Dearest Diary,

Take it like a man!

Dearest diary,

Remember how I told you I loved my family and you didn't believe it?

Well, it's time for me to prove it, then we can settle that matter once and for all.

Yes, we have had a weird past and an even darker history but so does everyone. I on my part, I'm determined to move past that and enjoy my life regardless of what people say.

It's silly to continue being sad and depressed about something I can't change.

Like the wisemen said,

Yaliopita si ndwele, Tugange yajayo. Therefore, what's gone is gone. I'll plan for the future and pray that it sticks.

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After that History 101 class and the following heart wrenching stories, my cousins finally retire to auntie Teresa's home in Kiambu, for that's where Caleb is residing during his short visit to the country.

As expected my mum and Shea tag along and I am left to prepare and shop for our upcountry journey to grandma's rural home.

The journey is something we all agreed upon, unanimously, even, though my real motive is an ulterior one. I plan on taking David along and doing some field work as part of my research for the business plan.

"I was thinking," Troy says, drawing my mind from my deep thoughts.

He pauses before turning to haul a ten Kilogramme bag of Pishori rice into his Trolley

"Yea," I encourage him as I turn back to survey the packets of cereals that are on display on the next shelf.

"I was thinking of taking you on holiday."

"Holiday?" I respond skepticaly. "What Kind and when? And who do you mean when you say 'you'?" I add dropping several two Kilogramme bags of lentils, peas and green grams into the trolley.

"You and Bri."

"When?" I frown as I turn around to face him.

"We can always come back earlier than the rest. Maybe Friday, and then on Saturday morning we can take a flight down to Mombasa or a ride to Nakuru, whichever you like."

I turn back to the shelves still frowning and grab some more rice, still thinking through his words.

Because of this trip, Bri's party which was scheduled for Thursday, November the twenty third was cancelled though not completely. We'll still cook up a feast and there will be plenty of cake for everyone, only that the location will be upcountry and Bri will get to mingle with her cousins, my nieces and nephews.

"I think that sounds okay. Since Mum and Shea will drive back and forth with my auntie and cousins, I think it will work out well."

We continue shopping while discussing our plans, moving at a much faster rate, since Bri opted to ditch us for my mum and Shea and when we're through, Troy and I have several sacks of sugar and rice, bales of wheat and maize flour, cooking oil in a twenty litre jelly cans, various codiments and snacks, blankets, duvets, and several outfits including shoes for my aging grandmother.

"I guess we will buy the rest when we get there," I tell Troy as we watch the supermarket attendants load the stuff into Bridget's trunk. "Bridget can only carry so much."

"Bridget?" Troy turns to me with a smirk.

"Yes, Bridget. My car." I tell him with a frown.

"Hey, I did mean it offensively. It's a nice name. It's got a nice ring to it."

My frown grows deeper.

"Are you mocking me, Troy White?" I ask sternly and the smile falls completely off his face.

"Attara, I didn't mean it offensively. It just came to me as a surprise that you gave your car a name."

I think of what to answer next, but my mind draws a blank, my exhaustion finally catching up with me.

"Whatever, let's go. I'm very hungry." I wave him off as I drop into the driver's seat. Come to think of it, I haven't had anything since morning. Either that or I am 'PMS'ing and my hormones are making me cranky.

"Let me treat you to dinner then." Troy says taking the seat next to me and I let out a laboured breath.

"What is it with you and treating me today? Isn't it enough that I let you take Bri and I for holiday and pay for grandmother's stuff?"

"Attara..." Troy mumbles softly.

"You know what? Let's just get home, I am not in the mood to talk."

Troy nods grimly and I start up Bridget ready to drive back home. A part of me feels guilty for snapping at him and I send up a little prayer of repentance. However, I do not apologise or tell him anything more. I don't trust myself to do so, since I am still feeling cranky and my emotions are all over the place.

My terrible mood follows me all the way home and I am surprised to find Shea back home. However, my mother is notably absent and so are Bri and Maggie.

"Where's Bri?"

"Upstairs."

I nod and begin to move, trapping whatever she had to say next in her throat.

"What's up with her?" I am not too far away, so I hear her ask Troy. However, I am too tired to react so I keep on walking.

"She's just tired." Troy defends me, letting out a chuckle. I don't know how he does it, but for some reason he is able to keep an air of calm even when it feels like the world is crumbling from the inside.

"Did she chew you up on the way here?"

I do not wait to hear his response as I breeze into Bri's room at that precise moment and begin to pack her things.

