Scenes of Clerical Life

Chapter 5

The Rev. Amos Barton, whose sad fortunes I have undertaken to relate,

was, you perceive, in no respect an ideal or exceptional character; and

perhaps I am doing a bold thing to bespeak your sympathy on behalf of a

man who was so very far from remarkable,--a man whose virtues were not

heroic, and who had no undetected crime within his breast; who had not

the slightest mystery hanging about him, but was palpably and

unmistakably commonplace; who was not even in love, but had had that

complaint favourably many years ago. 'An utterly uninteresting

character!' I think I hear a lady reader exclaim--Mrs. Farthingale, for

example, who prefers the ideal in fiction; to whom tragedy means ermine

tippets, adultery, and murder; and comedy, the adventures of some

personage who is quite a 'character'.

But, my dear madam, it is so very large a majority of your

fellow-countrymen that are of this insignificant stamp. At least eighty

out of a hundred of your adult male fellow-Britons returned in the last

census are neither extraordinarily silly, nor extraordinarily wicked, nor

extraordinarily wise; their eyes are neither deep and liquid with

sentiment, nor sparkling with suppressed witticisms; they have probably

had no hairbreadth escapes or thrilling adventures; their brains are

certainly not pregnant with genius, and their passions have not

manifested themselves at all after the fashion of a volcano. They are

simply men of complexions more or less muddy, whose conversation is more

or less bald and disjointed. Yet these commonplace people--many of

them--bear a conscience, and have felt the sublime prompting to do the

painful right; they have their unspoken sorrows, and their sacred joys;

their hearts have perhaps gone out towards their first-born, and they

have mourned over the irreclaimable dead. Nay, is there not a pathos in

their very insignificance--in our comparison of their dim and narrow

existence with the glorious possibilities of that human nature which they

share?

Depend upon it, you would gain unspeakably if you would learn with me to

see some of the poetry and the pathos, the tragedy and the comedy, lying

in the experience of a human soul that looks out through dull grey eyes,

and that speaks in a voice of quite ordinary tones. In that case, I

should have no fear of your not caring to know what farther befell the

Rev. Amos Barton, or of your thinking the homely details I have to tell

at all beneath your attention. As it is, you can, if you please, decline

to pursue my story farther; and you will easily find reading more to your

taste, since I learn from the newspapers that many remarkable novels,

full of striking situations, thrilling incidents, and eloquent writing,

have appeared only within the last season.

Meanwhile, readers who have begun to feel an interest in the Rev. Amos

Barton and his wife, will be glad to learn that Mr. Oldinport lent the

twenty pounds. But twenty pounds are soon exhausted when twelve are due

as back p*****t to the butcher, and when the possession of eight extra

sovereigns in February weather is an irresistible temptation to order a

new greatcoat. And though Mr. Bridmain so far departed from the necessary

economy entailed on him by the Countess's elegant toilette and expensive

maid, as to choose a handsome black silk, stiff, as his experienced eye

discerned, with the genuine strength of its own texture, and not with the

factitious strength of gum, and present it to Mrs. Barton, in retrieval

of the accident that had occurred at his table, yet, dear me--as every

husband has heard--what is the present of a gown when you are deficiently

furnished with the et-ceteras of apparel, and when, moreover, there are

six children whose wear and tear of clothes is something incredible to

the non-maternal mind?

Indeed, the equation of income and expenditure was offering new and

constantly accumulating difficulties to Mr. and Mrs. Barton; for shortly

after the birth of little Walter, Milly's aunt, who had lived with her

ever since her marriage, had withdrawn herself, her furniture, and her

yearly income, to the household of another niece; prompted to that step,

very probably, by a slight 'tiff' with the Rev. Amos, which occurred

while Milly was upstairs, and proved one too many for the elderly lady's

patience and magnanimity. Mr. Barton's temper was a little warm, but, on

the other hand, elderly maiden ladies are known to be susceptible; so we

will not suppose that all the blame lay on his side--the less so, as he

had every motive for humouring an inmate whose presence kept the wolf

from the door. It was now nearly a year since Miss Jackson's departure,

and, to a fine ear, the howl of the wolf was audibly approaching.

