Chapter 4
1205 Words
4
“No, but you must come!” Sarah says, holding tightly to Bryan’s arm. “What could possibly be more enchanting than sitting in a café with me and thrilling me with more of your stories while I gaze adoringly into your eyes?”
Sarah is just teasing him, the way I’ve seen her flirt with guys before, but there clearly is a lot of adoration there—it’s just coming from the other direction. Bryan looks miserable about having to leave us. Good. He caused me a lot of pain. And if he’s only just realizing he made a bad deal with me by agreeing to disappear for a few days, that’s his problem, not mine. I have no pity for him.
“Off we go,” I tell Sarah and the others. Jake doesn’t even try to sit in the back with us—Red has made it clear he’s not welcome. So he sits up front next to the driver while Sarah and Daniel and the dog and I load into the back.
And there I am, in the reflection of the car window: Halli Markham, in the flesh, no question about it. That’s her long, thick hair. Her broad shoulders and muscular frame. Her.
I may never look like myself again. Maybe it’s time to accept that.
My old, original body doesn’t want me anymore. It threw me out, like a body rejecting an organ transplant. I could feel myself being squeezed. Pushed. I wasn’t welcome anymore.
Or maybe it wasn’t entirely my body’s choice. Halli had a part to play. She wanted one thing, I wanted another, and ultimately the stronger of us won.
I was too weak for my own body to want me anymore. It preferred a better owner. How’s that for a bitter truth?
Sarah reaches across the seat to clutch my hand. “Halli Markham, how lovely to have you back with us. Although I do wish you’d brought your cousin along! Poor Dan here is utterly forlorn. Aren’t you, Daniel?”
“Forlorn,” he agrees, humoring her.
“Don’t pretend you’re unaffected,” his sister says. “I could tell many a tale of how you’ve been moping about the house this past week, pining for a certain someone.”
Daniel ignores her. “Any chance she’ll come?” he asks me.
I hesitate, then shake my head. It won’t do either of us any good for me to pretend otherwise.
“Shame,” he says.
“Yeah,” I agree. I glance down before I can fall into the trap of gazing too intently into his eyes. Look, it’s me in here! Can’t you see? This isn’t a game. Knowing who I am only leads to trouble.
I clear my throat and give Red a solid scratch behind the ear. “Okay, so change of plans: we’re not going to a café right now—” I hold up my hand before Sarah can object. “—because I’d rather go straight to your house. I’ve been listening to that man Mr. Chilton drone on all day, and I have a headache like you wouldn’t believe. I’m hoping your very tiny house has at least one decent-sized bathtub,” which I know it does, “so I can soak for a little while. I’m afraid I won’t be very good company until I do.”
Now it’s Sarah who looks forlorn. “Oh. All right, then … only … I may have invited a few friends …”
I remember. Two very nice girls from Sarah’s school. But those hours I spent at the café that afternoon ended up being a huge waste of time. Plus the whole thing wasn’t exactly relaxing. Daniel was still in shock from me telling him who I really was, and he and Jake were already brewing up the rivalry that would eventually end in my death. If Jake hadn’t been so jealous, he never would have tried to follow Daniel and me the next day. Then Sarah led him and Bryan right to us, and everything went wrong from there.
So I can think of a lot better things to do with my time right now than to go back to that café. I’d rather find someplace where I can be alone and finally have the chance to think.
“I promise I’ll meet your friends some other time,” I tell Sarah, even though I have no intention of doing that. This isn’t a vacation. I’m not here to socialize and play.
While Sarah gives the driver the address to her house, then makes a quick comm call to her friends telling them we won’t be there, I hold a quiet conversation with Daniel.
“Audie really wanted to come.”
“I understand,” he says. “We knew … it might be difficult.”
Back when he first met me, the only impediments were time zone and whether Halli and I could sync up so I could travel over to this universe. Those were the easy days.
“How is she?” he asks.
“She’s fine. She … misses you.” It’s a risk, but I have to say it. He’s right here and I need to say it. I just make sure I’m not actually looking at him right now.
“You said you had other things to talk to me about.”
“I do,” I say. “We will.”
Then Sarah is done, and so are we.
Their neighborhood is nice, very English, and I’ve been here before. What I didn’t notice before was the inn. No surprise, since there are no signs out front or any other indication that’s what it is.
“Should we invite him for supper?” Sarah asks as the driver pulls up in front.
“No,” I answer. “He’ll be fine.”
I lower the window just enough to hear what Jake has to say. Red growls so loudly I can barely make it out.
“Tomorrow!” Jake finally shouts.
“Maybe,” I shout back, then I raise the window again. I don’t mind saving his job and keeping him from being homeless, but that’s as far as my charity goes. And I especially don’t plan on having him tag along on the excursion I intend to take tomorrow.
“Wait here,” Sarah tells me when the car pulls up in front of her house. “My parents don’t know you’re staying over yet—you’re meant to be a surprise. They think they’re not meeting you until the party.”
The party. Right. Sarah and Daniel’s father’s birthday. Last time I missed it because I was in the hospital. And there was a bit of extra cleanup ahead of the party thanks to poor Red flipping out and tearing their house apart because I wasn’t with him.
I’ll have to make it up to all of them this time.
“Come on, Dan,” Sarah says. “You and I go in first. I’ll wave to you when it’s time,” she tells me. Then the two of them exit the car and head up the walkway into their narrow, two-story house.
I’m suddenly exhausted. I’ve been thinking so hard and performing so hard for the past hour or so, it’s finally all catching up with me. I’m glad I came up with the excuse of a hot bath. I need a good long stretch of quality time with myself to try to get a grip on all of this.
Sarah is waving to me from the doorway. Inside that house are the two people who hold the key to what I need to know. I need to decide what to say—how much to say. And how much of it I want to Daniel to know ahead of time. I’m going to need his help. But he has to think he’s helping Halli, not me.
My head is pounding. That part of my excuse to Sarah wasn’t a lie.
Now she’s standing on her porch, jumping up and down and waving wildly because she thinks I don’t see her. It’s sweet how enthusiastic she is about Halli. And how nice she’s always been to me. I obviously have my own problems to deal with here, but there’s no reason I can’t be a good sport with her while I’m at it.
“Come on,” I tell the dog. “Show time.”
- Writer
