The King's Flame

Chapter IV - Expectations

Nichol and his men went hunting and did not return until mid-afternoon. Dinner that night would be plentiful. While Mrs. Virrin, Amarna and Lila worked in the kitchen, Kira was back in the royal tent to help the prince wash before dinner. He took off his leather coat, handed it to her and took off his pants, leaving only the long cotton shirt. He spoke excitedly about the hunt while he undressed and Kira smiled. They turned their backs to each other and he took off his shirt, and then went into the bathtub. Kira picked up the shirt on the floor and put it with the other clothes on top of a chair.

- It's torn. - She informed, taking the shirt back again in her hands. There was a hole in the side almost the size of a coin.

- Really? s**t, I like this shirt. - Nichol replied.

- I can fix it. - Kira said.

- I would appreciate that, Kira.

Without him even asking, Kira took the bath towel and started rubbing his back, as she always did. He seemed happy, relaxed, so Kira took the courage to ask what she wanted to know for a long time:

- What are these scars?

- The ones on the back? – he laughed - Most are years of playing and fighting with my brother. I also rolled out of a canyon once while hunting. And some battles, of course.

- Interesting. - she smiled.

- And you, any scars? - Asked Nichol.

Kira placed the cloth on the edge of the tub and lowered the sleeve of her dress, exposing her shoulder. Right at the beginning of the arm, there was a thin scar the size of a thumb.

- What happened? - Nichol asked, perplexed by the scar.

- My sister stabbed me.

Nichol's eyes widened in astonishment. Kira started laughing and so did he.

- Did Lila do that?

- No, Lanaida. We were arguing about a piece of lace, I think. I was fourteen and she was twelve.

- Remind me not to ever provoke your sisters. - he laughed.

Kira smiled and barely noticed that her sleeve was still down. Nichol continued to stare at the scar, but also at her shoulder and part of her chest. He brought one hand up to the mark, sliding his thumb gently over it. Kira felt her own heart pounding and racing, unable to take her eyes off him or break the contact between his hand and her skin. With the back of his hand, he gently caressed the skin on her shoulder and looked back at Kira, breathing heavily, carrying in his eyes a desire so hot she felt it directly burn onto her skin. She looked away and raised her sleeve, suddenly, with the very words of the conversation she had earlier with her sister ringing in her mind.

- Do you need anything else, Your Highness? - Kira asked, getting up.

- No. - Said Nichol, looking ahead. - You can go, Kira.

Feeling almost bewildered, she left the tent. She held her own arm, at the location of her scar, being able to still feel his touch on her skin. It didn't take long for Kira to convince herself that it was useless to dwell on that sensation and went to help Mrs. Virrin and Amarna in the kitchen, trying to distract herself.

The day was still clear, but the orange tones of the afternoon were beginning to color the sky. Kira and Lila advanced all their obligations and, trying not to be noticed, made a short escape to the river. They climbed in the opposite direction of the stream until they were far enough from the camp so no soldiers could find them. They took a basket with a couple of towels, bath cloths, a wooden comb and a glass of almond oil that they borrowed from Mrs. Virrin. They took off their dresses and nightgowns and dived. The water was a little cold, but they didn't care, they were more than used to it. The sensation of having their hair running in water and their bodies submerged was almost purifying.

- I missed it so much! - Exclaimed Lila, laughing.

- We need to be quick, we can't risk getting caught! - Kira said. - Oh, the water is wonderful.

They took the bath towels and started rubbing the skin, helping each other on the back. The water hit half of their thighs when they were standing, and if it weren't for the streaks of sunlight that hit that hour, they would probably be very cold. After washing, they took the oil and passed it over the wet skin, enjoying the sweet  smell.

- I miss having my skin touched by a man. - Lila commented, rubbing the oil on her belly. - I miss love.

- I don't know if it is possible to miss something that you never had, but ... I think I do too. - Kira said. The two were silent for a while. - Well, someone won't miss that for long, isn’t it, Lady Reimfred?

- Kira! - Lila exclaimed, laughing, and splashed water on her sister. – That’s not funny!

- Oh, poor girl, the peasant who stole the count's heart! - Kira continued, fighting back with the water.

- Stop!

The two began to laugh and play with the water, as they did when they were children, almost forgetting that they should be silent to not be noticed. Kira, for a moment, felt time stand still. She was on her feet and Lila was crouched in front of her when she thought she was being watched. Looking around, her heart sped up and she felt her own skin burn when her eyes met the beholder: Nichol. She hadn't known how long he had been there, but for some reason, she couldn't care less. He stared at her completely naked body, covered only by the droplets of water and sunlight that reflected the glow of the oil on her skin. She didn't feel like hiding or covering herself; she wanted to be devoured by his look. That moment that seemed to go on for hours and hours probably lasted only a few seconds.

- Kira, is everything okay? - Asked Lila, standing up. Kira looked at her and when she looked back at the trees, Nichol was no longer there.

- Yes ... yes. -  Kira replied, feeling her head still out of place. - Come on, we better comb our hair and go back to camp.

