Fifty years of Love & Secrets

H2. One thing will never change

I walk down the stairs and find my still beautiful wife downstairs in the kitchen. She’s wearing her bathrobe and her increasingly lightening hair in a braid, as she does every night before she goes to sleep. “Buongiorno bellezza mia.” (Good morning my beauty)

I walk into the kitchen and Bianca smiles, as she always has when I greet her in this way, her cheeks still turn a soft shade of pink when I take her in my arms and press my forehead against hers. Something that has never changed after all these years.

Bianca asked for three years, but those three eventually became five. It took five years for us to get married, Bianca twenty-three and I twenty-eight. It took another two years before she gave me our first son, Riccardo.

"Good morning." She answers and she closes her eyes.

I pull her closer to me and her arms close around me. Every morning it's the same thing. There's not a morning when I don't hold her.

In the past, it was not possible every morning. I was sometimes away. On a 'business trip' as I called it. Bianca knew what I was going to do, but we never talked about it. An agreement we made when we got married. I would keep her away from anything bad and that's what I did.

"Why are you out of bed this early?" I ask her as I let her go and kiss her on her soft lips.

"Matteo and Maria are coming tonight and they wanted to stay with us."

"With us? Why? Luca and Megan are going to the Lake House."

I am surprised that my brother and his wife would rather be with us than with their children and grandchildren. I would much rather be with my children and grandchildren if I had to go to New York and my children are also there than with Matteo and his wife.

I'm standing next to Bianca and we're looking at the list of names, the people we've all invited to our fiftieth wedding anniversary. I see that there are several new checkmarks behind the names. It will be a big party. Bigger than it would ever be in New York. We've invited more people because our family has grown and our lives have changed so much. Safer. I don't have to be careful with the people who come, they are safe for me and my family. That's the best decision we made thirteen years ago.

Bianca shakes her head. "No sweetheart." She pats me on the arm. As she always does when I haven't been paying attention. Then she walks to the pantry with a notepad and a pen.

She still makes lists on paper and takes them to the supermarket. The children have shown her several times how she can order groceries online on the computer or with her phone, pick them up, or even have them delivered to our house, but she refuses to do it. She only uses her phone to video call our many grandchildren, view all the videos and photos, and send messages to her daughters.

She puts her glasses on as she goes through the pantry. "Valentina called me yesterday, Vito and Leonora are also coming this weekend." She tells me about the biological parents of our adopted daughter Valentina. Officially I adopted her when she was a day old, but instinctively she is my daughter and that will never change. The same applies to Bianca. Valentina is our daughter.

"Valentina doesn't want them in the house, and the other children don't want them in the house either, so i tre capi" She means Vincenzo, Enrico, and Riccardo. The three bosses. "Have decided that Vito and Leonora have to go to the Lake House."

She writes on her notepad and sighs. Sometimes it is difficult to let go of our children, especially the subject of Valentina and her biological parents. Vito and I were able to put everything behind us. We talk to each other every two/three weeks, about his children, three of his boys live here now. Also about New York. I don't count him among my best friends, but he hasn't been my enemy for a long time. On the other hand, Bianca and Leonora, have become anything but friends. Bianca keeps herself strong for Valentina when Leonora is here, but Leonora doesn't miss an opportunity to criticize Bianca's parenting style and thus constantly provides her own daughter with criticism. As much as Valentina insists that Bianca is her mother and that she loves us more than her biological parents, Bianca finds it difficult. Bianca would take all the pain and discomfort away from Valentina if she could.

She turns around and takes off her glasses when she looks at me. The glasses hang on a beaded necklace around her neck. The beaded necklace that one of our granddaughters, Liona, made a few years ago. Big watery eyes look at me. Bianca's tears can force me to my knees faster than anything in the world.

"When I told Maria that Leonora was going there, Maria didn't want to stay there anymore. Luca had already heard it from Vincenzo so he goes to Riccardo, which is nice for the boys and Stefano goes to Marcello." She shakes her head and puts the paper on the counter. "Poor Vivian." She wipes away the tears from her eyes.

