SIN EATER

Chapter 21. GOBLIN your food is bad for your ELF

The Mountain Bandits were once part of a large criminal syndicate but they had not heard from any of the guild master leadership for months.

So, feeling abandoned, they slipped, bit by bit, towards now being independent.

A new leader had arisen among them and had now taken charge!

The bandits were now at war with the deep goblins.

In the past hey had simply ignored or even hired each other.

Occasionally, they would even trade goods.

The bandits took the near-surface caves and clifftops.

The Goblins took the deeper caves.

But the flying “Prey Monster” now meant that the cliff tops were no longer safe.

The bandits were now trapped in their surface caves.

They could not safely leave to either escape or raid traders.

The trade routes were just outside the Prey Monsters staked hunting grounds.

The traders were having a wonderful time, giving the credit of the now constant safe trading passage to the increased military presence of their Empire in the area.

No one outside of that part of the mountains knew that the Bandits were trapped there.

The bandits could no longer go to the usual surface streams for water but instead had to now encroach on the goblins land to get to the underground river.

And that was just the start of the turf war…

Then the bandits noticed the silver veins in the rock.

Now things had escalated,

The list of slights and issues had grown a full long arm's length since then.

The bandits were, mostly, just a mere mass of thick-necked thugs,

While the Goblins, were, well…. They were Goblins!

Neither the Bandits nor the Goblins were the diplomatic civilised “Let us talk things through types”!

The Bandits lost most battles, won only a few and both sides had taken casualties,

Lately, the Bandits had managed to capture some Goblin prisoners.

While most of the bandits were indeed, mostly, just a mere mass of thick-necked thugs, their leader was an intelligent and very capable Elf!

This charismatic leader checked on her Goblin Prisoners,

Her name was Glad Or-real.

She was a beautiful Wood Elven Princess of the Highest Darkest Fey.

She had been alive for nearly three hundred years but being an Elf meant that she was only in her early twenties physically.

She would not physically age much more than that for a for next hundred or so more years.

She had become a master of blade and bow through more decades of practice that most humans lived!

She was now the fierce and beautiful bandit queen of the mountain pass!

She had darkest, flawless midnight blue skin and eyes like milk opals with flecks to deepest jade in them.

Her hair cascaded in waves of beautiful locks of various deep metallic purples.

Most models and pole dances of our world have such great bodies through constant exercise and physical workouts.

Looking that sexy professionally takes an awful lot of full-time effort.

It just not “Just happen”!

Now imagine a female body that did not age or degrade that did the physical workouts of constant life or death combat for over a hundred year or more.

If they ever make a movie of this book, then they will have to use nothing but CGI, because no mortal could ever be this physically perfect in real life, even with the very best makeup and overlay effects!

The beautiful elven warrior princess vomited violently.

The puke just kept coming.

And coming…!

It was amazing that such a small petite perfect body that lived on just spring water and flower petals could hold so much vile-smelling gross liquid.

It was not that she had a weak stomach.

She had killed and tortured plenty of innocents in her day.

Afterall…! She was the latest leader of a large group of bloodthirsty mountain bandits!

But what she had just seen had pushed way past all reasonable acts of terror and war.

What she saw had a sick masochistic pleasure in it.

Even Goblins did not deserve THAT!

Eventually, she managed to compose herself.

In fury, she screamed at the Lieutenant,

“What the ACTUAL WIPE!! You sick, Sick, SICK Toilet Roll!!” She yelled.

“What?” Shrugged her Lieutenant Kyle Larrs.

“They are just Goblins!” He explained defensively.

“We are professional bandits and thieves! You complete SICKO!” She ranted.

“At the moment we are just having a turf war, people die in wars! It happens!”

“BUT THIS TYPE OF WIPE!”

“THIS IS BEYOND PERSONAL!”

“I am an ELF!”

“I have lived hundreds of years, most of them as a professional criminal!”

“I have met and been taught by some of the worst scum imaginable within that time!”

“I even worked for the Phug Mistress at one time!”

“I am one of the Darkest Fey! One of the cruellest races imaginable!”

“But THIS??!!” She explained with a wave of her arms at the dead Goblin prisoners.

“How does a mere short-lived thirty-ish-year-old human even come up with and think of this level of perversion!”

“Why, Thank you.” Said Kyle Larrs with no hint of irony in his voice.

“I take great pride in my creativity.” He then said.

“THAT WAS NOT A COMPLIMENT” Screamed the enraged Elf.

“IF the wiping Goblins find out what you did to the prisoners, we will be hunted down to a man no matter how far we run!”

“WIPE AND FLUSH! Our children and grandchildren will be hunted down no matter how far we all run!”

“And I would not blame them…”

“Errr. Oops!” Shrugged Larrs.

“WHAT!” Snapped Or-Real reaching each hand for the twin blades at the side.

Larrs shrugged again,

“Oopsy Daisy, there we go again… Sorry…?” He tired.

Princess Or-Real looked at his silly impassive fat human face.

Despite herself, she burst into fits of delightful, lyrical, giggles.

“Oh, for wipe's sake” She laughed “What the hell am I ever going to do with you Larrs?”

“You are too creative a grandmaster of your art, A once in a thousand-year type of genius, Far too rare and brilliant a talent to kill”

“But…!” She added.

“For that exact same reason, you are far too sick and evil to wisely let live!”

“I am at a total loss on what the smartest thing to do with you is…” she finished.

“I’ll try to do better…? “ He offered.

She facepalmed and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

“Look, Just destroy ALL the evidence of your depravity, Do not let me know in future, and if anyone else finds out what a sick rare gem you are, then I KNEW NOTHING!!”

“NOTHING AT ALL!”

“UNDERSTAND?” She glared at him.

“DO YOU UNDERSTAND YOU TOTALLY SICK TOILET OF A SO-CALLED MAN!”

Larrs bowed his head and quickly dropped to one knee,

“Yes mistress,” Kyle Larrs said.

He both loved and would willingly die for this Elven Princess.

“Ok then!” She patted his head lightly as you would a faithful but vicious dog!