CHAPTER 1
AS I SPED along the highway, the rain fell harder than the last man I shot with my faithful Walther P88.
Ahead, a fork of lightning lit up the sky, closely followed by the angry growl of thunder. I accelerated around a truck driving slowly, or as normal people would say, sensibly, and kept the pedal flat to the floor. The drive to Dulles International Airport usually took two hours, but at this rate, I’d do it in just over one. Either that or end up wrapping my car around something solid.
At that moment, I didn’t particularly care which.
A bend came up, and the back end of the car broke loose, swinging from side to side in a wild fishtail. I grappled with the steering wheel, knuckles white, and managed to keep the vehicle pointing in the right direction. My Dodge Viper didn’t like the weather any more than I did. Metallic black, with an 8.4-litre V10 engine, it looked mean and sounded meaner.
Not exactly your typical girl’s car.
But, as my husband had pointed out when he handed me the keys on my birthday, “You’re not a normal girl, Diamond.” The nickname he gave me on the night we met had stuck through the years.
Fuck, I missed him.
Soon the road evened out, and the car settled back into a more-or-less straight line. The highway was almost empty. Only long-distance truck drivers and a few desperate souls crawling along in the slow lane were crazy enough to be out in this storm. Fortunately, all the cops were most likely tucked up in their squad rooms too, munching on donuts and mainlining coffee, far too busy with the important things in life to worry about little old me, merrily barrelling along I-95 at twice the speed limit.
I flicked through the radio stations until I found one playing rock. Bon Jovi belted out “Livin’ on a Prayer,” which seemed quite appropriate given how fast I was driving.
By the time I hit the outskirts of Centreville, the rain had slackened to a steady drizzle. The road was mirrored with puddles, the rippling reflections of the streetlights twinkling up at me. Just in case a stray cop was hanging around, I slowed down to somewhere near legal as I drove through town.
I’d kept a careful eye behind me on the way, and I was confident nobody had tailed me, especially with the speed I was driving. Even so, I made four consecutive right-hand turns to be on the safe side, doubling back on myself and driving through a residential area. Only once I was satisfied I was alone did I make my way back to the main road and continue on to the airport.
The long-term parking lot stretched out before me, and I carried on to the back. I didn’t want my vehicle to stand out, although I appreciated that was wishful thinking with the Viper. Still, it wouldn’t have to remain unspotted for long. I only needed a day or so’s head start to disappear, and I figured it would be a couple of hours before anyone even started looking for me.
I opened the minuscule trunk and climbed out to collect the leather travel bag that lived in there, then threw it on the passenger seat while I slid back into the driver’s side. Once I’d closed the door, I unzipped the outside pocket and pulled out the wallet I’d stashed there several months before.
The car’s interior light bathed me in a soft glow as I dumped the contents into my lap and took a quick inventory. Everything that should have been there was present and correct—a United Kingdom passport and driver’s licence; a matching credit card and a few thousand in cash, split between dollars and sterling; plus the other assorted detritus one normally accumulated. The body of the travel bag held spare clothes, toiletries, a Smith & Wesson .38 Special, and a butterfly knife. Everything I might need for an impromptu weekend away.
I didn’t have all that stuff by luck. The man who trained me spent years stressing the need to be prepared at all times, and I’d taken it to heart. I could have been a f*****g Girl Scout, if it wasn’t for the fact that while most little girls were learning the basics of how to cook an egg using a piece of cotton and a safety pin, I was busy learning how to survive in the real world.
He’d also taught me to act like a cold-hearted little robot, and I called on every one of those lessons now.
Don’t think, don’t think, don’t think. Just do.
Lock those damned emotions away.
The passport photo made me look as if I’d just been rolled out of the morgue, and for good reason. Tramping through the jungle in Belize on a survival training exercise never did much for my appearance, and I’d spent a week living off twigs and berries and nasty-tasting wriggly things while trying not to get eaten myself. I’d gone the final forty-eight hours without sleep as the trainers decided to play a fun new game that involved them hunting us like animals. Anyone they caught got treated to a nice trip to a facility that made Guantanamo Bay look like a five-star hotel.
No, I didn’t get caught.
