Finding Heaven

Our Future

**Lorenzo's POV**

I lay in bed and watch Phoebe sleep peacefully. I know I have to be up soon to start getting ready for the meeting we are redoing, but there is still a few problems. I need to discuss some things with Phoebe. I shouldn't be making these decisions alone because these things are affecting phoebe as much as they are affecting me. The only thing I know is that I was not going to lose her ever again.

Phoebe started to stir as I played with her hair and caressed her face. "Wake up, la mia futura moglie." (my future wife.) I whispered and kissed her temple. 

She turned on her side, facing me and snuggled into my arms. It made me chuckle how different she was with me. I know she used to be up before the sun some days and now she had no problem sleeping in when she was next to me. Phoebe mumbled incoherently and pulled the covers up to her chin. A small smile playing at the corner of her lips, completely looking at peace. 

"Baby?" I whispered against the skin of her temple and kissed her softly. "Baby, how do you want to live in the next ten years?" I seemed to gain her attention because she craned her neck to look up to me. Her eyes were barely open, signaling she was still half asleep. I chuckled lightly and brushed the hair away from her face. "Maybe go have a shower and wake up a little before we talk about some things."

Phoebe groaned unhappily and rolled to her side of the bed and lazily got up from the bed. Her feet dragged and her shoulders were slumped as she made her way to the master bathroom. The door clicked softly and I heard the shower water start. As much as I wanted to join her in the shower and start the morning off right, I know that because she said 'yes' to me that I would most likely lose control now and take her body over and over again. 

I was on the edge of my control, fighting, when I heard a slight knock on the door. I took a deep breath, got up and grabbed a pair of basketball shorts and answered the door. "Well, well. Look who it is." I stared down the face I have been dreading to see because I didn't want to let me anger the best of me and kill him. "When I say to watch over the woman I am in love with, I do not mean to let her come all the way to Italy without so much as a warning!" I shouted. 

Fernando flinched at my harsh tone and looked to the floor full of shame and embarrassment. "Mi dispiace, capo. Non ci sono scuse per il mio fallimento." (I'm sorry, boss. There is no excuse for my failure.) 

Fernando is one of the very best of my men. The most trusted. He has never failed me before so I cannot really hold this against him. I mean I want to. Right now the only thing I want to do is put a bullet in between his eyes and call it square, but I know Phoebe would never forgive me. My first instinct is to kill him or at least make him suffer. It was no small thing he failed at, it was the life of my only love. If something would have happened to her because he couldn't do his job right, then he would have never showed his face to me because I would kill him on the spot. He actually shouldn't have come here at all because I have every right to kill him, yet here he is. Facing me and owning up to his mistakes like a man. 

"Non deludermi di nuovo, Fernando. Questa è l'unica volta che ti mostrerò pietà. Andare." (Don't fail me again, Fernando. This is the only time I will show you mercy. Go.) I sighed and waved him away. "Find Giovanni. Discuss some ways to keep her family safe until this war with Cardenas is over." As he started to scurry away, I yelled after him. "Don't make me regret this!"

"Regret what?" I closed the door and turned to see Phoebe coming out of the steaming bathroom with a towel around her body and her wet hair clinging to her arms. Dammit she looked amazing. "Who was that?" She smiled, looking more awake and herself. 

My mouth went dry and I swallowed hard. How was I ever going to get used to seeing her. I don't think I ever will. This was my heaven. My life, with this perfect woman. "It was Fernando." I finally spoke. Her expression changed and she looked away. "You never did tell me how you got away from him. He is highly trained and has never failed me before." I walked over to her slowly, like a predator watching its prey. "Care to tell me what happened?"

It was her turn to be nervous as she swallowed hard, trying to find her words. "I, um, I may have drugged him." I raised my eyebrow at her. No one has ever been able to get the jump on any of my men. "I was sneaking out of the hospital when he caught me. I knew that if he found out my plan to come find you, then he would be watching me too closely. So I started to cry. Like hysterically. I played it so well. When I was finally released to go home, I put on the best act of my life. Crying, staying in my room, freaking out Fernando. Well one night I came out of my room and went to my dad's secret stash and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. He was watching me carefully of course but I was able to sneak a few sleeping pills I crushed beforehand into the bottom of his drink. I convinced him to just have one and that was all it took." 

