Your lie that night

Chapter 13

The horn was making noise early in the morning giving us the sign that it was time for us to wake up but it was different that day. There was no energy in my body and the excitement to find Shreyan which used to wake me up early wasn't there. It was hard for me to open my eyes, and my head felt heavier as if I was carrying a huge stone. When I didn't wake up even after all the girls were dressed up already. Leiya came toward me,

'Hey, get over your sorrow, here no one takes care of your pain they just take care of the job you did'

I tried to speak but the only thing that came out of my mouth was moan, a moan of pain. 'Hey, Are you alright?', she shook me, 'Why you are burning up', she brought her hand on my head, 'Hey, you are having high fever. With her shout, other girls also came toward me. 'You were right, she is burning up. What should we do?'

'We have to call manager', said Leiya. I was half-conscious I was listening to them but the strength to respond wasn't on me. When Saurav found out about my fever he quickly came there with the doctor.

'Katerina', he called me softly, 'you will be fine, soon', said he caressing my hair. Leiya and other girls were keeping wet towels in my head when the doctor checked my whole body.

'Will she be an okay doctor', asked Saurav when the doctor stood up from his chair

'Yeah, she will be. It's because of too much pressure and overthinking. She is not getting enough diet as she should have got especially in this type of period. She is suffering from depression and undernutrition. This isn't the good thing for the baby growing in her womb'

'What?'

'Didn't you know, I thought you must know about all of your workers' condition'

'What are you saying doctor?', asked Shreyan with a dilemma in his voice

'she is pregnant, with more than a 2-month-old baby in her womb'

'Are you sure doctor?'

'Yeah, I am more than sure'. The doctor went out of the room, leaving everyone in the room shock. I never thought that news would flash in that way. 'I can't believe, she was pregnant this whole time. she seems too young to bear a baby'

'I wonder who is the father of that child?'

Everyone was giving their response to my condition, but I wanted to listen to what Saurav think about it. 'Let her rest today,', said he finally after a long time of pause, 'Take care of her diet and feed her on time to time basis until she gets fine. I will talk to the chef, he will provide you with the food', said he and went out of the room. No one asked anything to me, I just kept lying in the bed pretending to be asleep.

However, my first impression on Leiya was quite bad she came to be good at heart. She stayed by my side the whole day, changed the towel from my forehead time to time, and feed me soup every two hours.

'How are you feeling now?', she asked it was about to sunset the red sun was seen on the horizon from the window

'I am feeling better', I tried to smile

'It's fake, don't do it'

'What?'

'Your smile it's fake. don't smile with me until it comes out real'

'I am sorry'

'you have to thank me rather than saying sorry'

'Thank you. If it wasn't for you no one would have known that I was sick'

'Okay okay don't brag about me.'

'You are nice'

'This is the last time I am being nice to you. Don't be happy'

'Thank you', I said again wrapping my hand around her

'What are you doing?', she shouted but I was getting the love, the care, and the soothing vibe from her that I couldn't resist myself but lie on her shoulder.

'Hey, Can I give you a piece of advice?'

'umm'

'I can understand pain can hold one back but learn to be strong. There is no place for the weak one in this world'

I nodded yes to her.

'You know what, I miss my old self with a real smile, crazy attitude always on the dream. No matter what happens that day will never come back'

'Life is about change Katerina, You have to be able to accept it if you want to survive'

'Thank you, You are just like an elder sister that I never had'

'I am, you can share your problems and lean onto me. It's not only you by the way there is another life inside you growing every day. You have to take care of it too'

'Yes'.

From that day onward all of the girls were nice to me, they accepted me as one of them. Despite taking care of me every day they didn't ask me anything about the father of the child. that was the best part. It felt like there was a family there of my own. Mainly Leiya was an older sister to me, Samu the one who used to sleep below my bed, and Anku was the one who made laugh too much. Inside everyone mean faces there was a story of each one which was rooted in their mind and heart like an incurable wound.

Anku parents died when she was 10 years old and her uncle who promised to take care of her humiliated and made her their slave in her own house. Seizing everything from her parents property to insurance. She was thereafter escaping from her uncle's grasp. She said Saurav found her and gave her the job there. Listening to that the respect toward Saurav increased the fact that he didn't come to meet me after the incident was paining deep in my heart. Did he think I was a slut? or some girl who has an illegal sort of background?

Talking about the past Samu was also rescued by Saurav when she was going to be sold by human traffickers. 1/5 of the servents that work there were saved by Saurav when they were stumbled in bad situations. That time I knew Saurav was a social worker too, he worked against woman violence that was the reason he frequently used to travel from one place to another searching for the cases. The girls said Leiya was also rescued by Saurav, but no one knew what happened except Leiya and Saurav himself. Whenever we used to poke that topic, Leiya's face used to shadow as if some storms were covering dark night. so no one used to provoke that topic. It was a place where every sad soul used to be together yet within their privacy.

Soon a month went by, after engagement, I never got to see Shreyan neither I wanted too, but still when the sun used to went down and the environment used to go silent his face his touch his presence used to haunt me, the betrayal the love the night the roof everything used to roam around my eyes and make me scream. I used to cover my mouth with my hands and cry until my tears were drained out. I realized no matter how much I try that wound was never going to heal.

