happy for you, Dawn!” She grabs me in another hug. Finally letting me go, she smiles. “Come in, please, put your stuff in my room.” I take off my shoes, holding them in my hand.

She turns around to tell me what room it is when I say, “I remember,” I slowly walk up the stairs, sadness overwhelms me as I think about my dad and then unsteady tears stream down my face. Should I have really left him? He was only hitting me because he was mad and drunk. If he weren’t drunk he wouldn’t have hit me, right? I sigh, there I go with that ‘daddy beats me because he loves me’ bit again. Finally, I reach the top of the stairs and smile, wiping the tears away. I’m free now.

The soft cream carpet underneath my feet reminds me of fresh grass, and for a second after I reach the last step, I just stand there, letting my feet make an imprint before going to her room.  As soon as I walk in, I see the bright green walls, purple flowers painted on them, and dark navy blue carpet.

Her open closet, practically bursting with color, flowery spring dresses, cowboy boots, Uggs, jeans that are every color of the rainbow. All of her purses hang on a rack beside her bed, and her jewelry is neatly placed on a rack beside her makeup counter. Her bed looks like a clone right out of an Interior Design magazine. Navy blue sheets that match the carpet perfectly, pillows that are green like the walls, and her comforter the violet color of the flowers painted on the wall. Compared to my room, this is heaven and everything above.

“Everything alright?” Lauren says casually leaning in the door frame.

“Yeah,” I say turning around. She frowns, obviously seeing my bloodshot eyes from crying, but ignores it on my behalf. “I just really love your room.”

“Dad just had it renovated,” She says nonchalantly, walking further into her room. She slides around the whole dad topic, knowing it would only make me sadder. So she distracts me from it instead. “You can put your stuff over there,” She says pointing to a corner by her bed. If I were at home, I wouldn’t have to worry about where to put my stuff...

“So, Laurie...” I say, trying to somehow take my mind off of what happened. “I can use your clothes right?”

“Why’d you even ask?” She criticizes taking out a flowing yellow dress that flares at the knees. “We’re the same size, right?”

“Size five?” I ask.

“Yep,” She says, coming over to me and holding the dress up. “This would go perfectly with your body type. Never looked good on me.” She practically throws it at me. “Keep it.” The thing is, I usually hate taking things from other people, but I like this dress. The yellow color of it and the flowing skirt, the lace trim around the waist, the thick straps that will perfectly cover my straight shoulders. Good thing I left a lot of room in my duffel.

“You have no idea how much I love you right now,” I say, taking the dress and spreading the biggest smile over my face. But it’s not because of the clothes, it’s because I can count on her, and because she took me in despite all of my problems.

“I’m just glad you’re here and not where you were before.” She says, finally setting foot on the dad topic. “Even though he’s your dad and you felt you had to take care of him, he had no right to do that to you. I just think about how much I hate him every time I see a new bruise on your face. You’re my best friend, Dawn, and I hate you for making me promise to never tell anyone about your dad.” I see something flicker inside her, something more than just hatred flashes in her eyes.

But I smile. “You’re my best friend too, Lauren, and I believe you made me promise not to tell your mom about that Science test, too.”

“That is totally different!” She says truthfully, all signs of darkness leaving. “I got a 62 on that test, worst grade of my life!”

“If you say so,” I comment, walking out just to peek my head back in. “Bathroom’s down the hall, right?”

“You got it!” She says, seemingly surprised I remembered.

“I’m just gonna make a call,” I nod, walking down the hall and into the bathroom. Cold tiled floor, very different from the warm plush carpet. Realizing I left my bag in the room that has my clothes, I go back down the hall, and hear Lauren’s voice. It’s that scared, I-don’t-know-what-to-do tone she has sometimes.

“No dad, she is staying,” She pauses. “What do you mean, bad influence? She’s a better influence than you.” I hear her turn the phone off, as I walk down the hall again, softly deciding to forget the bag. I’m just sad I caused Lauren trouble, I guess I’m staying even shorter than I thought. Turning on the shower, I start to slip off my pants, slide my shirt over my head and un-snap my bra. Placing everything in a neat pile, the water is finally hot enough to get in.  I step in and let the water race down my shoulders and my back. Water gets in my eyes, but I ignore it, too busy thinking about other things.