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My study door creaks open and I look up from my desk to see Shea peeking. I acknowledge her presence with a glance and turn back to my work still feeling prickly.

I did not sleep well. Dominic woke me up early in the morning with a call about an email carrying an attached copy of the agreement, the printed piece of paper that I am going through right now.

"What?" I finally say after I notice that my sister is just standing there, staring without saying anything.

"I'm gauging your mood. Seems to me that you're still very prickly."

"Shea..." I warn. "I am not in the mood so get on with it." I grind out still studying the paper. There's really no way out this. I will have to part with a few of my millions and even though it's for a good cause, it doesn't hurt any less.

"Fine. David is here and mum is calling about when we are leaving. Grace says we're supposed to meet them at a place called Ruiru in less than thirty minutes."

"Tell them to make it an hour. I have something I need to take care of urgently."

"But mum..." Shea protests.

"Tell her it's important. She'll understand." I snap back, picking up my phone to call my banker. Shea lingers at the doorway for a while and I shoot her a sharp look. Her eyebrows shoot up to her hair line and she scrams out of the room, leaving me with the privacy I desired.

Twenty five minutes later, and two point five million shillings poorer, I bundle myself into the passenger seat next to David and mourn the lose of my money all the while reassuring myself that investing in my parents is a fair deal. The rest of the party notices my sombre mood and Shea is quick to change rides once we meet up with the others at Ruiru.

Caleb also swaps vehicles, complaining of the excessiveness of estrogen that is in the other vehicle. Both David and Troy give him an amused look, but it's Bri's reaction that gets me. She starts out looking curious before deciding that he's too peculiar and finally she regards him with a weirded out expression that is closely resembling a sneer. Even from the rearview mirror, the scene is so funny that without planning to I find myself cracking up as my foul mood finally dissipates.

"I'm glad my pain makes you smile Attara." Caleb grumbles as he settles back into the backseat with a frown.

"Quit being a drama queen. You're weirding Bri out." At that Caleb turns to Bri and pouts. The little girl's almost sneer turns into a horrified look and she reaches out her hand to capture my attention.

"Mum...uncle Caleb is going to cry." Briella lets out a panicked sound and the rest of us struggle to stiffle our laughter.

"Never mind him. He's just a big baby." I reply and Bri's horrified expression turns into one of curious mirth.

"Does grandma Asterid change his diaper." Caleb's jaw drops at the comment and the rest of are unable to continue holding back our laughter. As a result,

David bursts out laughing and Troy lets out a chuckle.

"Attara! Your daughter is a meanie, just like you." Caleb protests scowling at the now grinning Bri.

"Take it like a man Caleb or I might just begin to believe that you're a big sissy just like she thinks you are." Caleb glares at me and I burst out laughing. We continue with the easy banter, until Bri falls asleep and we are forced to tone it down for her sake.

"It's lovely." Troy comments looking at the passing greenery, that lines the Nairobi-Meru highway. It's November, the beginning of the short rains and because of that, everything around is really green.

"If you follow this road, it will take you all the way to Ethiopia."

"Really?" He asks curiously. "And what's that?" He adds pointing at the rice paddocks that make up Mwea Irrigation scheme.

"Rice fields." David responds to him. We come up behind a donkey drawn cart and Troy shakes Bri out of her sleep so that she can see it.

"Look Bri, a donkey."

The little girl strains her still sleepy eyes to peer outside and when she sees it, those green orbs light up in delighted surprise.

"Do you know what kind of sound a donkey makes?" David asks and Briella shakes her head.

"Eee hoo! Eee hoo! Eee hoo!" David says and Bri squeals out laughing. She tries to make the sound and both Troy and I join in, making it into some sort of braying festival.

"What's that noise!" Caleb asks as he finally stirrs rom his deep sleep grumbling.

"Eee hoo!" Bri says next to his ear and he jumps up in surprise, causing us to double down with laughter, all at his expense. Even Troy, the stature of good manners and sensibility bellows out laughing instead of chuckling back softly like he normally does.

"Good Lord Attara! What do you feed this thing?" he says pointing at my darling daughter. "She's more obnoxious than you ever were!"

I should have known he would go there. That statement opens up the pandora's box that is my childhood and Caleb, now encouraged by those two traitors Troy and David, begins on a very exaggerated and overembellished story of our childhood. Unfortunately, I do not recall most of it and because of that I am rendered unable to defend myself, especially when I'm painted the atrocious villain and him, he choses to be the innocent and pitiable victim that suffered painfully at my hands.