It was a sad thing, too, that when the last snow had melted, when the

purple and yellow crocuses were coming up in the garden, and the old

church was already half pulled down, Milly had an illness which made her

lips look pale, and rendered it absolutely necessary that she should not

exert herself for some time. Mr. Brand, the Shepperton doctor so

obnoxious to Mr. Pilgrim, ordered her to drink port-wine, and it was

quite necessary to have a charwoman very often, to assist Nanny in all

the extra work that fell upon her.

Mrs. Hackit, who hardly ever paid a visit to any one but her oldest and

nearest neighbour, Mrs. Patten, now took the unusual step of calling at

the vicarage one morning; and the tears came into her unsentimental eyes

as she saw Milly seated pale and feeble in the parlour, unable to

persevere in sewing the pinafore that lay on the table beside her. Little

Dickey, a boisterous boy of five, with large pink cheeks and sturdy legs,

was having his turn to sit with Mamma, and was squatting quiet as a mouse

at her knee, holding her soft white hand between his little red

black-nailed fists. He was a boy whom Mrs. Hackit, in a severe mood, had

pronounced 'stocky' (a word that etymologically in all probability,

conveys some allusion to an instrument of punishment for the refractory);

but seeing him thus subdued into goodness, she smiled at him with her

kindest smile, and stooping down, suggested a kiss--a favour which Dicky

resolutely declined.

'Now _do_ you take nourishing things enough?' was one of Mrs. Hackit's

first questions, and Milly endeavoured to make it appear that no woman

was ever so much in danger of being over-fed and led into self-indulgent

habits as herself. But Mrs. Hackit gathered one fact from her replies,

namely, that Mr. Brand had ordered port-wine.

While this conversation was going forward, Dickey had been furtively

stroking and kissing the soft white hand; so that at last, when a pause

came, his mother said, smilingly, 'Why are you kissing my hand, Dickey?'

'It id to yovely,' answered Dickey, who, you observe, was decidedly

backward in his pronunciation.

Mrs. Hackit remembered this little scene in after days, and thought with

peculiar tenderness and pity of the 'stocky boy'.

The next day there came a hamper with Mrs. Hackit's respects; and on

being opened it was found to contain half-a-dozen of port-wine and two

couples of fowls. Mrs. Farquhar, too, was very kind; insisted on Mrs.

Barton's rejecting all arrowroot but hers, which was genuine Indian, and

carried away Sophy and Fred to stay with her a fortnight. These and other

good-natured attentions made the trouble of Milly's illness more

bearable; but they could not prevent it from swelling expenses, and Mr.

Barton began to have serious thoughts of representing his case to a

certain charity for the relief of needy curates.

Altogether, as matters stood in Shepperton, the parishioners were more

likely to have a strong sense that the clergyman needed their material

aid, than that they needed his spiritual aid,--not the best state of

things in this age and country, where faith in men solely on the ground

of their spiritual gifts has considerably diminished, and especially

unfavourable to the influence of the Rev. Amos, whose spiritual gifts

would not have had a very commanding power even in an age of faith.

But, you ask, did not the Countess Czerlaski pay any attention to her

friends all this time? To be sure she did. She was indefatigable in

visiting her 'sweet Milly', and sitting with her for hours together. It

may seem remarkable to you that she neither thought of taking away any of

the children, nor of providing for any of Milly's probable wants; but

ladies of rank and of luxurious habits, you know, cannot be expected to

surmise the details of poverty. She put a great deal of eau-de-Cologne on

Mrs. Barton's pocket-handkerchief, rearranged her pillow and footstool,

kissed her cheeks, wrapped her in a soft warm shawl from her own

shoulders, and amused her with stories of the life she had seen abroad.