I figured I’d sleep on the plane on the way back, but the pilot went down with food poisoning. That meant I’d ended up flying the bloody thing instead while the pilot alternated between throwing up and pouring coffee into me. I crawled into work for a meeting straight after we landed, and following that, when I was just about to pass out on the sofa in the corner of my office, my assistant walked in with a make-up artist and photographer for another round of passport photos.
All that seemed a lifetime away. Right now, I was barely capable of brushing my teeth, let alone taking on a team of the best special forces the US had to offer.
From the bottom of the bag, I fished out a wig and a fresh pair of coloured contact lenses that matched the ones in the picture. I’d already had a wig on all day, and my head was hot and itchy. I’d have liked nothing more than to fling the damn thing under a moving car and then climb into the shower to wallow in misery, but I couldn’t allow myself that luxury. Instead, I swapped out the honey blonde bob for something longer in a dull, mousey brown. The fringe tickled my eyebrows. That was going to get old, fast.
I went on autopilot, changing my identity as I’d done many times in the past. The only difference was the quake in my hand as I popped the mud-coloured contact lenses out of their blister packs. Even though I had 20:20 vision, I wore a pair of contacts most of the time because, in my line of work, my piercing violet eyes were far too noticeable. Despite all the practice, it took me four tries to get them in, and I bit my lip hard, trying not to scream in frustration. As the metallic tang of blood filled my mouth, I relished the pain. Anything to distract me from my thoughts was welcome.
A pair of wire-rimmed glasses completed the effect. When I looked in the mirror, I bore an uncanny resemblance to the morgue shot, which was both a good and bad thing. Good because it meant I was unlikely to get hauled off going through passport control. Bad because it served to remind me of just how horrific the last nine days had been. Things had started out terrible, then this afternoon, they’d progressed into a nightmare of such epic proportions I wasn’t sure I’d ever wake up.
Or if I even wanted to.
Still, I didn’t have time to sit around basking in self-pity. I needed to get moving.
I fished my three phones out of my handbag and threw them into the glove compartment. Anything relating to my true identity—credit cards, driving licence, my real passport—joined them, as did the gun and knife. Some say it’s liberating to go without a cell phone, but I didn’t feel that. No, I just felt…lost. Sure, I may have had a habit of going through phones faster than a frat party goes through beer, but I normally managed to keep at least one of them with me.
After a moment’s deliberation, I gave in and retrieved one mobile, removed the battery, and returned it to my handbag. I couldn’t use it—turning it on would allow the people I worked with to locate me instantly—but I felt better having it with me. Call it a comfort blanket. A connection, however tenuous, back to my life. I allowed myself that one concession.
Five minutes had passed by the time I removed my tailored black jacket and stilettos. The jacket in particular, a military style that accentuated my waist and drew attention to my chest, was too noticeable. I hadn’t wanted to wear the outfit, but my assistant picked it out and I was too tired to argue.
I replaced them with a pair of grey ballet pumps and a shapeless cardigan. My white shirt and black trousers were plain enough to keep. An olive green wool scarf provided the final touch, leaving me looking like a librarian who got dressed in a thrift shop. In the dark.
Finally, I tugged my wedding ring off and swapped it onto my other hand. I couldn’t show the world I was married, but I wasn’t going to be parted from that last connection to my husband, even if every glance at it made my eyes prickle with tears.
“I will not cry,” I whispered to myself as I climbed out of the car. “I will not f*****g cry.”
I swung my travel bag over one shoulder and my handbag over the other then headed for the terminal. The rain had slackened but it was still falling, a persistent drizzle that made me wish for an umbrella. I sighed and carried on. The walk would only take a few minutes, and I wasn’t going to dissolve. It was just one more shitty nail in the coffin of the second worst day of my life.
The airport was busier than I expected, and a quick glance at the departures board showed every flight was either delayed or cancelled due to the storm.
“f**k it,” I muttered under my breath, as I paid homage to my British roots and headed for the nearest queue.
Grumpy passengers milled around the check-in desks, berating the airline staff as if it was their fault the planes were running late. To my right, a red-faced man chewed out one poor girl who looked on the verge of tears.
“I’m holding you personally responsible if I miss my meeting,” he yelled, spit flying as he got in her face.
“I’m sorry, sir.” What else could she say?
The old me would have called in a favour to ensure the arsehole got rewarded with a cavity search as he went through security. New me stared blankly into space as I waited my turn.
