Should Have Been Me
1003 Words
I stood under the shower, my eyes closed as the water pelted down on me. I wished the water could wash last night off my skin. I wish it would render me clean once again.
At the same time, I wanted it to stay ever green. Maybe not this morning, but last night. A part of me wanted to retain last night's memory. Treacherous of me, but still.
I sighed, turning off the shower. I grabbed a robe, then stepped out of the bathroom. Luckily, Father had been away when I got back. Not like he has enough time to realize I hadn't been home, but he would have had he seen me walking in.
I walked to the closet, my hair dripping all over, but the least of my concerns right now was a wet floor.
I opened the closet. I had slowly given in to Mariana's plea, even though I knew I would come out of it hurt. This was my best friend of years. The girl who knows just how much I wanted to end up with Taylor. The mate bond may not be her fault, but... there were definitely better ways to tell me. There were better ways to let me down.
I sighed again, then slowly searched the clothes in my closet. I finally settled for a red knee-length dress. I pulled it out, then proceeded to get ready. It took less than an hour, and I stopped in front of the mirror, watching myself.
Since when did I need to make sure I don't look vulnerable in front of Mariana?
I blinked back the tears I felt stinging the back of my eyes and grabbed my bag before I would break down.
I sat in the car, watching the cafe. She was sitting close to the window where we normally sat, her eyes fixed outside. I could see her ring glistening in the sun when she held on to the cup of coffee. I could see the way she replied texts, a smile lifting her lips.
That should have been me. How could it all end like this? How did we end like this?
I swallowed and leaned back on the car, my eyes closing. I grabbed my dress to try and kept calm, my breaths all over the place.
For a while, I just stayed like that before I slowly grabbed my bag, then walked out of the car. I made my way to the cafe, then stepped in.
I stopped by the door again, my eyes fixed on the table. She slowly looked up, then burst into a smile. One of those smiles that could convince me to do whatever she wanted. I had overdosed on our friendship because I know I would never er have done the same.
If dealt with the same cards, I would choose her.
I swallowed, then walked to her table and sat, a small sigh escaping me.
"Jordan. I am so happy you..."
"Go straight to the point, Mariana." I met her eyes, my gaze steely.
She swallowed. "I know this came as a shock," she started, waving her ring. "I am sorry I was the one, Jordan. I am sorry I..."
"Mariana, please. Don't apologize for a conscious decision. There were countless otbers, but you chose to take what belonged to your best friend. Spare me the apologies."
She swallowed, then leaned forward, taking my hand. "I... I had no choice."
"Choice? Is this a matter of choice? You had the guts to flaunt your ring in front of me. You both cheated behind my back, I got dropped like a hot potato and you sit there, like a f*****g hypocrite and tell me you don't have a choice?" I was yelling now, and I honestly didn't care. She was hurting me, and she knew what she was doing. Everything she had done, everything she had snatched away from me... how dare she tell me it was because she didn't have a choice?
She swallowed, bringing her hand to wipe her tears away. "Jordan... Jordan, I am pregnant. You think I would have..."
"What?" I couldn't recognise my own voice at this time, my lips parting. "What did you just say?"
She sniffed hard, her hair falling in front of her face, her chest lightly heaving. "I am pregnant for Tyler. I was... it was a mistake, but he wanted the child. And... we just happened to be mates, so...."
I grabbed my bag and stood up, unable to take it anymore. I had turned away when I felt her jold my hand back.
"Jordan, please."
I yanked my arm violently away from her, causing her to fall back, her eyes wide. She gave a yelp, but before I could reach out, Tyler was around her, his arms breaking her fall.
I stopped, watching as he checked her, passing his fingers through her hair, lightly caressing her face, making sure she was okay. All the things he should be doing to me.
"I knew you would get aggressive. I never should have let her come."
My lips parted, and I felt the pang of hurt slice through my chest. "Yeah. Maybe you both should disappear and never come in front of me again."
"Jordan, please. Please. We are having a ball. You are my best friend. Please come." Mariana took out an invite and pushed it into my hand, her eyes pleading and full with tears.
Without a word, I turned away, the invite in my hand, and walked away, hoping to get to my car, or at least away before I finally broke down. I made it to the car, my chest heaving, the tears rolling in torrents. The guts of those people.
I sat there longer than I knew, my heart breaking with every second that passed. With a small sigh, I leaned forward and backed out of the cafe.
I got home and went straight to bed, hoping to fall asleep before I fell apart.
- Writer
