Mafia Guard Loves the Daughter

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How Often do the stars Speak to you?

The first time I have ever loved the stars was when I was four. My mother and I were running from somewhere in the dark of night. She held my hand as tight as she could and continued to firmly pull me towards a destination that I don’t remember. It was so long ago, but I remember looking at Cassiopeia in the sky. The reason why or where we’re running, I have already forgotten.

The stars? I was able to remember every blink of it in the dark inky sky. I remember my heart beating so wildly and heavily that it started to hurt. Started to feel as if my heart was choking and killing me, but I didn’t die. I just stared and stared even when my mother carried me inside a car.

I scurried to the side and continued to glue my face to the window. I didn’t know it then, but it was Cassiopeia in the sky then Ariadne and Orion. So many of the stars continued to exist.

WE. ARE. HERE.

They continued to wink in and out of existence in the dark sky. The moon illuminated everything, but not that night. It was a crescent moon and there were no streetlamps as my mom drove us somewhere.

IAM.HERE. I whispered back.

No one answered, but it didn’t matter to me. The stars found me.

The envelopes in my hands were hefty. Years’ worth of hard work and struggle to get to this point filled me with so much relief and joy. But here I am. Standing in the back alley of my mother’s workplace. The four thick envelopes tipped on the rim of a trashcan.

It hurts. But the debts that would haunt me would be far worse.

I finally found the strength to push the letters away, my fingers ran through the surface as it dropped to the bottom of the trash with a soft thud. I stare at the bareness and bleakness of my hopes and dreams on the bottom of the barrel.

I smile. An act of revolution against the pain.

I took the lid from the ground and covered the trash from open view. It didn’t hurt less, but it gave me enough courage to turn and never look back.

The tears came as soon as I turned. My heart was broken to a degree I hadn’t felt before. I keep telling myself that life is supposed to be difficult. I can learn to let go.

School is filled with so much life and enthusiasm. It is the first day of school and my classmates and I are seniors starting now. I don’t remember arriving at the front of my school, but I stared and stared at the letters at the entrance.

Mckley High West

Anagrams helped my nerves before, and I hate that it's futile now. I must have stood there for so long because a lot of the students were staring at me. No amount of obliviousness would make me not notice how strange I seem. Yet I couldn’t find the urge to move.

Bam!

The burn in my knees pulled my consciousness to the present. My hands planted firmly on the concrete as I looked up and saw Angela’s mock apologetic expression. Her glossy lips were in a weird smile, unsure whether to smile with pity or amusement.

“Oh, I didn’t see you there” She quickly turned back to her friends. Their clique quickly made their way toward the building. “Learn to move next time!”

I sigh.

“You heard her” The direction of his voice made me look up. Amber gems in September met my boring-colored eyes. “You shouldn’t be standing in the way.”

I look back down and pull myself to my feet. I don’t look at his eyes again as I feel my wounded knees cling to the fabric of my jeans. “Noted” I nodded before finally making my way towards the entrance doors.

Reminding myself of the rules he set in stone about our social interactions at school. I quickly went to my locker and left my large back in it before making my way to Professor Kurch’s room. The school setting is unorthodox compared to other public school system.

For students like me with classes in advanced classes and no priors in the school system, I could miss class and study on my own as long as I keep my standing in school in the top rank. A bit more competitive than other schools, but it only is if you’re competitive.

I don’t know Professor Kurch’s schedule yet, so I peeked into her room through the glass window of her door. She’s standing at the front of the class teaching familiar faces and not-so-familiar faces.

My eyes found the same Amber gems from earlier and his friends. They don’t notice me, but Professor Kurch does and waves at me with a smile and motions for me to come in, while talking about something with the class.

He finally noticed me from the door, but I quickly ducked away. I crumpled to the floor next to the door and took out my research materials for my classes. I waited and as I waited, I studied and read all the materials.

Time went faster that way and before I knew it, students were filing out of class and Professor Kurch was patting my shoulder. She slumps to the ground with me with a wide smile.

“You could have gone in”

“I could have, but I chose to stay here” I smile back. It’s easy to smile at someone so kind. “I didn’t want to ruin the first day of class for you.”

She scoffs. Her red lips stretched into a cheeky grin. “Come on in, I don’t have class till the next hour”

I followed her. I almost turned back when I spotted his gem eyes and his two friends still in their seats, but I ignored them instead. My usual seat is on the first lab desk in the middle, it’s a bit dirty but I quickly put away the paper cups and put my things on the surface.

“So, it's the senior year” Professor Kurch leans onto my desk. Her hair was still tucked tightly in her ponytail as the day just started.

I hear a chair scraping. A shuffle.

I smile “It is”

“and…?” She trails. Brows raised.

“I sent the letters” I almost said the words through gritted teeth. The lie weighed heavily down my spine. “Before you know it, I’ll be leaving these doors to a university”

Professor Kurch jumped up and down with glee. “Oh! Oh! I just know you’re going to get into MIT.”

“MIT was one of those choices.”

“You’re going to get into every school.”

I force the smile to stay on my face. “Yeah, one can dream.”

“Oh, little Einstein.” She chuckles. “You look incredibly nervous but don’t worry. I know what would distract you.”

She goes to the back of the room. The room was empty now with just the two of us as she took something out of the drawers. It doesn’t take long till she’s carrying a rolled-up paper and unfurling it in front of me.

“Here”

I gaze at the paper. The familiar constellations and stars are staring back at me. “What is this? It looks like a normal night sky. Around summertime”

She smiles. “It’s the night that you were born.”

I froze.

“You forgot, didn’t you?”

I grimace. “It’s my birthday.”

She leans towards me as if whispering a secret. “Your mom must be so excited to celebrate it with you, but you were too excited to send the letters.”

I purse my lips. Half of it was true, but at least half of it is. “She had to go to work early in the morning and I wanted to pass by her office, but I did have to send the letters” I reason. It sounds so convincing now that I said the words, and she looks as if she believes me.

“I see,” She smiles. “I really do hope you have the best birthday day ever.—”

“Professor Kurch of Science lab 1012. Please proceed to—”

Professor Kurch groans. “Yes, I forgot to update the head about the leave of absence.”

I waved her goodbye as she left me in her room.

The mention of her leave made me look at her desk in the corner of the room. A small frame of her and her fiancé stands beside the monitor of her computer. She’s going to get married next month and I was invited to it as well.

Love, huh?

I let myself deflate on the table. No one was in the room except for me and I was able to let it all go, my grief and sadness, into tears. Mourning my dreams and accepting the guilt of lying to everyone.