She would do the same for Vivian, who lost her mother at a young age and her father lost his life to the horrific world we lived in thirteen years ago. Bianca does everything for Vivian and for Bianca it's like she’s her own daughter too.

"She has Megan." I try to sound positive, but as a father of four boys, I remember how hard it was sometimes for Bianca at home. All my boys used to be wild. Riccardo and Lorenzo the most. Christiano was always friendly, but Marcello had something dark about him. All my boys needed a strict and clear upbringing.

Our son Riccardo and his wife Vivian have six boys. Six! And they are all exactly the Ferrante boys. Active, Wild, big mouth, and incredibly impatient and hot-tempered.

Luca and Megan have two boys, the same age as Riccardo and Vivian's oldest two. So for the boys very nice that they can all play together, but Vivian would have liked nothing more than to have a girl.

I take Bianca in my arms again and hold her tightly and kiss her forehead. She knows better than anyone what that is like. She also wanted nothing more than a girl, but unfortunately, you don't have to choose. That's why we adopted Valentina and raised her as a daughter of our own. If she hadn't fallen for Vincenzo Bellucci, we would never have told her. But then also, we would all have led a different life than we do now. And I couldn't be happier with what our lives are like now. Everyone safe and in my proximity.

"I have agreed with Maria that we will pick up the boys for a day, all the boys." She tells me and I start laughing and shake my head. "Of course you have." I let her go.

"Then Vivian has a moment for herself, or with Megan and the other girls. Valentina said they're taking Megan too for a girls' day on Thursday."

"Then we'll pick up the boys?" I ask. I know my wife well enough. Of course, she picks up all the boys, because she knows that Riccardo likes it when he doesn't have to take care of the children alone. He loves Vivian and all his children and he lets Vivian free in many things and do her own thing, but he likes that she takes care of the children. Always at home and that he can work. Just like it used to be with us. Riccardo is more old-fashioned and more like me than he wants to admit.

"Shall we do the shopping then?" I ask.

"We have to have breakfast first."

I shake my head. "Go. Change clothes, we eat at the sandwich shop before we do the groceries."

Bianca smiles at me and she walks up the stairs in front of me. "I also want to visit Grace, she needed some help with something in the club."

"Whatever you want sweetheart," I answer.

Bianca visits Grace at the club every week. She never says she's going to the club for Christiano, our son, and when she comes home and I ask about him, she shrugs her shoulders. She is happy with our sons, but the girls she is even happier with them.

I quickly pick up my phone to send some messages.

Me: How is Valentina?

I ask Vincenzo. I know Valentina gets stressed when Leonora and Vito come to Cliffs. Something she doesn't need with her busy family of seven children.

Me: Arrange a cleaning lady for the whole week for the Lakehouse.

I tell Christiano. He always takes care of that kind of thing and I don't want Valentina or the other ladies to be concerned with keeping the rooms that Leonora and Vito are going to use clean. Christiano is still the controller and mediator in our family. He is there for everyone and he has more of Bianca in him than of me. What is needed with his complex family, three older children of Grace, and his own three children with Grace.

Me: Make sure your wife can relax a bit this week, with all those men.

I tell Riccardo. Something I sometimes have to remind him of. I know how hard it was for Bianca at times and I only had four sons. He six! Fortunately, I know that the other girls always take Vivian with them when they do something with their daughters. All those girls are crazy with Vivian. I hope that it is now finished with all those children, Vivian does not want more, but Riccardo would still like to continue.

Me: check in with your sister, Lamberti comes into town.

I send it to Marcello. I'm sure he's heard it already.

Since we live here, Marcello and Valentina have grown closer together. Especially in recent years now that Marcello also has a family of his own. A family that I wonder if it is really done now.

Camilla has always been alone and wanted a big family, they now have five children. But I also know from Marcello that he would like more children and I know that Camilla thinks it's enough. I throw my phone aside and follow my wife up the stairs shaking her head.

One thing will never change, the men in this family gossip at least as much as the women, but they never call it gossip. They call it discussing and consulting. Where I know that one Italian family is already constantly interfering in each other's affairs, it is with three Italian families, much worse.