The small group of first-time Shifters squirm anxiously in front of me. “H-How badly does it hurt?” one asks just above a whisper, not wanting his weakness to be overheard by too many.
I’ve always found brutal honesty to be strangely comforting. “It hurts a lot. But it’ll be worth every second of pain to meet your Wolf,” I reply, flashing a comforting smile. A couple of the first-timers shuffle uncomfortably; a couple take solace in my words.
“Don’t worry, we’ll all have fun,” Finna encourages, swaying gently with her hands clasped across her lap.
The full moon bursts through the clouds, bathing our naked bodies in its inescapable light. The first-timers double over in pain, writhing in agony as they fight to breathe. I, however, am now immune to such discomfort. Hot tingles erupt across my flesh as my autumn-colored fur sprouts quickly; my bones crack and pop like stiff knuckles as they reshape themselves; my heart pounds a steady rhythm of passion and excitement, my rushing blood pressing against the folds of my skin.
I breathe in, and it’s like I can finally see again. Being trapped in my human body is suffocating; it’s like I can’t sense anything – smells and sounds are so dull, I run out of breath so quickly, the winter night feels cold. As a human, I’m so disconnected from the world – but now I can find sweet release as a wild wolf.
Clouds of breath pant from my open mouth, and the cold grasp of winter feels refreshing against my thick fur. I approach the first-time Shifters as they finally wobble to their paws and check their reflections.
They’re so beautiful. Pride floods my chest as they yip excitedly to each other.
Finna stalks up alongside me, and I jolt at her sheer size. Her Wolf is as tall as Donnacha’s, but far more muscular. Her blue eyes shimmer against her shaggy, sandy coat; but there’s no friendliness in her gaze. There’s only cold savagery. Long, jagged scars weave a wicked tapestry across her back, and her lips are curled in a scarcely contained snarl.
One name jumps to mind – a warning from Saoradh.
“Its name is Fearg!”
Fearg. Rage.
I can’t help but recoil; even Saoradh feels the power and anger radiating off this untamed Spirit. But Fearg turns to us, and a flicker of Finna’s humanity finds its way through those chilling eyes.
As scared as I feel, I know I’m safe. Finna’s Wolf won’t hurt us.
How did a sweet girl like her end up with a Wolf like Rage? I wonder, my gaze settling on her deforming scars.
“I told you I wasn’t Rage,” Saoradh teases dryly.
One of the new Shifters turns to me and whines excitedly, her clawed paws dancing on the dirt as she tip-tap-tip-taps impatiently. My tongue lolls in laughter and I lead them on their first Full Moon Hunt.
As soon as we run at full speed through the forests, a walnut-hued werewolf sprints up to us, his gold eyes flashing with mischief. I grin and nip at my best friend’s heels as the trees fly past us. One of the new shifters behind us trips and falls on his new lupine legs, and I burst out in wolfish cackles.
Our tone turns less jovial and more serious when we close in on a herd of wild deer. We creep amongst the foliage, our bristled fur hiding between the ferns, our glowing eyes eclipsed by shadow. Several strong bucks stand proudly, their hooked tines glinting in the full moon. Even from where I crouch, I can see how his muscles ripple beneath his glossy coat. I lick my lips in anticipation.
Tadgh’s wolf, Cosantóir, meets my gaze for a fleeting moment as we stalk closer to our prey. It’s unlikely we’ll catch anything, since the young werewolves are too inexperienced to kill a buck on their first hunt. But it’s the sheer thrill that gets our blood pumping, not the promise of fresh meat.
Wait…something’s wrong. I sniff the air delicately, and the unmistakable odors of musk and pungent malice overwhelm me.
“Outsiders. Not of the pack,” comes Saoradh’s warning, imprinting on my consciousness like a smoldering brand.
Cosantóir growls, a low thundering in his throat. The deer scatter, and the new shifters crowd behind me. Fearg steps forward, her hackles raised and her mouth frothing – dear Mother, she looks like a demon!
A party of wolves reveal themselves from the shadows, their glowing eyes full of bloodlust. They must be from a neighboring pack, here to challenge our strength during the Full Moon Hunt. The new shifters behind me whimper anxiously. They should be afraid – these confrontations always end in blood…and sometimes death.
I bare my fangs and snarl; no one dies tonight. I’ll make sure of it!
The head werewolf, a black specter with wintry eyes, howls into the night, his voice a bone-chilling melody of war. His pack mates lunge at us, and I fly into the air to meet them head-on. I won’t let them spill innocent blood!
I collide with a dusty gray werewolf, and we tumble to the earth. My claws rake her shoulder, my fangs sink into her neck – she plants her paws on my underbelly and thrashes until I’m bucked off. She leaps at me, but I’m smaller and swifter, so I dodge and clasp my teeth around her tail – a high-pitched whine cuts through the skirmish, and my jowls pull back in a dark grin. I tug hard, digging my claws into the dirt as she desperately tries to pull me off her tail. Her flesh rips between my jaws as feral growls tumble from my maw.
She rips herself free of me, I stagger, and she strikes. Her fangs sink into my neck—
My blood burns with white-hot agony, and I howl desperately for help. She’s doing something to me – something’s wrong! Saoradh can’t stop howling, I can’t stop shrieking – what’s happening?! My blood churns and curdles, my flesh shrivels up, my fur falls off. My bones shatter and remold themselves, my lungs shrink down.
My howl devolves into raspy screams. I can barely hear myself as I sob uncontrollably from the anguish. My attacker pulls away, and I catch a glimpse of her fangs. Silver prosthetics. Liquid oozes from them.
I try to lift my head, but I’m frozen. Saoradh is silent. I plant my paw in the ground to try and stand—
It’s not a paw anymore. It’s a naked, pale hand.
I’ve been forced back into a human.
The werewolf grins as horror chains itself around my limbs. Her silver fangs must be loaded with wolfsbane. It’s coursing through my veins, stabbing my insides with every cursed heartbeat. My stomach is ensnarled in pain, bile bubbles in my throat.
Fuck. f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k!
More screams assault me. I try to look around – no, no, no! Tadgh lays lifelessly on the ground, fully human. Finna desperately tries to stand on her human legs, but the pain traps her to the forest floor.
We’re all human.
The werewolf who poisoned me wraps her jaws around my neck and picks me up – I scream as blood trickles down my neck, I try to claw at her, but I’m dragged away, my toes scraping the ground as I’m hauled off.
Where is she taking me? I can’t keep my eyes open anymore – this can’t be happening! This…this can’t be…
…I’m so tired…