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"Okay, calm down Elsie. It's just a date, a normal date. Yes, there is no need to be nervous," I said to myself while looking in the mirror. I guess prep talk is necessary for my situation. Things are escalating really fast for my human mind. I feel like I'm in a dream. I feel like a third party, watching everything play out. My mind is all jumbled up with thoughts. I'm confused. Afraid. Nervous. And there is a lingering fear in my body that is warning me to slow down. I don't wanna hurt myself. I know I promised that I wouldn't expect anything but knowing that I'm their mate has f****d that all up. Unconsciously I started to demand more. I feel greedy and unworthy of them. Do I really deserve this happiness? Deserve to be with them? Frustrated tears build up in my eyes, threatening t