Lycan's Fiery Mate

|| Chapter 1 ||

You should never love someone more than yourself.

My mother used to tell me this when I was young, but I never believed her words.

I thought she wanted to turn me like she is, a cold-hearted, manipulative and selfish woman, so I didn't get her in my head when I lived under her shadow. But I regret it now for not listening to her and feeling like a fool for falling for that man and trusting him with my life, only for him to leave my heart wounded, questioning my loyalty and ridiculing my feelings for him in front of his pack.

"You're not supposed to be here."

I see the terror in her eyes for me.

It has to be a foreign feeling for her as I am sure she's never felt like standing on the same ground with her enemies.

But she still looks prepared.

Very.

In those elements she has mastered after years of her prayers and devotion to the deities, I sense the presence of their power playing on the tips of her fingers. But she can't hurt me with her power, not when she has this office built magic_proof to catch the assassins.

My eyes take the changes around us, and I spot a new frame hanging on the wall over the fireplace between two wooden book_racks, where In the old ones, it was only us, me and my mother, but now..., now I am replaced with someone she calls her only family.

My heart aches at its sight. The burning tears in my eyes cause my vision to blur, making me feel empty inside.

"Ruthelle Arriens, what made you barge into my office at this hour, at this appearance?"

Her eyes, which held disgust for me earlier, again narrow down to me to take a closer look this time, and I notice how a sudden horror flashes on her as her gaze casts on my crimson hands. "Where is my M-Merci?" Her voice wavers in dread.

That desk she would not likely have crossed earlier, she crossed it and walked past me, stumbling her way over the scattered books, broken vases, and exquisite wine goblets shattered all over the moment I barged into her office with force.

I stay rooted in my place, eyes taking every detail of my surroundings. So many changes I notice here, yet a pang of pain every moment I feel in my chest whenever my gaze lands on that photo frame as if I've never meant anything here.

But I have to hold back. My weakness can become the bane of my existence, and I don't want to show my emotions to anyone.

"Where is he, Ruth?"

I turn around after hearing her heavy steps behind me, her neatly tied blonde hair like mine looking disheveled and eyes holding a mixture of horror and a hint of vulnerability as she darts her gaze at me. The first one has to be for witnessing the bodies of her guards I have lined up all over the hallways near her chamber, and the latter one must be the fear of losing the person she loves.

"Do you want to know that?"

Asking, I walked to the other side of her desk and then took her seat right before her.

No one could ever think of taking this seat one day, and I know by the look of her that she won't hesitate to tell me how ungrateful I am and also remind me how much she now regrets bringing me here to give me a life my father could never afford. She thinks she saved me. She did this to show the whole kingdom how kind she was to take the initiative to raise an abandoned child as her own.

"The audacity of you to bite on the hand that feeds you!"

She bites out, enraged. No matter how terrified she becomes after witnessing the mess I made in her coven, she has that in her to fight back, one of the traits I got from her. "If anything happens to my son, I will never forgive you for that."

I tilt my head, amused by her.

Like every mother, her heart clenches in worry for her fourteen-month-old little innocent son.

Like those wounded mothers, this woman before me is also on the verge of losing her mind, but I feel no remorse for her.

"It's time, Ruth," Kikira, dressed in a brown fur coat over a long coat with a vest jacket on like mine, enters the chamber with our warriors and some royal guards from the Shadowcrest Kingdom. Positioning behind my mother, she forcibly puts a magic-blocking bracelet on my mother's wrist, then says, "The royal guards are waiting at the border to take the traitor to the dungeon."

My gaze shifts to my mother, and I see a flash of anger and fear in her eyes.

She screamed at me, struggling her best to break through all the restraints around her. "I know what I did with you was wrong, but I only wanted you to make things up to you. I planned to tell everyone that you are my daughter..., my blood, La Miza. You belong here, not among those poor dogs. You have a brother now too. Is it wrong of me to want you back?"

After doing all those things with me, strangely, she doesn't look guilty even in the slightest.

"You made my father disappear from my life before, and now, I am taking your son away from you." Taking a shaky breath, I tell her the harsh reality she may face in her life in the dungeon. A lone tear rolls down my cheek that I don't mind wiping, "To the hell, you put me through, I will make him pay the price for you. I'll, mother, and nothing can stop me from doing that to you."

A killing instinct flashes in her eyes, but she knows she can't do anything to me with powerful warlocks and witches circling her.

I lock my eyes with Kikira. "Bring the guards now."

"No, you can't do this to me! You're doing this for that wolve you fall for, right? Then take me to him. I'll tell him the truth."

Too late to regret, mother.

I glare at her hard and say nothing.

Blake Benetton was the man I ever fell for from the bottom of my heart.

It happened so fast that I couldn't stop myself from giving in to that new kind of good feeling.

I was short of money back then after traveling so long. I didn't escape with all my savings from the coven where I grew up under the Queen's watchful eyes and strict rules, the rules that were only applicable to me, but not to the other witches and warlocks my age.

I was supposed to be looking for my father, who I know is still alive. Not having much money in my hand, I had to do part-time jobs in the local infirmary stores or bars & restaurants, and there, on a very fateful day, I ran into Blake, who was also traveling like me.

We had a small chat..., and being as shy and introverted as I am, I couldn't have a good conversation with him. I couldn't help but watch him every time he passed by my workplace. Lord, I'd never felt bored doing it, and I felt like I had all the time a day for him.

