Dear Brother

Dear doctor

"Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly." ~ Rose Franken

-

What the hell am I doing ? The s*x was great but ofcause I regret every bit of it. Something deep down inside my soul knows this is wrong not because Harry is a fuckboy but the fact that I'm just giving into him. I can't even think straight when he is around, this is definitely not how I imagined first time having s*x and my second s****l experience as well. You are playing him remember ?

Well that is now just an excuse to be with him all the time. Ofcause I want to f**k him over but I can't keep lose control and focus here. I need to get my s**t together.

"You seem distracted..." My dad snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Uhm no. What did you say ?" I shifted uncomfortable on my chair, we were having breakfast the flight was well, I don't even want to think about it. We went our separate ways as Harry went to his Father and Step mother's house. I had forgotten his situation...shit.

"She is not much of a talker." Zayn added shoving pancakes in his mouth.

"Zayn don't eat with your mouth open." My mom scolded.

"Swori, Thas is jost soooooooo good." He continued eating like an animal. It felt good to be home, i missed my mom's lavender fragrance.

"I missed you guys." I smiled looking at my plate.

"We missed you too baby." My parents both cooed.

"Your brunette roots are starting to out grow your blonde hair, maybe I should do your hair." My mom suggested as she sipped on her orange juice, i hadn't even realised it.

"Jost go bwack to black." Zayn rambled.

"Close your mouth Zayn." I frowned losing my appetite.

It's not about Zayn it's about Styles.

"You have barely touched your pancakes ?" My dad asked gesturing his fork at my plate.

"I'm just not feeling well right now." I didn't exactly lie, it was the truth. I had unprotected s*x and I was freaking out.

I can't have a baby right now. You can't have a baby. No we can't have a baby.

My subconscious yelled in my head making me even more conscious.

"Oh what's wrong ? Maybe it's the jet fatigue." My mom laid her hand on my forehead.

"Just go lie down for a bit." My dad suggested.

"Uhm no actually let me just go for a walk and maybe it will go away." I said standing up from the kitchen island.

"That's a good idea." My mom smiled giving me a peck on the forehead. "I'm just glad you are home, i missed you.

"Hey ! what about me." Zayn frowned.

"You too Zaynie." My mom cooed making Zayn cringe.

I went upstairs to freshen up so I could sort this out- this as in this this. I wore a pair of skinny jeans and a black t-shirt with vans. I bid my goodbye to my mom and dad as they continuously told me to be careful like I was a kid. Oh right you are now a women since you get f****d and all.

I felt horrible, as I checked the mail...I saw an advert for baby diapers making the feeling sink in. As I passed my neighbors house 'The Waltons' an old sweet couple, as I was a loner during high school I always hang out with them especially when Zayn's friends were at the house. They were always so fond of me and I was too.

After walking a few blocks to the bus stop since I left my car back in New York, a black sleek car drove past me. The windows rolled down revealing Harry make me feel worse. "I was just coming down to your house." He had this smile on his face.

"Well Zayn is there so go ahead." I continued walking.

"Hey, Zaneh get in the car." He gestured for me to go to the other side and I did.

"I booked you a doctor's appointment." He said as I closed the door.

"Uhm yeah that's where I was going right now." I curtly replied playing with my hands not looking at him but I knew he was looking at me.

"I'm sorry I was so reckless-" He ran his fingers through his locks. He looked so good looking in his full on black outfit. he always looks good. "It's just when I'm with you, i can't control myself and-"

"It's okay Harry, it's not like I was protesting against it." I muttered feeling my cheeks turning beetroot red.

"So we are both to blame." I explained the awkward situation.

"Right." He chuckled nervously.

"Right, so when is the appointment." I asked feeling the least cheerful.

"Actually in 30 minutes." He replied turning on the ignition and stepping on the brakes making me hold my heart in my hands.

"Calm down." I yelped.

"It's cool, I got this babe." He smirked.

"It's not you I'm worried about trust me." I rolled my eyes.

"Right." He said speeding down the road, i knew there was a smile tugged on his lips even though he wasn't looking at me. Keeping his eyes on the road.

-

In about an hour, we were now sitting in the waiting room waiting for the Doctor to call me in. Honestly this felt weird him being here with me, i didn't know he cared that much. Duh he doesn't want a baby at this age !

"Ms. Malik you may head in." The receptionist summoned.

