“Now I see why you were dying to get back inside the mall,” I cracked.
“Not ‘dying…’” Jarek giggled. “You had your up-close-and-personal, maybe I want mine.”
“I got swindled!”
“Which gave me an idea…”
“What?!”
“We need a pair of elf underwear, right?”
“Yeah…”
“And he’s a what?”
“I don’t know, what? A college student? A twink? A…a…”
“An elf?”
“Jarek!”
“What? We’re gonna ask him, not mug him, for heaven’s sake. He seems flirty, he seems kinda ‘down,’ whatever that means. It doesn’t hurt to ask him; he can say no. But at least if we tell this kid we owe him one, he has a chance of collecting.”
“Ouch.” I laughed.
“Yeah, well…”
As if he was in on the plan, Santa hoisted a child off his lap, then took an imaginary swig from his thumb for his elf’s benefit. The elf unveiled a holly-