I almost wanted to laugh at the entire situation. My innocent fiancé managed to drug a highly trained mafia soldier by convincing him she was drinking her sorrows away. That is probably why he could not look me in the eye. Not because he failed me but because he was tricked so easily when he was trained to always be on his toes. Poor Fernando will never be able to relax around Phoebe again. 

"Baby, do me a favor." I walked up to her and held her delicate face in my hands. I looked into her eyes to let her know how serious I was. "Never do that again. I am not saying I don't want you here, but please understand that pulling a stunt like that could have costed Fernando his life. I know you don't understand, but because of this life I cannot afford to have men who cannot follow orders or do their job right. I have every right to kill him, but I didn't. If something would have happened to you, if Cardenas would have gotten his hands on you, I would have definitely killed Fernando with no hesitation. I need you safe baby. Please never try something like that again that could cost you your life." Tears filled her eyes quickly, probably realizing the weight of her choice. But she needed to know just what her choices mean. There is always a consequence. "It's okay, love." I pulled her into my arms. "I'm mad, but I understand. Just promise from now on you will let me protect you. Meaning no more fooling my men."

Phoebe looked up at me and nodded quickly. "I promise. Just please don't be mad at Fernando. He really was trying to be on his best behavior, but I guilt tripped him into taking the drink. He knew right away what was happening when he started getting tired. He begged me to not do anything stupid, but I didn't listen. I'm sorry." I hugged her tight and kissed her head. "I'll never do it again."

I held her for a little while longer until she started to get cold. She dressed while I took a quick rinse off and soon we were both heading downstairs to the kitchen where I could already smell breakfast being cooked. When we rounded the corner I was shocked to see Giana cooking. The f*****g nerve she had to be in my house again after I told her to not come back uninvited. Especially after she disrespected my bride to be!

I started to stalk towards her when she put her hands up in surrender. "What the hell are you doing in my house?!" I shouted. 

"First of all, don't take that tone with me I am still your mother. Second, this is also my house. Third.... I came here to apologize." She didn't bother to look at me. Instead she just picked at her clothing even though there was nothing wrong with it. "I was wrong to be so disrespectful. I had no right. This is your life and how you live it, with whom you choose, is none of my business."

I wanted to believe her. Mostly because a part of me wanted the mother that I remembered as a child, but I had to trust my gut feeling. Whatever Giana wanted, whatever she was after, it wasn't to rekindle a mother-son relationship. There is just absolutely no reason to leave her child behind. No matter the situation. I shook my head back and forth, coming to terms with the sad truth. My mother was dead. This woman in front of me was just a shell of who I remember. 

"Get out of my house, Giana. Don't come back." I said coldly. The surprise was evident on her face, but I wouldn't change my mind. "I appreciate your part in helping me save Phoebe from Veronica. I also know that you were kind to Phoebe the short time you spent with her. But something feels very off with you and I don't like it."

"Lorenzo-" Phoebe grabbed my arm and whispered softly. "She's your mother."

"My mother is dead." My voice was firm and absolute. "She left me when I was just a boy and I mourned her death."

"You have to let that go already!" Giana threw her hands in the air and laughed in disbelief. "So I died? So I was gone? You were just a child you didn't see what life was like for me! I hid that from you because I never wanted you to see your mother depressed or crying! Yes, I faked my death. I know I should have taken you with me but I couldn't! You are the true heir to the Italian Mafia. You were safer in these walls being protected than always being on the run with me!" 

"You left so you didn't see what life was like for me!" I yelled back. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to fight or dredge up feelings I managed to bury deep. I took a deep breath and put my cold mask back on. "It doesn't matter anymore. What's done is done. I want to believe that you are sorry and that I could trust you, but I can't. You need to leave."

Giana stared me down and each moment that passed, I saw a side of her I never knew. Her face was angry, bitter, ugly. She looked like her dead husband looked when he was planning something sinister. I had a feeling that I needed to watch her closely and I was right. She was hiding this side from me, playing a role until she saw that it was no longer working. My mother was dead, this woman is a stranger to me. 

