Your lie that night

Chapter 7

There was no suspicion left, no secrets left everything of mine was his and everything of his was mine. He was standing with his suitcase in the gate ready to bid farewell. My heart was paining out of agony were finding their way out the eyes. I looked at him his eyes carried the same pain, there was no certainty when we were meeting again. It's not like we had given each other commitment but still, neither he nor I wanted to separate that time.

'Have a safe trip buddy', Krish hugged him for the last time. His car with the driver was waiting for him outside the gate. Mom gave him her blessing by keeping her hand above his head and my dad did the same. I didn't even walk near him, I knew if I do so I can no longer control myself. And will become the victim of my own weakness. I bid him goodbye with my eyes and he seems to understand it. Those one week with him was the most precious days of my life, god knows what those days were going to establish between us.

After he left the home feel like a haunted house, I was still searching for his essence everywhere from the roof to my room, the kitchen to the washroom floor. The body shampoo he used I kept on smelling it for days. My high school started again, but my mind and heart both were on Pokhara where my love might be thinking about me.

 'I can't believe you were not lying the whole time', Bella exclaimed when I showed her the picture of me and Shrey together on the roof. Shreyan was popular among girls of our age, and when I said he was close to me nobody trusted me so I clicked that photo without Shrey noticing. Actually, everything was my imagination before that lockdown so it normal for them to not believe but after lockdown, my Imagination itself turned into reality.

'We spend the whole week together. It was awesome'

'I envy you kat. You are so lucky. Let's show this pic to Anna's gang I am sure they are going to die of jealously'

'Don't, actually, I am not sure if it would be alright to tell others about our relation. It's kind of between Shrey and me.'

'But you were always boasting about it to everyone. What happened now'

'It's just'

'What?'

'I will tell them when they again start that topic'

'Okay fine. But promise me you are going to introduce me to him the next time he comes to visit you'

'Promise', I chuckled.

I really was living in my imagination again. There was no I love you, no I like you, no I miss you but I imagined that I heard those from him and was living happily with my artificial world. I had a mobile number of Shrey but that always used to be out of range. He was neither on social media nor on any dating sites. He had given me his email a day before he left us but I didn't get any reply even after sending him one once in every 2 days. Sometimes when he used to call Krish from some private number which we couldn't see or reply I used to hear his voice. 'He has given his greetings to you Kat', Krish used to say sometimes and that was enough for me. I was really being mental on his love.

One month went by but still, I couldn't get in touch with him. The suspicion in my heart was growing day by day, nights began to went sleepless and mail I sent to him almost every day by them remained un replied.

Was that feeling, that night, that agony in his eyes all were nothing but my imagination? My mood swings were increasing and most of the time of me went by fighting with my friends, crying, throwing my belongings which he touched, and urging to kill myself. My period already skipped 2 weeks and I started getting morning sickness too. There was no one with whom I could share my suspicion. I had never brought even sanitary pads from the medical, I never had a boyfriend, I never ever let anyone come closure to me but Shreyan but getting closure to him was going to pay me hard. I was totally unknown about everything related to pregnancy. The only thing I knew was it may happen after unsafe s*x and its first symptom is skipped mensuration. There was no option for me rather than telling everything to Bella, she was the only one I trusted the most in my friends.

I was right, She understood me. 'I can't believe you were bearing all this by yourself.'

'I don’t know, what to do and what not to. I had no one other than you in this phase of my life'

'All rich people are the same. they don't value emotional relationships. How can he ignore you after spending a whole week with you'

'It's not like that. I am sure he must have been busy. He is nothing like others'

'You know him better than I do but still, it doesn't feel right. At first, we have to make sure than you aren't pregnant'.

She bought a box of a pregnancy test for me, Drop 3 drops of urine on it and if there are 2 pink lines then it's positive, and if 1 line appears it is negative. I went to a washroom of my school hiding the packets in my pocket. I spread all three of them and waited 5 minutes for the result. The whole time I wished for negative results, I was uttering the same thing again and again but when I opened my eyes it worked opposite all three of them showed two lines. I panicked and freak out at first, I couldn't stop the tears from my eyes. I was 15 and I was pregnant what my mom, what my dad, what my brother would think of me if they find out about that. I was the pillar of respect of my family my mom always used to say that and I broke the pillar. Girls were already shouting outside for me taking so long to come out, but the only thing I was responding to was my heart which was shattered by the news. I gathered all of them and flushed it into the toilet eliminating every trace of it as if eliminating that would stop the growth of the fetus in my womb. All the girls were staring at me when I got out even their eyes were mocking me telling me how i***t I was. Even without meeting Bella, I ran toward my home. Nothing hurt me before than the pain I was getting then. I wanted to leave everything beside and go to Shrey and tell him how miserable I was. I believed after knowing my condition Shrey would sort everything out. Bella was calling me continuously but I didn't get the courage to pick up that. No wonder how many people stared at me while going home and how many people asked me if anything is wrong with me seeing my tears. What was I going to do going home either? Facing my mom who trusted me more than her life, Facing my dad who thought I was the pillar of his pride facing my brother who loved me unconditionally despite every fight we went through. I reached there and facing them would just have made that worst I went straight to my room, locked it from inside, and cried my heart out. I opened my laptop wrote everything about my pregnancy in the draft but couldn't click the send button to Shrey. I was worried about what he might think of me. I just fell on the floor and mourn about the future I was getting to.

'Kat, are you fine? When did you get home?', the voice of my mom wakes me up. I was on the floor, my face covered with sweat and tears.

I sat on the door crumbling my knees on my arm I didn't know what to tell mom, what to answer her. So instead I chose to remain silent.

'Kat, I am worried now, your friend Bella is waiting for you'

Bella.. What was she doing there? 'Mom!', I said

'Yes, Kat are you alright?'

'Yes, mom', I fixed myself, 'Is Bella there?'

'Yes, should I send her to you'

'Yes, mom'. I said. Soon Bella's voice strikes my ears

'Kat'

'Wait a minute', I said and opened the door, thankfully mom was not there.

'Are you mad, why you ran out of the school? Do you even know how worried I was?'

I sat on the bed and again remembering my messed-up life tears began to run down my eyes.

'Why are you silence you are freaking me out. Was the result…?'

'I have messed up Bella, I don’t know what to do I am just 15 and  and'

'Was it positive?', Bella exclaimed. I again went silence, 'Do you even know what that means'

'I know, that means my life is going to be hell'

'Look, Kat', she held my hands, 'this isn't the time to be pessimist, you told Shreyan was a nice guy. I am sure we could find the solution if we tell him about it'

'I don't want to'

'What do you mean?'

'I don't want to tell him over email.'

'Then what is your plan'

'I want to go to Pokhara. To meet him, I want to cry in his shoulder, I want to fix him if he freaks out hearing this. I want to be with him Bella', I screamed

'In this condition, how will you do that? What will you tell your parents?'

'I don't know but I need him to fix this thing'. She wipes the tears from my eyes and hugged me wrapping me around her arms. 'You are strong Kat, you are stronger than anyone'.