Helios Oracles

Chapter 9: Where Have You Been?

I walk the beach for a half hour, finally heading into the city. It's all the time I can risk being away from the sanctuary. Any second now, my grandmother could come looking for me and after finally agreeing to further my relationship with Piers, I can't have her interfering.

My sandals slap on the pavement as I duck into an alley and risk riding the fire. I have to try it, can't believe the flames will turn on me after all this time. Terror rises despite my attempt at reassurance, though when I reach for the flame with hesitant power, it welcomes me like it always does and carries me without incident to the entry portal at the sanctuary.

I stand there in the cool of the underground for a long moment, shaking and sending gratitude to Gaia. Surely if she wanted to punish me, if my questioning and rebellion against what I've been taught were against my Goddess, she would have taken this time to devour me completely. The fact I stand here in the quiet of the sanctuary tells me my fears were just that.

At least, that's what I'm choosing to believe for the moment.

"Zoe." I look up with a soft gasp, into angry, pale amber eyes. Liander's thin mouth frowns at me, slicked back hair from his sharp widow's peak shining with gel in the light. The portal room is a fair size, but it feels tiny with him standing there, staring at me with anger in his gaze.

"Liander." I dip a quick bow of my head. "Excuse me."

His hand snaps out, grabs my elbow as I try to slip past him. He's barely my height, dressed in a pinstriped suit and bright red tie, but he feels like a poser, someone to whom appearances are everything. I have an irrational thought his height must give him a complex when he shakes me with his hand and his power.

"You were to meet me in your grandmother's chambers last night." His fingers tighten further, grinding the bones of my elbow enough a soft cry escapes me. "Where have you been?"

How could I have forgotten? And it's not like him to fail to remind me of my transgressions loudly and with contempt.

I do my best to appear contrite. "Forgive me," I say, bowing my head again, assuming my submissive role though I hate myself for giving in so easily. "The oversight wasn't intentional."

I keep my eyes firmly on the tips of his shiny dress shoes, the seconds ticking by. I almost look up just to see his expression when he speaks.

"You've been absent minded and rebellious to orders of late," he says, turning and pulling me along with him. "Perhaps it's time we curtailed your freedom in order to remind you just how generous we've been."

My stomach clenches as I hurry along beside him, feeling a wash of his anger sizzle against me. There's nothing I can say in response. Experience has taught me I'm better off pleading my case to Sibyl.

He falls silent as well, though his temper only seems to grow in heat as he stomps his way past a few of my cousins who stare a moment before averting their eyes. What are they afraid of? That same rebellion Liander accused me of a moment ago wakes in a rush and begs to push back against him, clearly showing me his weakness. How pitiful his power compared to mine. How sad and pathetic this little tantrum of his. I remember being terrified of the sorcery he commanded when I was a little girl. But this man beside me feels more petulant and bitter than formidable.

By the time he slams open my grandmother's ornately carved wooden door and shoves me inside her equally elaborate quarters, my anger is crackling inside me and ready to explode.

"Zoe." Sibyl rises from her chair, a heavy, throne-like seat near her fireplace. Her rooms are grand, the ceilings towering, antique furniture and a colorful Persian rug making it feel like ancient Greece. She's no exception, her coil of gray hair falling from its usual knot to hang almost to her feet, brushing against the hem of her gold-belted white robe. Though most of us have adopted more trendy apparel, my grandmother clings yet to the old country. Even her soft accent makes her feel like a true child of Delphi and always arouses awe in me.

"Grandmother." I ignore Liander's lingering anger and step to her side, kissing both of her cheeks. Her lips are as cold and dry as always, hands too as they gently grip my shoulders.

"You failed to come to us last night." There is no accusation in her face or voice, but I am well aware she is a master of guilt. This time, I accept my subtle punishment and nod.

"As I told him," I say, still not looking at her sorcerer mate, "I am truly sorry. It won't happen again."

"Of course it won't." She rewards me with a cool smile before raising an eyebrow to Liander who fumes as he pours himself a large goblet of dark wine. "It's just concerning when you fail to obey, Zoe. It worries me."

More than ever, I feel like a prisoner here. There have been times I've wriggled against her controls, but never before have I experienced this powerful surge of nervousness, like I'm in a cage I will never escape, my wings clipped.

"What did you want to see me about?" Better to change the subject and get to the point. The quicker I escape the better.

Liander's fist slams down on the table, the decanter of wine jumping under the blow. "First you will tell us where you've been."

It's hard not to show contempt, but I know doing so will only make things worse. They can't know my feelings have shifted. I focus on Sibyl who, at least, I respect. "Am I no longer allowed to come and go, Grandmother? Am I to consider myself chained to the sanctuary?"

Irritation flickers over her face. "Of course not, Zoe," she says, the smoothness leaving her voice, words taking on a bite. "But you have responsibilities, and I've been observing a rise in disobedience from you."

I am that obvious. "I like walking the distant halls," I say, telling at least enough of the truth she won't suspect there is more to it. "The center of the sanctuary is my home, but there are times the visions are too much and I need to breathe." Also true, though the extended network of maze-like halls and corridors of the underground city, long abandoned by whomever created it, no longer offer me the true escape I need. Though Sibyl would never understand that. When was the last time she even left the core?

She comes to me in a rush, embracing me with a sympathetic sigh. "My dear," she says. "You only need to tell me. I can help you adapt as the visions become stronger." She smiles, though it feels plastic to me in my present state of mind and I suddenly feel she only cares for the things I see, not for me. Ridiculous, of course. She's taken personal responsibility for me since my mother died and I'm grateful for her love and attention.

I nod, smile back though I don't feel like it. "I know, thank you."

She releases me, patting my cheek with cold finger tips. "I hope your head has been sufficiently cleared by your time above," she says, turning away from me to retake her seat. "Tonight, we do a seeking, and I want you to lead it."

I bow my head to her and don't comment. It used to be her job to lead vision seekings, but she's been placing me in that role for the last few months. I've begun to wonder if she's grooming me to take her place, though I can't see Sibyl ever relinquishing her role as our leader.

"My honor," I say. And then my traitor mind blurts a question. "Is this seeking for ourselves or clients?" Sibyl's brow furrows as I rush on. "Grandmother, I don't mean to question your leadership. But there are times I wonder at our loss of purpose."

Something hits me from behind, sending me staggering forward. I turn when I retain my balance to find Liander standing behind me, one fist raised, the same one he just struck me with between the shoulders.

"Your purpose," he snarls at me while I stare at him in shock, "is to serve the Light." He thumps his chest with that same fist. "Through me." So much rage and frustration in him, it oozes out like pus from a wound. My rebellious snap is gone in the face of his fury. He's never struck me before, and when I turn to meet my grandmother's eyes, I know I'll find no protector in her. She stares down her nose at me, cold and judging.

"Liander might be right," she says. "I may give you too much latitude, too much responsibility."

I shiver as I stand there, silent and contrite. I just want this to be over. And then what, Zoe Helios? What will you do? I don't have an answer to that question as my grandmother speaks again.

"You've disappointed us, Zoe," she says. "See to it that never happens again."

I bow a hasty retreat, dodging Liander and spinning to run out the door, not caring it's obvious I'm fleeing out of upset. Let them know they've hurt me, made me fear again.

They've only strengthened my resolve to find out the truth.

***