Lauren really is my best friend; standing up for me against her father is something I can never repay her for. I do still hate the fact that I am separating them even more so than they already are. I pick up a bar of soap and wet it, rubbing it all over my chest and up and down my arms. Ever since her mom and dad’s divorce she’s told me that she just doesn’t feel the same anymore, although she recently started buying more stuff, trying to get love that way instead of the natural. From a person. Her own father, made to hold her and love her and care for her. Instead, her dad is too busy taking every job he can away from his daughter that he doesn’t even realize she’s growing up and will be gone soon. And Lauren being an only child certainly doesn't help.

I realize that I’ve never even seen Lauren’s mom, not even a picture of her. Maybe her dad was mad like mine and decided to throw them all away. But I still wonder why she hasn’t visited, or why Lauren never talks about her. I dismiss the thought, and close my eyes, letting the water rinse down my face.

As the soap rinses off and down the drain, I repeat the process over and over until I forget the events that happened tonight. At least for a while. I step out of the shower, turn it off, and grab a towel, drying off. It seems like I’m taking everything in small steps. One step, then the other, and one more. That's all I need, a few steps. I tighten the towel around me, open the door, and walk down the hall to Lauren’s room. I see her just sitting there with her head in her hands, black hair spilling over her shoulders, the once bouncy curls she had, lost in all her sadness. I tighten the towel again and go to sit down next to her.

“Everything okay?” I ask setting a hand on her back, hopefully comforting.

She looks up. “Yeah, everything is perfectly fine.” She wipes her eyes.

“I’m not stupid, Lauren,” I say matter-of-factly. “I know what tears look like.”

She smiles and then sniffs. “It’s just my dad, ya know. I guess he just doesn’t understand.” I see Lauren and then something else catches my eye. A small black wisp coming out of her clothes. Sadness... it whispers itself in my mind. “This is ridiculous anyway. I should be the one comforting you.”

“Lauren come on, be happy. I’m here and we’re gonna have some fun before school tomorrow,” I say, and see the black tendrils shortening, but some are still there, barely visible.

“Yeah,” she says, standing up, wiping away some tears. “You want some mac and cheese?”

“My favorite,” I lie, because spaghetti is. “Actually, second favorite,” Then we laugh and all signs of darkness leave for the moment - but I have a feeling they’ll be back.

***

Waking up at five in the morning may not be good for everyone, but for me it’s relaxing, and one of the times I can convince myself I’m the only one in the world. Getting out of bed in the guestroom where Lauren moved me, I open my bag and take out shorts, deciding to leave my nightshirt on. Pulling up my shorts, I go downstairs after picking up my iPod, and get my converse. I put them on, lace them up and go to the front door, opening it. Standing at the front door, I just let the breeze run over me. Then I turn on my iPod and hit my favorite playlist for running. Paramore, Vampire Weekend and Adele. Taking my first stride, I hit the sidewalk and easily jog down the street. No one driving down the street, just the wind, the trees and me.

The wind makes me feel as light as a leaf and makes me want to drift in it just like they do. My arms easily swing back and forth and my calves don’t hurt or tighten up as I run today, even after the two mile mark. Stopping at a streetlight, I turn around and go back to Lauren’s house. The beat I’ve made is, one, two, one, two, one, two. I hear the leaves rustle in an unfamiliar way behind me as First Love plays by Adele. I turn around...but there’s nothing there. So, I keep going but a little faster, one two one two one two one two.

Another rustle and I go faster all the way to Lauren's house, onetwoonetwoonetwoonetwo. Almost out of breath, I reach Lauren’s front door. Red and inviting, more so than the run in a world where I feel alone, and someone else decides to come along.

Opening the door, I take off my - muddy once again - converse, and go up the stairs. Softly padding down the hall, I go to the bathroom - the cool air conditioned bathroom - slide off my clothes stepping into the shower and turn it on. The cold water feels good warming up on my skin. Running down my dark brown hair, and racing down the curves of my back. I close my eyes and imagine I’m standing near a waterfall and the water is spraying me, but when I open them I’m still here in the shower. Washing myself a few times, I rinse off and get out just as my iPod alarm rings for 6:30. I get a towel and wrap it around myself. Standing in front of the mirror, I rub clean a spot, that was fogged by steam. I see myself, my green eyes, my dark brown hair all tangled in a mess, my oval shaped face, and my thin nose. I guess I look regular, but the fog reforms over the mirror, and all ideas of normal clear my mind. I tighten the towel around myself and walk down the hall to Lauren’s room.

