Chapter 7
1240 Words
Remy
“You sure this is where you wanna go?" I glance over at Maddie. She's getting so big, soon she'll be nine, and I'm not sure what the f**k I'm going to do with myself when that happens. That's too close to her being a teenager.
“Yeah," she answers. “I need a new book to read, and they have really cute notebooks too."
Everything has to be really cute right now in her life. It's disconcerting, to say the least. “You wanna grab some dinner after this?"
“Can we go get greasy burgers? Mom hardly ever lets me do that."
I grin, loving the relationship we have now. She's old enough that we've started to have things that are just ours. Usually when we go out for dinner, it's to get greasy burgers. We share a milkshake and a plate of fries. Creating memories with her is important to me; I want her to know someone loves her besides her parents. That if anything were to ever happen, she would have someone else. “Sure can," I say, grabbing her hand as we cross traffic and ducking into the bookstore.
“You know where these really cute notebooks are?" I tease, ruffling her hair.
“No, but I know where my book is." She drags me by the hand, back to the children's section.
Immediately, she runs up to a rack of books and grabs one. “This it?"
“Yeah," I glance at the price, realizing it was cheaper than I thought it would be. “You wanna get another one?"
“Can I?" Her eyes, so much like my brother's, look up at me like I offered her the best gift ever.
“Sure, as long as you promise you'll read it."
As we walk along, her grabbing books that look interesting to her, I notice two girls standing at a stationary display. One of those girls is Tatum, I would know her anywhere. Chances are the other is Addie. Right then, Addie turns around.
“Remy, what the hell are you doing in a book store?"
At her words, Tatum turns quickly, and immediately my eyes go to what she holds in her hands. A box of stationary. My heartrate increases as I realize she got my note. I knew that would happen, I did, but I didn't think I'd have to face her so soon afterwards.
“She wanted to come." I put my hand on Maddie's shoulder, pulling her close to me.
“Uncle Remy said I could get two books and a really cute notebook," she tells the two of them enthusiastically.
“Uncle Remy is pretty awesome then." Addie bends down to her level. “I saw some really cute notebooks over there." She points to the front of the store. “How about we go check them out, and we let these two talk?"
Maddie is all for it, grabbing Addie's hand. “You listen to her like you would me," I caution my niece.
Then we're alone. For the second time in two days. It's awkward, even more awkward than I could have imagined, and I'd imagined a lot.
Finally, she breaks the silence. “I miss you too, Remy. More than you know."
“I didn't know any other way to tell you, not after how we left things. Everything else just felt so childish and insignificant."
“No, I get it. It's definitely easier to say things when we aren't standing here looking at each other." Her face is red.
“You've got that right, but at some point we've gotta face it all, Tate."
“We do." She agrees, reaching out to grab my hand.
I hang on for dear life, enjoying this touch more than I've ever enjoyed anything. It's been so long since I felt her skin, and I'll never take it for granted again.
“I wanna do this right," she says. “I don't want to make the same mistakes we made before. If that means days or weeks of notes back and forth, then so be it." Her eyes are begging me to understand. “Whatever makes this right, I want it."
“I'm willing to do what it takes. We f****d this up once, I don't want to f**k it up again."
“I f****d it up." She bites her lip, face going red again.
“No, we both had a hand in it, I won't let you take responsibility for something we both did. And if what you want is to take it slow, then that's what we'll do. This is between us, Tate, not everybody else."
“Thank you," she says softly as she leans in, kissing me on the cheek.
“There is one thing I want to do this time." My tone is low, private, and serious.
“What?" The way she looks up at me, takes my breath. Goddamn she's gorgeous.
“I wanna be honest with Liam. I don't want to sneak around with you, don't want us to hide what's happening. It is our business, but I want him to know, I want to give him the respect he deserves."
“I agree, I want to do this right this time. We made a lot of mistakes before. If we're going to give it a shot, we've got to truly give it a shot, Rem. I can't take the heartache again. Either this works, or it doesn't."
Those words strike a fear in my heart I've not felt before. What if we can't make this work? What if we f**k it up again? But I know without a doubt I can't do what I've been doing, can't go through life as sad and lonely as I've been. I have to be at peace if this doesn't work – if it wasn't meant to. I owe it to both of us to be able to do that. And what kind of a man am I if I can't?
“I feel you, and you're right. So let's give it all we got."
“Okay." She grins, holding up the package in her hands. “So I'm going to go buy these, and hopefully I'll have something for you tomorrow. I'm afraid I'm not a poet like you."
The chuckle sticks in my throat. “Babe, I don't even know where that s**t came from. It was just how I feel."
“Then maybe I'll write you how I feel."
I give her a smile, cupping her cheek in my palm. “There's no other option. Truth or nothing, Tatum."
“Got it." She leans into my touch. “Truth or nothing. It's going to be hard to be so exposed to you."
“It's not a cakewalk for me either, but it's what people do when they care about each other."
She nods, giving me one more smile before she walks away. This isn't at all what I expected when I walked into this store, but I'm glad it happened, thankful for the chance, and excited for the future.
When was the last time I thought about future with excitement? Possibly never – and all it took was a girl with dark hair, blue eyes, and my heart in her hands. Whether she knows it or not, she's the key, I'm the lock, and I desperately need to be set free.
- Writer
