Marks and Scars

Body Count

When I woke up the next morning, Jeremy was sitting on the floor near my bed, leaning his back against the mattress. I rubbed my eyes, glancing at my alarm clock to see what time it was. Just after nine. My body was still heavy with sleep, but I propped myself up on my arm and leaned over to see that Jeremy was fiddling with his phone.

At the same time, Jeremy turned his head to me, his expression neutral.

"Good morning," I mumbled sleepily, moving my lips as little as possible, hoping that he wouldn't notice my morning breath.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," he responded quietly.

I straightened up a little more, trying to read into his expression. "You okay?"

Jeremy turned and planted a light kiss on my forehead. "Never better. Did you sleep okay?"

"Yes." It was the truth. I had woken up feeling more rested than I had in a long time. I didn't wake up once a single time after Jeremy's arrival.

"Good," Jeremy decided. "Do you want me to take you to breakfast?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, why not. Wouldn't that be the normal, human thing to do in a slow burning relationship?"

I smiled. "I wouldn't know. I've never really had a normal relationship."

Jeremy raised his brows at this. "Really?"

I nodded, my cheeks turning red in embarrassment. I hadn't meant to just spit that out.

"Well then, I guess this is a new experience for the both of us. Let's wing it, and go get some breakfast."

"I could always make you breakfast," I offered. "I usually make breakfast for Cathleen and Tyler on the weekends anyway."

Something dark flashed in Jeremy's eyes. It came and went so fast, I wasn't sure if I'd actually seen it. "

"So you'd rather the two of us eat breakfast with your roommates?" he asked.

I frowned. I hadn't thought that all the way through. Scenarios started playing out in my mind. Cathleen wouldn't be happy. She would definitely just embarrass me further.

"Yeah....no. Let's go out for breakfast," I decided. "Just give me a minute to go get dressed and brush my teeth."

Jeremy nodded, turning back to his phone.

I climbed out of bed and turned back to straighten the covers before I pulled my cardigan closed yet again and carefully crept to the bathroom. Cathleen wouldn't be awake for at least another hour or two. The living room still appeared empty, and it looked as though Tyler never came back home the night before.

In the bathroom, I hurried through my morning routine. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, rubbed dry shampoo into my hair and brushed through it, rubbed lotion into my always dry skin, and applied the little bit of makeup (thin eyeliner and mascara) that I wore on a daily basis.

I returned to the bedroom and went into the closet, closing the door behind me, where I changed into a pair of blue jeans and a gray sweatshirt I'd kept since high school that had my high school name and mascot on it in shades of pink. When I glanced at the mascot in the mirror, I let out a dry laugh. It was a timber wolf.

I emerged from the closet, and when I glanced at Jeremy, I had to do a quick double take. I hadn't really paid much attention to what he had been wearing when he showed up in the middle of the night, but the graphic t-shirt and dark wash blue jeans he was wearing looked fresh. I was almost positive he had changed clothes as well.

"You ready?" he asked me.

"Did you bring clothes here?" I asked instead of answering.

Jeremy laughed. "I always keep extra clothes in the Jeep."

So he had gone out to the Jeep while I was getting ready? Or did he have a bag stashed somewhere in my room that I had missed. I started glancing around suspiciously.

Jeremy didn't give me much time to investigate. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and squeezed lightly, guiding me to my bedroom door. When he opened the door, I could see Cathleen's door open simultaneously. Jeremy and I stood frozen in the doorway, facing a sleepy but surprised Cathleen. She stood frozen in her own doorway wearing her fuzzy Christmas pajama pants and matching shirt.

I coughed lightly, before taking Jeremy's hand and pulling him desperately toward the back door in the kitchen. "Cathleen, you remember Jeremy from the other night. He's taking me out for breakfast. I'll see you later, bye!" My voice was a little too strained.

Cathleen just stood in the door with wide eyes, watching us as we crossed through the kitchen to the back door. I had to use way more effort than I would have thought necessary to get Jeremy to cooperate. By the time we made it to the resident lot, he was laughing at me.

"Was that awkward?" he asked, a little too lightly.

"Do you really even have to ask?"

Loose bits of pavement crunched beneath Jeremy's boots as we crossed the parking lot to where he had parked his Jeep.

Ten minutes later, we were seated in a back corner booth at an IHOP. I had my menu opened, standing up on the table so that I didn't get distracted by Jeremy while deciding what I wanted. It was hard not staring at him when he was sitting directly in front of me.

Truth be told, I didn't feel all that hungry anymore. When the waitress came around, I ordered a coffee and a single plate of pancakes. When the waitress walked away to put in our orders, she took the menus with her, leaving me nothing to hide behind.

Jeremy's eyes captured mine instantly and I felt my face redden under his gaze.

"What now?" he asked me.

I shrugged helplessly.

He frowned in response. "You've really never had a normal relationship?" he asked, remembering my claims form earlier that morning.

I shook my head, breaking eye contact. "No..."

"No ex boyfriends?" My fingers, which had been fiddling with the salt shaker, stilled instantly. "What is it?" he murmured quietly. I could feel Jeremy's eyes zero in on my body language and I let out a sigh. How was he so observant?

"There are ex boyfriends," I relented, still not looking away from the salt shaker.

"How many?" he asked me.

I pressed my lips together firmly for a moment before answering. "I've probably had three relationships before in my life. And one of those was in middle school, so I doubt that counts."

