Fifty years of Love & Secrets

H4. It's going to be okay daddy.

After the incident with Valentina so many years ago, everything has changed. Marcello had the most trouble letting that go. He tried for years to restore contact between the family and Lorenzo, but for our father, Lorenzo, no longer existed. For our uncle Matteo and his two children, Luca and Stefano, he no longer existed. Matteo still prefers to see Lorenzo with a bullet between his eyes, if only for shooting his son Luca.

Riccardo was struggling with his own demons at the time. Half-taking over from Pa, the relationship between Valentina and Vincenzo. Vincenzo's anger, trying to put the years of feud behind us. He couldn't have Lorenzo there.

I've never been strong when it came to that kind of thing, so I focused on running the club, making sure our mom didn't go under. That was always my role in our family. If something happened, Riccardo acted. He was the boss, Marcello did what he was good at, together with Luca and I went to our parents. Keeping them busy, distracting them, and calmly explaining to them what would happen.

I shut myself off from all that and threw myself into work. And Grace. She was there at all those difficult moments and it was exactly that, why it took so long before she dared to tell me everything. She had seen up close how I deal with difficulties. I do everything I can to avoid having to deal with it. I put it away and it never comes up again. I walk away from the situation and distance myself.

Lorenzo sent us all letters, and he apologized, but too much was broken. He realized that too, so he stayed away.

"We haven't talked for years." Answer Marcello. "He must have heard something from Uncle Fabio, Valentina speaks to Uncle Fabio regularly."

As always, that's where our conversation ends. None of the three of us was comfortable enough to say more about it. No one ever discusses it with Valentina, afraid to hurt her. Afraid of Vincenzo's reaction when he sees her tears about Lorenzo. No one wants to see Vincenzo angry. He is the sweet father these days and still a loving husband to Valentina, but don't make the man angry. No one will ever forget how ferocious he was, how he put a loaded gun on my father's head, how he put his finger on the trigger with Lucio. If it wasn’t for Valentina, he pulled the damn thing.

Lorenzo is an unwritten forbidden subject. Our children don't even know he exists.

I have always told my children that Riccardo and Marcello are my brothers and Valentina my sister. I never told them about Lorenzo. Neither did Riccardo and neither did Marcello. I don't think Cam even knows about Lorenzo's existence. But I'm not sure, I see that Marcello is different with Cam. He's always very closed, but Grace said she heard that Marcello and Cam share everything.

"So, I'm going to call Luca, he's coming here with his plane, then I'll ask if he can take Lizzy." Riccardo gets up and walks out. Still a habit he has. Never call around others.

"Danilo wants a tattoo." Starts Marcello and the subject Lorenzo is closed for now and we talk about other things.

"Babe!" I walk into the house and the smell of apple pie meets me. I walk to the kitchen and see my daughter pulling a cake out of the oven. She puts the cake on the counter and closes the oven. "Hey, dad." She puts the oven gloves aside and comes over to hug me. I kiss her on top of her black hair and hold her tightly. Only when she lets go of her hands from my waist, do I let her go.

"Apple pie?" I ask, and she nods proudly. She walks back to the counter and I follow her. Where Lizzy looks exactly like Grace, Marlin is really a combination of both of us. My black hair, but the build and the beautiful green eyes of Grace. Like Grace, she is a bit quieter and more withdrawn, and often when she is with the other girls in the family, she is the one who first watches before she joins in. Marlin would rather read a book than run around outside, but she really loves to bake.

"Marlin! I told you to wait for me!" Grace walks into the kitchen and before she comes to me she walks to Marlin and the cake. She looks at Marlin's hands and pulls her into a hug. Marlin rolls her eyes at me, but also apologizes to her mother. "Sorry mom, I couldn't wait anymore." Grace lets go of her and kiss her forehead.

"She did a very good job," I tell her.

Grace looks at me with a warm smile and she comes to me. "I didn't hear you come in."

I take her in my arms and after all these years I still can't believe that I have the woman of my dreams in my arms. I kiss her nose and Grace sighs contentedly.

"Yeah, okay, uhm, the cake needs to cool down and I'm upstairs." Marlin sighs and quickly walks past us.