When I finally reached the ticket counter, I still hadn’t decided on a destination, but as my passport was British, it seemed sensible to aim for mainland Europe and avoid the need for a visa. Preferably an English, French, German, Spanish, or Italian speaking country as I was fluent in all those languages, but I’d get by anywhere. It wasn’t as if I wanted to talk to anybody when I got there.
“Where do you want to go?” a harried-looking employee asked. He glanced at his watch, no doubt counting down the seconds to the end of his shift.
“What tickets are available for Europe? On planes that are actually going to leave soon?”
He tapped away at his computer keys. “We’ve got…London Heathrow…and…Egypt…and.… No, that’s it.”
“Egypt isn’t in Europe.”
“It’s not?”
His blank face told me I’d be wasting my time with a geography lesson.
“Are you sure that’s all you have?”
England was at the bottom of my list as the border controls were stricter, meaning I’d need to be more creative if I wanted to travel outside the country. This passport would be compromised soon, and the way things were, it wouldn’t be as easy as it usually was for me to get another.
“Yes, I’m sure,” he said, glowering at me like I was a mosquito he wanted to swat. “Do you want the ticket or not?” He tapped his fingers on the desk and looked pointedly back down the queue, which grew longer with each passing second.
I didn’t have a lot of choice. I needed to get out of the US sharpish or I wouldn’t be able to make a clean break, and there weren’t any other viable options.
“Yes, I’ll take it,” I told him, digging out the cash to pay. It would have to do.
I cleared security without any hitches. I hadn’t been expecting any because the guy who sorted out my passports was the best. Over the years, he’d procured sources for blank documents from any number of different countries so whatever he produced for me was indistinguishable from the real thing.
As I collected my bag from the scanner, I was pleased to note that karma had raised her ugly head and the obnoxious guy from the check-in line was having his carry-on luggage emptied out by a security guard.
At least it wasn’t just me that little b***h hated at the moment.
The departures screen told me I had a while before I needed to head for the gate, so I stopped at a newsagent and bought a couple of magazines to try and occupy myself on the trip. Usually when I flew commercial, I spent most of the time working, but with my employment status somewhat hazy and my head filled with rocks, that wasn’t a viable option. Plus the pounding in my temples at any sudden movements told me thinking wasn’t a good idea right now.
I wandered aimlessly around the shops, fitting in nicely with the tourists. The amount of crap you could buy at airports never ceased to amaze me. The only reason I went to them was to leave again as fast as possible, but some people seemed to treat the terminals as shopping destinations in their own right. I marvelled as one family staggered past carrying, among other things, two designer handbags, a games console, a surround sound speaker system, and a pair of cowboy boots. Good luck trying to stuff that lot into the overhead lockers.
With nothing better to do, I bought a hot chocolate with whipped cream in a vain attempt to make myself feel better then slumped into an empty chair outside the cafe to watch the display monitor.
Twenty minutes passed… Thirty… Why did time go more slowly when a girl’s heart was breaking from the inside out? After an interminably long time, my flight status changed from “Wait” to “Boarding.” I trudged to the gate and joined the rest of the throng as we were herded onto the plane like cattle, turning right into economy class as directed by an overly perky air hostess. Once my bag was safely stowed above my head, I buckled myself into my seat and closed my eyes.
Please let this trip go quickly.
Nobody listened, and we hung around on the tarmac for another half hour before the plane took off. I relaxed an infinitesimal amount as the wheels left the ground. The first part of my plan had gone as smoothly as I could have hoped, but now I was left to deal with the worst bit. Loneliness. I only had my thoughts for company now. As soon as the pilot turned out the seatbelt light, I took the only sensible option—pressed the “call” button and ordered a large gin and tonic.
“Ice and lemon?”
“Yes, and actually, make it two.”
I needed something to help me forget.
Memories and frustrations and pain took over in my mind, and I wished I could flip an off-switch to give myself inner peace. But I couldn’t, so alcohol would have to substitute.
With little to distract me, my thoughts turned back to earlier in the day. Darkness descended as I recalled the events that led me to be sitting there, eating tiny cardboard crackers out of a plastic wrapper with my arse slowly going numb, instead of being back at home with those I considered my family.