Kira spent the rest of the day absorbed in her own thoughts. Unable to stop thinking about Nichol, his eyes, his face, his body ... She couldn't even name what she felt. She was ecstatic, anxious and, most of all, scared. She didn't want to feel that way about him, but it was inevitable. She felt intoxicated, suffocated and completely addicted to that sensation that seemed so wrong, so obscure. Kira felt lost, unable to trust herself about what to do next.

Nichol was not in the tent when Kira and Lila started to set the table; he would have dinner alone that night. Lila looked calm and cheerful, humming some songs as she adjusted the cutlery. Both she and Kira had their hair impeccably styled, previously tied by braids and buns, now they were loose, with two front strands curled and tied back in a single fine braid. Lila was already holding the wine jar when the prince arrived. He immediately looked at Kira and a softer version of that burning feeling came over her, but along with it came the unexpected shame. Nichol had seen her entire body, from her breasts to her thighs, and it caused her an embarrassment almost palpable. With her cheeks burning, she lowered her head, feeling insecure and dishonoured.

- Good evening, girls. - Said Nichol.

- Good evening, Your Highness. - Said Lila. Kira remained silent.

- You two look beautiful tonight. Said Nichol, looking at Kira. She didn't look back. - Although you always are, of course.

- Thank you, Your Highness. - Said Lila, pouring the wine. - That's very kind.

While eating, Nichol tried to catch Kira's eye in some way, but she kept her head down all the time, with a discreet urge to cry. She looked bleak, desolated. She wanted to leave there and never come back.

- Thank you girls. Dinner was great. - Said Nichol, before taking the last sip of his wine glass.

- Your Highness. - Said the girls, almost in unison, making a short bow and heading towards the exit.

- Lila... - Said the prince. - I need to talk to you. Please stay.

Kira looked at Lila confused. Lila squeezed her arm and shook her head. Outside the tent, Kira felt as if she had awakened from a trance. Her heart squeezed, the tip of her nose started to hurt and her eyes watered immediately. She knew what it meant and started to beg to the universe so she was wrong. She went around the tent and discreetly saw a small crack there. Without calculating her movements or thinking about what she was doing, she looked through that small opening.

Nichol and Lila were standing beside his bed. He started unbuttoning his leather jacket and, once it was on the floor, he brought both hands to Lila's face and kissed her. Kira felt a twinge in her chest, as if her heart was broken into a million pieces at once, but she couldn't look away. He raised his arms and tugged at his shirt, proceeding to bring his hands to the back of Lila's dress and loosening the ties, while his mouth caressed her neck. Her hands roamed Nichol's back and, once her dress was loose, he pulled it down, along with her nightgown, to her waist. He grabbed her breasts with both hands and brought his mouth to them. She brought a hand to her mouth to stop a moan. Nichol pushed her onto the bed and she spread her legs, pulling the skirts of her dress up. He laid on top of her and kissed her again as he opened his pants. He penetrated her and drew a desperate sigh and an ecstatic smile from her. He grunted as he invested and kissed her neck as she dug her nails into his back. As Nichol f****d her, he felt the look of an observer; and she left the moment she was noticed.

Kira ran away and was unable to contain the thick tears that streamed from her eyes. She arrived at the entrance of Mrs. Virrin's tent, but couldn't enter. She cried without sobs, just with uneven breath and waterfalls running down her eyes. Her heart was racing and her body was hot, like a fever that burned her from the outside in. She wanted to go to the creek, take off her dress, her nightgown and plunge completely naked into the cold water in the moonlight that would be unable to warm her up again. She wanted to wash herself because even dressed, she felt naked, exposed, dirty and vulgar. It took a while before she was able to clear her thoughts. She went into the tent and found Mrs. Virrin and Amarna sleeping. She began to loosen the ribbons of her dress and got rid of it as if it was suffocating her. She wanted to take the nightgown off too, but she couldn’t. She went to the small table where Mrs. Virrin left a tub with clean water and washed her face in it. She felt relieved and proceeded to run her wet hands over her lap, arm and neck. She pulled the hem of her nightgown and touched the inside of her thighs with cold water-covered palms, which were as hot as she never felt before. Calmer, all that madness burning inside of her and confused feelings turned into painful sadness. Kira had never felt so stupid and naive. For a moment, however brief, she believed that Nichol could respond to that strong feeling she had. He is a prince, a handsome and powerful man, who can have any woman he wishes. And he wanted Lila, a beautiful woman he could love very much. Why would he want her chaste affections and her childish feelings? Those looks and kindness never meant anything, nothing but the reveries of her virgin heart.

Kira sat on the mat where she slept and let the tears fall freely down her face as she hugged her knees and wished to disappear into herself. She was crying softly for fear of waking Mrs. Virrin and Amarna. Lila's empty mat beside her did not let her forget for a second what she had seen in the royal tent. The only thing that separated her bed from her sister's bed was a small wooden stool. On top of it was Lila's white camellia, beginning to wilt, and Nichol's shirt that Kira had fixed and left by her side so she wouldn't forget to take it to him in the morning. She gripped the fabric tightly between her fingers and brought it to her, feeling it against her own skin. His scent was there, that scent she knew so well. Nichol was carved in iron in her mind. She thought about his skin, his hair, his smile, his body, his eyes ... Every detail of him belonged to her and she didn't have it. Without realizing it, she fell asleep clinging to the prince's shirt. And had no dreams.