When Mr. Barton joined them she talked of Tractarianism, of her

determination not to re-enter the vortex of fashionable life, and of her

anxiety to see him in a sphere large enough for his talents. Milly

thought her sprightliness and affectionate warmth quite charming, and was

very fond of her; while the Rev. Amos had a vague consciousness that he

had risen into aristocratic life, and only associated with his

middle-class parishioners in a pastoral and parenthetic manner.

However, as the days brightened, Milly's cheeks and lips brightened too;

and in a few weeks she was almost as active as ever, though watchful eyes

might have seen that activity was not easy to her. Mrs. Hackit's eyes

were of that kind, and one day, when Mr. and Mrs. Barton had been dining

with her for the first time since Milly's illness, she observed to her

husband--'That poor thing's dreadful weak an' delicate; she won't stan'

havin' many more children.

Mr. Barton, meanwhile, had been indefatigable in his vocation. He had

preached two extemporary sermons every Sunday at the workhouse, where a

room had been fitted up for divine service, pending the alterations in

the church; and had walked the same evening to a cottage at one or other

extremity of his parish to deliver another sermon, still more

extemporary, in an atmosphere impregnated with spring-flowers and

perspiration. After all these labours you will easily conceive that he

was considerably exhausted by half-past nine o'clock in the evening, and

that a supper at a friendly parishioner's, with a glass, or even two

glasses, of brandy-and-water after it, was a welcome reinforcement. Mr.

Barton was not at all an ascetic; he thought the benefits of fasting were

entirely confined to the Old Testament dispensation; he was fond of

relaxing himself with a little gossip; indeed, Miss Bond, and other

ladies of enthusiastic views, sometimes regretted that Mr. Barton did not

more uninterruptedly exhibit a superiority to the things of the flesh.

Thin ladies, who take little exercise, and whose livers are not strong

enough to bear stimulants, are so extremely critical about one's personal

habits! And, after all, the Rev. Amos never came near the borders of a

vice. His very faults were middling--he was not _very_ ungrammatical. It

was not in his nature to be superlative in anything; unless, indeed, he

was superlatively middling, the quintessential extract of mediocrity. If

there was any one point on which he showed an inclination to be

excessive, it was confidence in his own shrewdness and ability in

practical matters, so that he was very full of plans which were something

like his moves in chess--admirably well calculated, supposing the state

of the case were otherwise. For example, that notable plan of introducing

anti-dissenting books into his Lending Library did not in the least

appear to have bruised the head of Dissent, though it had certainly made

Dissent strongly inclined to bite the Rev. Amos's heel. Again, he vexed

the souls of his churchwardens and influential parishioners by his

fertile suggestiveness as to what it would be well for them to do in the

matter of the church repairs, and other ecclesiastical secularities.

'I never saw the like to parsons,' Mr. Hackit said one day in

conversation with his brother churchwarden, Mr. Bond; 'they're al'ys for

meddling with business, an they know no more about it than my black

filly.'

'Ah,' said Mr. Bond, 'they're too high learnt to have much common-sense.'

'Well,' remarked Mr. Hackit, in a modest and dubious tone, as if throwing

out a hypothesis which might be considered bold, 'I should say that's a

bad sort of eddication as makes folks onreasonable.'

So that, you perceive, Mr. Barton's popularity was in that precarious

condition, in that toppling and contingent state, in which a very slight

push from a malignant destiny would utterly upset it. That push was not

long in being given, as you shall hear.

One fine May morning, when Amos was out on his parochial visits, and the

sunlight was streaming through the bow-window of the sitting-room, where

Milly was seated at her sewing, occasionally looking up to glance at the

children playing in the garden, there came a loud rap at the door, which

she at once recognized as the Countess's, and that well-dressed lady

presently entered the sitting-room, with her veil drawn over her face.

Milly was not at all surprised or sorry to see her; but when the Countess

threw up her veil, and showed that her eyes were red and swollen, she was

both surprised and sorry.

'What can be the matter, dear Caroline?'