“Wake up, sleepyhead,” I say shaking her.

“What time is it?” She asks stretching, and then yawning.

“6:45,” I say nonchalantly.

Her eyes widen in shock. “Are you insane? I usually wake up at 7:30.”

I look at her incredulously. “Are you serious? An half an hour before school starts? Your hair looks like you spend at least that on it.”

I see her eyes flash to the black ring on her finger as she turns it. “It only take a few minutes to do that.” She explains. “Besides we only live like ten minutes away from school.”

“Guess I’m just used to waking up early to get away from my dad,” I say.

“No big deal, I’m up now so let’s just get going.” She says standing up. “Wear whatever you want.”

“Really?” I ask so happy.

“I think I said this yesterday, but yes,” She says walking out the room. It takes me until I hear the shower running for me to realize she is not kidding. So I go on a rage through her closet, but a clean rage. I take a yellow shirt out of her closet and find a satin skirt, high waisted that then flairs out. Putting on the yellow shirt, and sliding the skirt on over smoothly, I find a pair of lace black tights and put those on under. I find a long black cotton cardigan that almost reaches the bottom of the skirt and put it on. I find a yellow pair of combat boots just like Miley Cyrus’s on her movie and they match the shirt perfectly, so I put them on too. For once leaving my, go-with-everything, converse at home.

“Wow, nice outfit,” Lauren looks me up and down, and I turn around. “I like how you put them together.”

I smile. “And I don’t look like a bumble bee.” We both laugh out loud. “Good times,” I say. In 6th grade I was made fun of for my Halloween costume which was a bumble bee because the point at the end kept falling off. It really was sad, because some of those kids sure could use a good stingin’.

“Yeah, you don’t,” She says. “Now leave while I get dressed,”

“Alright, Ms. Snappy,” I say sarcastically as I walk out of the room, noticing her black ring and wondering why it never seems to come off of her thumb. Walking down the stairs, I am glad I planned ahead, and did my homework at school yesterday and didn’t have to bring any books home.

Lauren comes down the stairs with faded ripped jeans, a navy blue shirt under a gray cardigan and a black pair of Steve Madden combat boots.

“Nice outfit,” I say smiling.

“Well,” She says picking up her book bag from a nearby hook and slinging it over her shoulder. “You look like a model over there,” She says walking over.

I smile. I never tire of the compliments when I very rarely get them. “So do you, now let’s go to school before we’re early.” She gives me a weird look, but still picks up her keys and walks out to the car.

***

...Dawn looks hot today...

...Nice outfit...

...Are those the boots from the Hannah Montana movie?...

What am I hearing? Are these people’s thoughts, because that was Emily’s voice I heard and she was looking at my shoes? I look around. Sure, who doesn’t want to read people’s minds, or in my case, randomly hear others thoughts.

...I always did want her hair...

...Stupid Math Test I didn’t study for...

...I can’t believe he broke up with me the week before the dance...

“Hey, Dawn, you okay?” Lauren asks with a careful face.

“Yeah,” I say half-heartily. “Just... distracted.”

“Well, get focused,” She says looking straight forward. “Hottie alert,”

It’s him. The guy from yesterday, his blonde hair is falling over his left eye, and his face is so beautiful I would sing him a song, but instead I act like I don’t notice him. All the girls are gawking very noticeably. Their boyfriends are even wondering how he looks so good, and they put a protective arm around their girlfriend like he might take them away. He just walks down the hall like its empty instead of filled with girls that want to rape him right here right now. I smile very softly to myself because that was a good one, then I picture the girls jumping on him and I really start laughing. Everyone looks at me, and I stop, embarrassed.

...what a freak...

...why is she laughing...

...now he has a reason to look at her instead of me...

“What wrong with you?” Lauren says taking my arm. “Let’s get to Chem...” After that I don’t exactly hear her because, number one, I’m too busy being pulled down the hall. Number two, I’m thinking of why I’m going the opposite direction of my locker, and number three, I’m too busy thinking how it would feel for him to be pulling me down the hall.