My Hometown Love

Chapter 9 - Dearest Lexie

Dearest Lexie, 

The reason you are holding this letter in your hand is because I am a sucker for handwritten letters. I believe that it’s the best way to put your personal heartfelt emotions into writing. And also it’s the best way to reach you since I know you wouldn’t want to meet me, speak to me or read my texts. 

First and foremost, I want to apologize for what happened yesterday. I feel so bad for the way you were treated and I wish I had stood up for you. Especially since I know what Liliana was capable of. 

I also know that you wouldn’t have been in that position if I hadn’t had invited you for coffee at that cafe and more importantly if I hadn’t made a stupid mistake 6 years ago. 

Yes, I am aware of what happened at your graduation dance and I will spend the rest of my life regretting how I acted that day. 

Well, if you are still reading up till this point and haven’t crumpled up this letter and thrown it in the trash, I want to say thank you and I appreciate your patience in taking the time to read what I have to say. 

To continue, I have always had a soft spot for you Lexie, and not just because you were Jake’s younger sister. You impressed me in so many different ways and I respected you so much. But deep down I always knew my influence was no good for you. 

I am sure you’re aware of my reputation back then and how much of a jerk I was. I regret who I was back in high school and I assure you that I am not that same person anymore. Just ask your brother, he has seen me over all these years and he can tell you that I am not that guy anymore.

When we met at the Pet Store after I left school, I felt that you saw me for me and not the jerk that I was. Then I saw you at your dance, beaming with joy and confidence as you twirled around having the night of your life. But then, I had to go and destroy all that in just under a minute. 

I remember that day vividly as I have replayed that day in my mind so many times. I shouldn’t have let my personal emotions ruin you. I was going through a tough personal problem and in that anger, I shouted and said things that I didn’t mean at all. I don’t know where they came from but I sincerely didn’t mean a word I said. My mind was clouded with anger that it affected my actions badly. Maybe one day I can share with you in detail what exactly happened if you’d like to know. 

Anyway, I rushed home in anger directly after that to deal with my household problem and I left town that night with my Mom and my sister. I returned two weeks later after the problem was resolved and I came by your house to apologize. That’s when your brother said that you left for Seattle and how you were so bummed since the dance and moving to Seattle to study made you so happy and excited. 

I didn’t want to bring back the gloom since you were so excited about this new chapter in your life. So I kept quiet and promised myself I will apologize to you the next time I saw you again. That next time became months and years till over a week ago. Honestly, I always wanted to reach out and apologize through text or mail or just something, but to be frank, I was a coward. I didn’t know how to, so I put it off on the pretense that I will do it face-to-face when I see you next. Looks like I’m still that coward hiding behind a letter, apologizing to you. 

Anyhow, I was so excited when Jake told me you were coming to town. Jake has been keeping me up to date all about you because he is so proud of you and so am I. I hadn’t seen you in ages but I had this urge to show you all that I have been up to and make you proud of me. But the way your bright face dropped the minute you saw me, told me that you hadn’t forgiven me and that the sight of me still hurt you. I felt helpless, I didn’t know how to approach this tactfully. 

I wanted to get closer to you and slowly open up about my apology but you kept pushing me away which was totally understandable. But as time flew by, we were slowly connecting again. That when I decided it was time to formally apologize, which was what I wanted to do over coffee at the cafe. But unfortunately, things all went bad. 

Therefore, I, Kevin Walker would like to formally apologize for the hurt and embarrassment I have caused you over all these years. I know what I did is not easily forgivable but I promise to make it up to you for as long as it takes to earn your full forgiveness. 

I hope you will think about all I have said and maybe meet me one day so we can properly talk through all this over face-to-face. I want to put this all behind us and I would really love it if we could be friends Lexie. 

Thanks for reading this letter. Also thank Priya for helping me get this letter to you. I hope you don’t go too hard on her for helping me. I looked pretty desperate to get your attention and she took pity on me. 

Till we meet again,

Kevin. 

P.S. Sorry about the bad handwriting.