His Saving Grace

Pain is inescapable, suffering is an option. I heard that somewhere once and it stuck in my mind, haunting me, ever since. I often toyed with its interpretation and, now, I have the answer. The pain is there. It never leaves. Sometimes it’s bearable, but it’s always there. It’s pecked away at my soul all my life and, finally, it’s won. No, I surrender. Because it has taken everything from me. I am nothing more than a hollow shell of my past self. There are no more pieces left to try and put back together. I have nothing else to fight with. I’m already exhausted. Pain is inescapable, suffering is an option. Today, I decided to end the suffering. Today, I welcome the pain as it slices into my wrist, knowing it will be the last timenit ache. As I watch my tormented life seep from my body in thick, red spirals, a small smile crawls onto my lips. It’s finally over. I’m going to be free. My body starts to tremble and I lie back in the bathtub, closing my eyes. A rush of peace, contentment, washes over my dying body, cleansing my soul as I drift into the serene darkness, embracing the shadow for the first time in my life. But before anything went dark, I utter a silent plea. Forgive me. .................