Jeremy was quiet for a moment, and then... "Did you... sleep with any of them?"

I bristled at his words. If my cheeks got any redder, they would surely just melt off of my face. "That..." I began stiffly, "Is not a question that would be asked in the very beginning of a normal, human relationship."

"I'm not human," he replied lightly, "And how would you know? I thought normal was new to the both of us."

I made eye contact with him, my frustration building.

"What if I told you," he began, folding his arms and leaning forward across the table, "That as a werewolf, I am bound to you by more than just the mate bond that you seem able to feel when we touch. I can sense you even when you aren't here. Ever since the goddess decided that we were meant to be, we had a connection. And on my end, the connection was stronger. For the last six years, I could feel what you were feeling. I could feel how your experiences affected you. When you bled, I was in pain. When you cried, my heart clenched. When you were angry, I was deadly."

His voice was so quiet, I had to lean forward to hear him. His words caused chills to run down my spine. "I don't understand," I whispered, struggling to maintain eye contact.

"How many men have you been with," Jeremy repeated his question.

I felt the air in my lungs disappear like a vacuum. "Jeremy..." my words were feeble. I glanced around at the tables around us. The section we had been seated in was mostly empty, but it still felt too public to be having this kind of conversation.

"No one is listening," Jeremy offered when he saw me glancing around.

I looked back to him, making eye contact for a moment, before looking back down at the salt shaker. I picked it up again, turning it around in my hands. "What if I said none," I finally answered, testing his intuition. "What if I said I've never been with a man that way."

"I wouldn't believe you," Jeremy answered, without hesitation. "I know that isn't true."

I gripped the salt shaker tightly in my hand and looked back up at him. "How do you know?"

Jeremy blinked, his expression cold. I didn't understand how he could bounce between warm and cold so easily.

"Having a fated mate is not extremely common. Actually being able to find your fated mate is hard. When a wolf is given a fated mate, they know it instantly and they either reject the gift, or they stay loyal to their mate, saving themselves until they meet. That's just how things are done. I searched for you for six years, and for six years, I believed you had already rejected me before you even met me. Because of the things I was feeling through our connection."

Six years? But that's...

"I thought you would formally reject the mate bond the instant that I finally did find you. Kara, I was more than prepared for it. I was ready to move on. But I realized that you were drawn to me, too. And when I realized you were human, that's when I realized how you had managed to be so disloyal all these years."

Disloyal? I furrowed my eyebrows, looking at him. Grappling with all of the things I wanted to say, I finally settled on one. "You can call it disloyal if you want. But I didn't know any better and I would think you are capable of understanding that. Besides, I don't think it's possible to reject you."

Jeremy's eyes finally softened, just a fraction. "You rejected me for six years."

I shook my head. "How is that fair?" My anger at him seeped into my words. I knew nothing about this stupid mate bond up until he'd finally approached me at B&E's. Was he seriously finding fault in me for living my life as a human?

"How many?" Jeremy repeated.

I recoiled at his question, snatching my hand away when he tried to reach out to me. "Leave it alone, Jeremy."

"Kara." The way he said my name, the way his tone dipped ever so slightly. "Please, I just need to know." My shoulders relaxed a bit. Was he hurt? I'd certainly never meant to hurt him, he had to know that. I wanted to tell him to get over it. But the idea that I had caused him pain...

"Two," I finally whispered an answer.

His expression hardened once more and he looked at the table.

"Jeremy... if I had known..." I started, but Jeremy shook his head.

"I know. I believe you."

I hesitated again before asking a question that had suddenly started burning in my mind. "You could sense everything I felt?"

Jeremy nodded slowly. "Not everything you were feeling, every second of everyday. But every now and then, the strong stuff. Anger, fear, sadness, passion..." the last word sounded incredibly forced.

I stared at the table thoughtfully, looking up only when Jeremy grabbed my hand. At his touch, each one of my muscles relaxed instantly. He still wasn't looking at me, but the contact was comforting.

Just then, Jeremy's phone began buzzing on the table with an incoming call. Jeremy picked it up, scowling at the screen. He accepted the call and raised it to his ear.

"I told you not to call me unless it was life or death," he snapped. His look only darkened as he listened to whatever the caller was saying. "I see... I'll be there shortly."

He ended the call, and sighed, reaching down to dig in his pockets. "Are you leaving?" I asked, my eyebrows raised in surprise.

"I've got to, there's an emergency back on the island. Here," he placed the keys to his Jeep on the table and laid a credit card down next to them. "Eat your breakfast. If I'm not back by the time you're done, use my card for the tab and take my car back to your place."

"How are you going to get to the island?" I asked.

He smirked lightly as he stood up. "I was planning on running. It's faster."

I felt my mouth fall open. Oh right... werewolf.

Jeremy had turned to walk away, but froze before turning to plant a weak kiss on my forehead. "Call me if you run into any trouble."

And then he was gone.

I stared at the empty table unhappily.

A plate of pancakes appeared in front of me and I jumped. The waitress smiled in apology as she set down my food, and then Jeremy's pancakes, bacon, eggs, and hash browns. I stared at all the food when she left again, suddenly not hungry.

I had just swiped the keys and card off of the table when someone slid into the booth across from me. I looked up in mild surprise.

Tyler was wearing a tight smile as he glanced around the restaurant uneasily. 

"Hey."