"Can I uh come in with you ?" Harry stood tall towering me with his height.

"No." I curtly replied. "I mean we will be talking about you know gross stuff like periods and you know..girl stuff." I explained neatly putting a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Don't be ridiculous Zaneh, this isn't fifth grade. I know and I want to be there." He said a hint of amusement and sarcasm in his eyes making my insides melt.

what no no i***t.

I decided not to argue further with him, i went the office. The doctor was in his old age but he seemed sweet.

"Harry ?" The man grey hair asked in a surprised manor. "Styles, Harry Styles ?" The man chuckled.

"In the flesh." Harry smirked. I was surprised that they knew each other. They hugged and I just stood there all awkward.

No s**t sherlock he brings girls here all the time.

"And who is this beautiful lady." He opened his arms wide gesturing for a hug and I did. He was nice, so this won't be so bad. "This is Zaneh, My- " He paused. "You know Zayn ?" The old man nodded. "Well this is his twin sister."

Wow what a introduction.

"Nice to meet you-" i paused.

"Doctor Henderson but call me Daniel or Danny like Harry." He had a sincere smile. Harry and I took our seats beside each other while he was on the other side of the desk.

"So how can I be of help ?" He questioned.

"Uhm i need contraceptives." I mumbled looking embarrassed.

"And morning pills." Harry added, he seemed so carefree.

"Okay. Uhm so I will write you a subscription then you can go to the nearest drug store and collect..."

"Are you both over eighteen ?" He abruptly asked.

"I'm twenty and she is nineteen so we are both cool." Harry shrugged but how did he know my age. Zayn's age equals to your age.

"Good enough. Do you want to test for-"

"No." Harry and I said in Unison. "I mean we trust each other." Harry added when Mr.- i mean Daniel furrowed his eyebrows.

"Very well." He continued scribbling on the form.

"So I will just explain how these work, i assume you have been both using condoms ?" He asked making me squirm in my seat.

"Uh yes." Harry replied in a laud back tone.

"So contraceptives is one of the artificial methods of preventing pregnancy as a consequence of s****l intercourse. But it doesn't protect you from s****l Transmitted diseases that's why I advised testing but since you both trust each other that's okay. The contraceptive pill contains synthetic s*x hormones that prevent ovulation in a female." He explained calmly as if he knew this by head. He abruptly ripped a paper out of his book which I recognised as a receipt for the drug store.

"Thank you." I briefly smiled.

"Always a Pleasure be safe." He winked.

"Always." Harry winked right back at him.

"Well atleast that didn't take long." I said in a low tone.

"Now let's get you those pills love." Harry surprised me by putting his hands around my waist as we walked continuously kissing my neck making new have butterflies from the amount of people in the reception area who were eyeing us.

-

After getting lost a couple of times in the mall, we finally found the drug store. There was no huge line at the till which I was thankful for. We gave the the transcription from Doctor. Henderson...within ten minutes Harry was paying. He has been f*****g you so he might as well pay...

I was reading the instructions for the morning pill as we walked to Harry's car only realising it was almost four pm. You spent almost half of the day with Harry.

"Just drink it, then we will rest assured." He smirked handing me a bottle of mineral water.

"No I need to know what exactly I'm putting in my body." I snapped at him making him raise his hands.

"Just trying to help." He smiled. I sweat his smile is contagious.

"Okay so It says works within 24 hours right and you-" i blushed at the thought.

"We f****d 18 hours ago." He grimaced. "Now take the pills love." He casually said handing me the bottle. I gulped down the two little orange pills but I felt like I will only be assured when my period arrives.

"There you go." He grinned.

"Harry stop treating me like a child." I leaned against the hood of his car and he stepped close. Lowering down to my lips, i knew he was going to kiss me and I wasn't going to stop him. He's warm breath fanned my face as he slid a loose strand of my blonde hair behind my ear. My breath hitched as he's green eyes looked at my own hazel brown, i wish I knew what he was thinking about.

"Harold ?" We both looked to where the voice was coming from. "I didn't know you here I thought you rest after long flight." She said in what sounded like a Russian or German accent. She was carrying alot of shopping bags and hers shades on top of her head. Honestly she looked like a model with her natural blonde hair.

"Uh Vera hi." Harry didn't seem pleased.

Who is she ? probably one of his many hook ups.

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