He was looking for a Peruvian white mage. From the information he gathered about the elderly witch, he told me she stayed in the nearby village where we lounged in Peru. I promised to help him to find her, only to end up getting cornered by that witch and her sisters, who told Blake that if anyone could heal his father, it would be me, when I knew for sure I didn't have that power in me to take that responsibility to heal the former alpha of the Black Onyx Pack under the Basville Kingdom in the Southern Nations.

The sense of betrayal in his eyes clenched my heart then, but I didn't have an excuse to make him. Luciana, the Queen of the Lunar Coven, told me I was born with nothing, so I paid no heed to it and put all my focus on every lesson I was offered and became one of the best in sword fights and other combats against both men and women in the coven, along with the Shadowcrest Kingdom.

I didn't believe the ancient mage when they said I would figure out a way to cure Blake's father, but I still went with him to his pack as I could not bear the pain in his eyes. He didn't ask me what I was doing in Peru, and I thought he knew, but I was wrong.

Blake had to offer me a job as a royal healer to me to get rid of the rumors.

I thought I had it figured out to heal his father after my eight years of practice. But after the severe deterioration of the king's health, Blake's true face slowly began to clear to me. In anger, he ridiculed me for my feelings, bringing my status of being poor, and that was what he thought about me after meeting me in a town in Peru, seeing my struggle to make ends meet, even though all I was doing there was to earn some money before leaving for a search for that village where I used to live with my beloved father.

But I don't want him anymore.

I don't want that person who broke my heart, ridiculed me, and then wanted me dead for avenging his father's death.

Soon as Kikira returns with the royal guards and the king's advisor, my mother starts shouting and screaming at me upon realizing where she may end up after stepping out of this land. She struggles in the guards' hold, but they are too strong for a witch like her, who no longer has any power left in her. They drag her outside, and her screams echo all around the hallway.

"Without me, you're nothing! I take you in, build you, and give you the title of the warrior princess, but what did I get in return? You'll regret doing this to me soon. You may again fall for someone someday, but you will never get happiness being in love."

Her voice starts to fade slowly, but the chaos she has left here will stay and echo in my mind forever. The words left behind are hurtful. No one can ever erase that from my heart, no matter how much they try. I have to bear my already wounded heart.

I wish I could ask her what my fault was, which made her hate me so much that she didn't even spare the person I ever fell for the first time in my life. I would have forgiven her. I would have given her a chance to make things up for me by bringing my father back to me. But no! She had to take everything, every goddam reason that may bring a smile to my face, make me feel alive.

"Ruth,"

Kikira returns to the chamber, standing behind me. The compassion in her voice clenches my heart. I keep my back facing her. I don't want her to see me because I am scared I may lose control of my emotions. Taking a deep breath, I ask, "What is it?"

Kikira sighs heavily. "Lady Martha is expecting a word from you."

I nod to her, telling her to continue.

I signed an agreement with Prince Nathaniel. I put all my savings in it for my warriors' welfare that I earned from the Basville kingdom after working there as the royal healer for seven years. Are they going against their word now? Then Merci would be left with nothing, and the same goes for me, Kikira, and others, who desperately need a place to live to get away from the enemies we made during the last few years for our survival, for weakling Luciana by taking down her acquaintances one after another.

"A few of your mother's supporters want to leave this kingdom. You, you know what it means." Kikira pauses for a moment. "Quentin probably has come up with something, I guess. So now, he's waiting to hear your conditions before taking action."

"They can go anywhere they want. I won't hold back anyone here." I murmur, my anger simmering in my tone. "But if they dare to set their foot on the human territories, or anywhere near the packs, covens, and kingdoms we are or aren't allied with, I will have to place an open contract for their heads, along with those who would think of overcrossing me, and I will do that no matter what."

She gasps behind me, not believing what I said.

I am no longer that young girl in love she used to know, and she doesn't know whether it's a good thing or...,

"Are you... sure you want this, Ruth?"

She tries to sound strong, but her voice betrays her.

I stayed quiet with my back still facing her.

She is not going to get any explanation from me, still. It is not because I don't trust her, because I do more than my own shadow.

Distancing myself from her won't hurt her physically.

I know she will get over it sooner.

She takes her to leave silently without another word.

Pushing her away from me was never my intention.

I hope she will understand my reasons one day and stop blaming herself for everything.

I am glad she's avoided the question of whether I am okay or told me that I am strong and that this time would pass.

How do others do that? I still don't know.

It doesn't work that way. Those comforting words never make me feel good but awful instead.

I am not okay. I will never be there until and unless I destroy my mother and find that old hut of my father.

My attention shifts to the side, and I see that familiar view of the evergreen forest through the window.

When I was young, Luciana used to leave me alone in the woods, blindfolded. She never paid heed to my fear or plea to take me back with her, that I would never ask my father to her again, in her coven. That was what she liked to do for me, to be dependent on her, to live under her shadow till my last breath. Going against her means asking for death. Like my mother, she couldn't do that to me, but she made sure to make a fool out of myself the moment I decided to make a move on the man I loved.

But I don't want him anymore.

I promise myself today to erase her from my memory.

There won't be anything that will remind me of her. Merci, that infant brother of mine, will never know about his parents. He doesn't need anyone when he has his elder sister. I hope I can get his forgiveness one day, even when I know I shouldn't put so much expectation on him. He couldn't forgive me, not when he would grow up, hearing rumors about me being a sociopath witch who killed her one-year-old brother soon after throwing her mother in prison to get the power of the Lunar Coven...,