She scoffed and threw whatever she was cooking into the sink. A small chuckle left her throat as she started to walk towards us. When she was directly in front of me she smiled evilly. "Goodbye, Lorenzo." She looked passed me to Phoebe and shook her head. "You aren't built for this life. You'll be the death of him, I promise you that."

I stepped between them, blocking Giana's sight of Phoebe. "Get. Out." 

"Gladly." And she was gone. 

The front door slammed loudly and I was finally able to relax a little better. Just then Giovanni and Fernando came around the corner. Fernando saw Phoebe and immediately looked away, showing just how upset he was. I cannot blame him though. She could have been the reason he got a bullet in his head. Phoebe walked to him slowly and sighed. 

"I sincerely apologize, Fernando. I wasn't thinking about the consequences and know now that what I did was dangerous and stupid. Please forgive me and know that I won't do anything like that again." She apologized. 

A part of me didn't like it, just because she was my woman and I am still the current leader of the Italian Mafia. She is my Queen. Queen's don't apologize. Then again, it makes her stringer to realize her mistake and own up to it. It will show everyone that they can trust her. Respect her. 

"I care about you, Phoebe. Not just because you are my boss' woman, but because you are a good person. A decent person. I was not concerned for my life first, but yours. I went crazy trying to find you, worried sick someone was hurting you. It is not just my job to protect you, but I do it because I wouldn't trust anyone else to do it right." I never knew Fernando had such strong feelings for Phoebe. Not in a romantic way, but like family. It warmed my heart. A small reassurance that Phoebe could live in this world. If she chose to. "Never worry me like that again, Phoebe. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you." 

Phoebe hugged Fernando awkwardly until finally he patted her back. Fernando was not big on any displays of affection, but I could even see that he needed that hug. They smiled at each other and things felt normal again. I let Giovanni and Fernando know to make sure the entire security team knew that Giana was no longer welcome anywhere near here. I didn't even want her within five miles of my home or nay of my businesses. They would spread the word quickly and pull a picture from the security footage to pass around.

Finally Phoebe and I were able to head into my office and talk about a few things. Just as we sat down we were interrupted again. It was one of the cooks that work here. Phoebe and I ordered breakfast and we were finally alone again. I looked at her from the other side of my desk as she walked around looking at everything. I loved to watch her but didn't like how far away she was from me. I moved to the couch and opened my arms out to her. She raised her dress a little and sat in my lap, one leg crossed over the other. I could tell she was nervous and honestly, so was I. 

"So there are so me things we need to talk about." She nodded and took a deep breath. "Yesterday before you got here, I was in a meeting with some potential allies that could help with the war between Cardenas and I. One of the men had made a good point. If I am to leave the Mafia after Cardenas is handled, to live a normal life with you, then there is a chance that we would be a target. Let's say we end up on the cover of a tabloid and someone from this life recognizes me. They can come around and demand that we allow them to invest with us or use our businesses for whatever they want. I would be in no position to say no because I would not have the power or protection of the Mafia."

"Are you saying that we can't ever have a normal life?" She whispered sadly. "That no matter what, we will always be tied into this."

"The Italian Mafia, the way that I want to run things is different than anything that has been done before. I have been pulling out of any shady business that Nicolo was into. No drug or women trafficking. Nothing that brings harm to anyone. However, I am not going to say there will not be blood on my hands but only for those who deserve it. Rapists, pedophiles, murderers. Anyone who tries to take advantage of good people. I want to invest in people's dreams. Help someone open a business and of course receive a small percentage of the profits. I want to be a man with a lot of money and power but not abuse it. I want to be a man you could be proud to call yours." I held her hand and kissed each knuckle. "But I won't make a decision without knowing what you want. This is going to be our life together and I want you to know that what you want matters. Help me plan our future together." 

She took a few moments to think it over and each moment passing was making me more and more nervous. Phoebe leaned into my chest and I held her body close. "All I know is that I want to be with you and I want a safe life for my children. I want to run my father's business without the Mafia trying to take it from me." 

"And I'll make sure I give it all to you." I kissed her forehead. There was a knock at the door and the cook came in with breakfast. "Let's eat and get ready for a busy day."