"The boys fitted their suits?" Grace asks and I nod.

"The suits for Nick and Cooper are upstairs, after dinner they have to try them on."

"Nick has to train tonight," I tell her. She frowns. "Isn't it too much for Nick?" she asks. "what?"

"He trains three times a week."

I walk with Grace to the back door, onto the porch, and sit down with her on the swing sofa. There are sheepskins on it and in this place, the sun shines all afternoon. So even now in the spring, it is wonderfully warm to sit here. Grace leans against me as we look over our garden together. In the distance the Ranch. "Nick wants this himself," I tell her.

"I know, but he's twelve."

I kiss her on the head. "I know. But his grades at school are good, he's having a good time and if he doesn't go to that training, he's here in the basement boxing." I tell and Grace sighs.

Nick, our oldest son, has said he wants to be a boxing champion. He is always busy with sports and he likes boxing the most. Together with Marco, the twelve-year-old son of Enrico and Christina Lamberti. The two train three times a week at one of the few gyms here in Cliffs. Marcello also goes three times a week. His children are too young to participate, but before Marcello went with Cam, he also boxed. He likes to do that with the boys and watches their training every time and sometimes he sends us a message that he brings the boys home. I think his daughter Charlotte is the first to box with him. He thought that he must teach his daughter to stand up for herself. She's only six, but there's really none of the guys telling her how to do something because she stomps on their feet or even hits them when they want to help her. She could have been a child of Riccardo.

"your daughter called." Grace looks up at me and I see the tears in her eyes. She misses Lizzy so much. "Riccardo has arranged with Luca that she is here tonight. She comes with Luca. They drop her off here and then they go to Riccardo, they stay there until Sunday evening, then Lizzy can go back with them."

"I always have to get used to when you call your brother Riccardo." She laughs. Riccardo has always been Ricco to me, but Luca named his first son after Riccardo; Rico. So I try to say Riccardo when I know Luca is in town. So that there is no confusion about who I mean. "Poor Vivian, why are they staying there and not in the Lakehouse?"

"Leonora and Vito are going there. I don't know exactly what was discussed, but Stefano and Millie go to Marcello, and Cam and Matteo and Maria go to my parents." I tell her and she nods. "My girl is finally coming home." She sighs and holds me tighter. I kiss her on her head again. "Yes, our girl is coming home."

That night it is old-fashioned full at the dinner table, James and Thomas know that Lizzy would come, so she wanted to eat with us. Nick and Cooper always like that. Nick wants to fight with the boys and Cooper wants to drive laps in the cars they bring. And the two older guys do anything they want. Marlin decorated the cake, especially for Lizzy and Grace got ice cream so that we can eat it together when Lizzy is there.

My phone vibrates and only when we have finished eating do I see who or what it is. Grace has a strict rule when we sit at the table eating. Phones are silent and not on the table. Thomas and James had some trouble with that rule because according to them they no longer lived at home. But Grace insisted "if you come here to eat, those are the rules, if you want to sit with your phone, you can also eat at home."

Luca: Brother, Count to ten, take a deep breath. We have landed and are coming your way. With Lizz and her guest.

"Did you know that Lizz brings someone?" I ask Grace and the table becomes silent.

"no? Why?"

I show her the message and when she looks up at me I hear honking. Marlin stumbles away from the table to the front door.

"LIZZ!!!" I hear her shout. Grace also gets up quickly and walks to the front door. As always, the boys and I wait a moment so that Grace and Lizzy have a moment together before we follow.

"Oh my!" I hear Grace and I'm not the only one when James, Thomas, and I all run to the front door.

“What the f*ck!” James clenches his fists.

"No way!" Thomas tries not to growl.

"Hey, isn't that the soccer player?" Cooper points to the car. “He was on TV the other night.”

I look at Lizzy and see the tears in her eyes and she bites her lip uncertainly.

"Chris," Grace warns me. James and Thomas shake their heads.

"Dad." Lizzy's voice breaks. I look at the dark evening sky and press my lips together. I feel Marlin's hands slide around my waist and she holds me tightly. "It's going to be okay daddy." She whispers.