Caroline threw down Jet, who gave a little yelp; then she threw her arms

round Milly's neck, and began to sob; then she threw herself on the sofa,

and begged for a glass of water; then she threw off her bonnet and shawl;

and by the time Milly's imagination had exhausted itself in conjuring up

calamities, she said,--'Dear, how shall I tell you? I am the most

wretched woman. To be deceived by a brother to whom I have been so

devoted--to see him degrading himself--giving himself utterly to the

dogs!'

'What can it be?' said Milly, who began to picture to herself the sober

Mr. Bridmain taking to brandy and betting.

'He is going to be married--to marry my own maid, that deceitful Alice,

to whom I have been the most indulgent mistress. Did you ever hear of

anything so disgraceful? so mortifying? so disreputable?'

'And has he only just told you of it?' said Milly, who, having really

heard of worse conduct, even in her innocent life, avoided a direct

answer.

'Told me of it! he had not even the grace to do that. I went into the

dining-room suddenly and found him kissing her--disgusting at his time of

life, is it not?--and when I reproved her for allowing such liberties,

she turned round saucily, and said she was engaged to be married to my

brother, and she saw no shame in allowing him to kiss her. Edmund is a

miserable coward, you know, and looked frightened; but when she asked him

to say whether it was not so, he tried to summon up courage and say yes.

I left the room in disgust, and this morning I have been questioning

Edmund, and find that he is bent on marrying this woman, and that he has

been putting off telling me--because he was ashamed of himself, I

suppose. I couldn't possibly stay in the house after this, with my own

maid turned mistress. And now, Milly, I am come to throw myself on your

charity for a week or two. _Will_ you take me in?'

'That we will,' said Milly, 'if you will only put up with our poor rooms

and way of living. It will be delightful to have you!'

'It will soothe me to be with you and Mr. Barton a little while. I feel

quite unable to go among my other friends just at present. What those two

wretched people will do I don't know--leave the neighbourhood at once, I

hope. I entreated my brother to do so, before he disgraced himself.'

When Amos came home, he joined his cordial welcome and sympathy to

Milly's. By-and-by the Countess's formidable boxes, which she had

carefully packed before her indignation drove her away from Camp Villa,

arrived at the vicarage, and were deposited in the spare bedroom, and in

two closets, not spare, which Milly emptied for their reception. A week

afterwards, the excellent apartments at Camp Villa, comprising dining and

drawing rooms, three bedrooms and a dressing-room, were again to let, and

Mr. Bridmain's sudden departure, together with the Countess Czerlaski's

installation as a visitor at Shepperton Vicarage, became a topic of

general conversation in the neighbourhood. The keen-sighted virtue of

Milby and Shepperton saw in all this a confirmation of its worst

suspicions, and pitied the Rev. Amos Barton's gullibility.

But when week after week, and month after month, slipped by without

witnessing the Countess's departure--when summer and harvest had fled,

and still left her behind them occupying the spare bedroom and the

closets, and also a large proportion of Mrs. Barton's time and attention,

new surmises of a very evil kind were added to the old rumours, and began

to take the form of settled convictions in the minds even of Mr. Barton's

most friendly parishioners.

And now, here is an opportunity for an accomplished writer to

apostrophize calumny, to quote Virgil, and to show that he is acquainted

with the most ingenious things which have been said on that subject in

polite literature.

But what is opportunity to the man who can't use it? An undefecundated

egg, which the waves of time wash away into nonentity. So, as my memory

is ill-furnished, and my notebook still worse, I am unable to show myself

either erudite or eloquent apropos of the calumny whereof the Rev. Amos

Barton was the victim. I can only ask my reader,--did you ever upset your

ink-bottle, and watch, in helpless agony, the rapid spread of Stygian

blackness over your fair manuscript or fairer table-cover? With a like

inky swiftness did gossip now blacken the reputation of the Rev. Amos

Barton, causing the unfriendly to scorn and even the friendly to stand

aloof, at a time when difficulties of another kind were fast thickening

around him.