My Ex Almost Broke Me

I miss her

Even though the last 2 times we saw each other she treated me like trash. I miss my wife so much it hurts. I have to keep myself busy to avoid calling her. I don’t know why I thought it wasn’t going to be hard. I lied to myself.

“It’s okay my boy,” said my dad rubbing my back. “We may not fully understand what you’re going through but always know and remember that we are here for you.” I can only smile and nod. This means so much to me. Knowing my family is there through thick and thin.

“I’m exhausted,” I tell my family. I never thought I’d find myself here. It’s not the end of the world, but it feels like it.

“Lie down on the couch,” said my mom. Since we got back from Sibu’s house she’s been making me sleep in the sitting room with Senkosi. She’s worried that I might commit suicide when I’m alone in my bedroom. It hurts, a lot. But I wouldn’t do that to myself and my family. I still want to be a father, I’m not sure about getting married again, but I still want to be a father. So I do as my mom says, I lie on the couch.

When I wake up I see my brother staring at me. He looks so emotional.

“What’s up?” I asked him, sitting up.

“Are you ever going to be okay?”

“Yes, I will be. It may not be today or tomorrow, but eventually I will be okay.”

“This is the reason I’m scared of getting married. What if she does what Sibu did?” I can understand his fears.

“Marriage is a huge step. It’s okay to get scared. But don’t look at what happened between me and Sibu. It wasn’t meant to be. But look at mom and dad, they’ve been together for almost 30 years. Those are the people you should be looking at. And remember not every girl is going to be like Sibu.” He looks like he wants to say something but he stops and he looks away.

“What is it?” He won’t tell me until my parents and I dig out of him. And it’s great news. “I was waiting for the anniversary to pass so I didn’t steal Bukhosi’s spotlight. But I want you guys to meet someone. I think I want to marry her. She-“ my mom jumps at him before he finished. My parents have been waiting for this day for years. Senkosi mouths sorry when I look at him.

“Don’t be,” I told him rubbing his back. I’m really okay. I’m not hurt or mad at my brother, instead I am happy for him and my parents. They’ve always wanted this.

“Is she pregnant?” asked my dad after some time. This question offends my mom not Senkosi.

“Two weeks ago he told us he isn’t getting married. So why the change of heart so sudden?” And I have to agree with my dad on this one. But I keep my opinion to myself.