Chapter 6
1189 Words
6
You weren’t supposed to say that.
I sink into the scent: not just lavender, but vanilla, too. Sarah was right: heavenly. The dog stretches out on the rug beside the tub. Peace has descended on the land.
He wasn’t supposed to say that.
It’s tricky, traveling across space and time.
Especially when things have already changed on their own before you even got here.
I sort of noticed it in the moment, but then there was so much else going on. The formality: it wasn’t just an act for the other people, it was real. There was no secret eye contact, no “Wait until we’re alone again—I’m going to kiss you straight out of your mind” kinds of looks. The way Jake was acting toward me was true.
There’s nothing going on between us this time. Our past together was already different before I showed up today.
And I didn’t do a thing to make that happen.
Same with Red’s reaction to him: crazy different. Last time, Jake completely endeared himself to Red by the end of the first day, throwing a stick for him over and over and over while Red chased it into the freezing ocean. Unless Jake secretly kicked Red this afternoon while I wasn’t looking, their relationship was already different by the time I got here.
So what does that mean?
That’s the point: it’s not enough to see it, I have to understand the why behind it.
For all I know, my whole survival might rely on some very subtle whys.
Because if I just keep going along, making decisions and choices based on only partial clues or evidence I’m in too much of a hurry to notice, I might end up right where I was last time, leaving this life way too early before I have a chance to reclaim the life I really want.
I sink all the way underwater. Let myself float. Block out the world for as long as I can.
What do I know? That’s the most important question right now. Not just what do I think or believe, but what do I actually know?
My physics teacher Mr. Dobosh said something in class once that really stuck with me: about how all these great scientists in the past—the real pioneers who were willing to risk their careers and sometimes even their lives in pursuit of the truth—had to learn to recognize truth in the first place. They had to be willing to free their minds from what everyone else told them was true—that the heavens revolved around the earth, for example, or that a particular disease was caused by rats, or whatever someone’s parents or society or other scientists had said—and instead go on this journey of discovery where they looked at everything fresh again. Asked questions. Assumed nothing.
I suppose you could say that’s how I’ve ended up exactly where I am right now. Some physicists, including Mr. Dobosh, don’t believe parallel universes exist. I thought they might. So I set out to experiment with that, and here I am.
I come up for air and announce to the dog, “I’m a pioneer.” He thumps his tail on the rug. “Yeah, I know. Big deal. Figure it out.” I sink under the water again and blow some bubbles. I’m sure Einstein used to do that, too.
So, Audie Masters, what do you know is true?
This is not my original body. This is not my original universe.I know those two things for sure.
The last time I checked, Halli Markham was inhabiting my original body in my former universe. I briefly shared that body, so I know that much is true. I know that I have been in Halli’s body in this universe one time before this. I have specific memories of that life, starting with waking up in her body in her bedroom in Colorado, and ending with me dying in a hospital bed—Stop. Do I really know that for sure? That I died? Did I really see it or experience it?
Well, not exactly. I sort of left that movie early. I remember feeling tremendous pain and then deciding I didn’t want that anymore. Next thing I knew, I was floating for a while, feeling very peaceful and pleasant again, and then I found my old body sleeping in my old bedroom. What a happy discovery that was. But then it all ended up in that fight with Halli, and then she pushed me out—
Stop. Do you really know that?
I felt a push.
Can you say with one hundred percent certainty that Halli is the one who did that? That she’s the reason you left?
Okay, no, not a hundred percent. So that one goes in the Maybe pile, along with the dying. Maybe those two things happened, but a true scientist wouldn’t assume. So I won’t.
So where does that leave me?
I know where I am, I know who I am … and that’s about it. I don’t know what’s going on with Halli right now or with my old body and my old world, because if things have already changed here, maybe they’ve changed there, too. I have no way of knowing. I’d have to guess.
There’s a gentle knock at the bathroom door. “Halli, we found him,” Daniel says, keeping his voice low. “I thought you’d like to know.”
“Yeah, I did. Thanks.”
“And your driver brought your luggage,” he adds. “I’ll leave it outside the door.”
“Thanks, Daniel. I appreciate it.”
I splash downward one more time, just to dunk my whole self in oblivion one last time. But I’m not here to lounge around in a tub for a while, no matter how much I’d love to.
I climb out and dry off and wrap the towel around me. Then I open the door and retrieve my duffel.
There’s a note on top, written on stationery from the inn where we dropped off Jake.
I have a message from your parents. Please come see me whenever it’s convenient. Jake
It will never be convenient to deal with Halli’s parents. I shove the note to the bottom of the duffel and change into a pair of jeans and some thick socks and a long-sleeved T-shirt.
As I comb out my long wet hair, I study my reflection in the mirror. I remember watching one of Halli’s memories where she was still trying to get used to living inside my body. She stood in front of my bathroom mirror at home, brushing my teeth. She leaned in close to look herself in the eyes. And wondered if she could see herself looking back.
So who are we? Who am I? Last time, Professor Whitfield called me Halli 2. He said Halli 1 was gone forever—killed in that avalanche I tried to save her from.
So I suppose when Halli took over my body, she became Audie 2.
And now I’m Halli 3.
I don’t want that. I don’t want to be Halli at all.
Audie 3. A new creature. That’s who I am this time.
Although no one gets to know that but me. Everything bad that happened last time started because I revealed who I was. That’s a mistake I won’t repeat.
I kneel down next to Red. I hug him around his thick, furry neck and whisper, “You think I’m Halli, don’t you?” He thumps his tail and licks my lavender and vanilla cheek.
It’s time to go contact Dr. Venn. And make sure he knows I’m Halli, too.
- Writer