It was the day when we were getting our salary. We all were called to the manager's office and Saurav distributed our wages. For the first time, I was earning something from my hard work my hands trembling when I was moving them to the money. I was ashamed to look at Saurav and my hands were embarrassing me more. Saurav held my trembling hands, shocked of it I jerked and looked at his eyes, it was smiling at me with his own kind and luring way. Maybe I judge him quickly. All the denial faded away when my eyes met his. He turned around my hand and kept money on my palm, I couldn't control my tears,

'Hey', he whimpered

'This is my, my first ever salary', I sobbed

'Aww, I am proud of you', he caresses my cheeks and embraces my hair. I was the newest one in the group so I was last to receive the money. He held me by my shoulder and made me sit on the chair. I hide my face under my hands when he kneeled down and held his hand on mine

'What are you thinking about now? you can share everything with me'

'I used to think when I will get my first salary, I would buy gifts for my mom, dad, and Krish and brag them that they were from me but now…'

'Let me see what I can do about that, mmm Yeah, then let's send them gifts from you'

'Is this possible?'

'Why not? Let's go'

'But..'

'No, but'

'Can I change my cloth, it doesn't seem good to go on servent's uniform'

'Yes, you can', he chuckled. I ran to my section excited about that, his words gave me hope that I could, I was trusting him. I hurried and changed my cloth, I tried to make myself beautiful the first time that month and select the best cloth that I had brought from home.

I looked inside the envelope there were 10,000 Rs. That was enough for me, thinking of what should I buy for my parents I reached Saurav.

'Hey! look at you, you are looking beautiful', said he

'Thank you'

'So let's go to the market'. We began walking from the hallway to the gate. How conserved I was the last month that was the first time I came out of that palace since I went in. The scent of the road, the direct sunlight, the sky all seemed different.

'Thank you, you are really a very nice person', I said showing gratitude

'Still, you shouldn't judge anyone just because he gave you the idea of buying presents for your parents'

'No, it's not that. In our section everyone adores you. Some of them even refer to you as their god'

'It's their greatness, the only thing I did was give them the job'

'You changed their life pulling them out of the hell'

He went silent for a while.

'I was 4 years old when my mom was found dead in a field near my house. She was killed after being raped'

'Oh my god! I am, I am really sorry'

'And the worst part is the one to do that was my own uncle. We found it after 5 years. I used to play on his lap, sleep with him, play with him. I never thought he would be the one. My father used to cry day and night not being able to find the culprit when the real culprit was giving him the shoulder'

'Where is he now?'

'In jail, The day when I understood what really happened to my mom I made up my mind that I will never let any woman, any girl be a victim in front of my eyes. When I help them it feels my mom is smiling and proud of me'

'She is, you are doing very good thing Saurav. You turned your weakest point to the strongest point and that was your quirk'

Talking with each other no one knew when that path of half-hour went by. We were in the market. the market was huge, with people selling things from footpath to big shops. 'So what are you gonna buy?'

'I want to give them the thing which doesn't need to be labeled that it was from me'

'So what will be that'

'You will find out soon', I went up the stairs to an ornament shop. There were various gold, silver, and bronze ornaments. My mom always used to tell me the dress pin brings good luck but she never brought one for herself. I didn’t have the ability to buy gold and silver pin but bronze. There were many beautiful bronze pins with beautiful stones embedded. I took out a cream color one, it was so catchy, 'What do you think about it?', I asked showing it to Saurav

'It's beautiful'

'Isn't it?', I chuckled

'How much does it cost?', I asked the shopkeeper

'That would be 4000'  

'Please pack this for me', I said. I was happy that I got that despite its cost. In the same way, I brought a pocket watch for my dad, his old one was broken and sunglass for my brother. I was never satisfied while shopping that I was that day without even buying anything for me. I still had 1000 Rs left I thought I owed that one to Saurav. Who was nowhere to be seen at that time? I went to a shop nearby and bought a Tshirt, with a print "you are a great person" on it. I waited for him there when someone came from behind and wrapped a coat around me. I turned around, it was Saurav he was wrapping me with a cream-colored coat.

'What is this?', I asked in surprise

'You have brought everyone gifts from your salary. Let me buy you one to congratulate you for your first income'

'You don't have to do that'

'I have to. Now don't make a fuss of it. Just wear it it's cold outside'

'You know what, I also have brought something for you', I said giving him the t-shirt

'Woah! I can't believe you spent your last penny on me'

'Do you like it?'

'Very much'

'Now how are these gifts gonna reach my home?'

'My friend is going Kathmandu tomorrow, he can make sure that these will reach your home'

'Thank you. I will never forget what you did for me today'

We returned to the palace, and guess who I got to see on the gate. Shreyan.

He was with princess Lila, they were holding hands in love and both of them were looking happy. the mood which was overwhelming just a second ago ruined and my face again changed to stormy night. I hurried and wrapped a swal around my face, I didn't wanted him to see me mostly when Lila and Saurav were there. I hurried ahead when Saurav greeted him.

'Who is she?', Shreyan asked when I turned around my face away from his direction

'She is one of our worker'

'How many times I have to say to you. Don't get emotionally bonded with workers they don't deserve to be with us'

'No matter how much you say it, young master, it is my perception', Saurav chuckled

'I was just suggesting', said Shreyan and walked past me without turning back.

Listening to Shreyan it felt as if I never knew him, everything I thought about him was my imagination. His behavior toward me and my family made me believe that class is nothing but a number to him but what was that today? However, my mood was ruined completely. I just stood there numb and in pain.

'Are you okay?', asked Saurav coming toward me

'yes', I lied. I handover all the gifts that I bought to him and went inside my section. I wasn't okay, every time when Shreyan used to pass through my mind or when I used to encounter me it used to make me miserable, it used to make me the same Katy as the Katy in engagement. I covered myself in blanket and closed my eyes,

'I want to get over him', I repeated again and again thinking no-one was there in the room, I was repeating it again and again

'Stop it, you aren't going to get over by repeating it', shouted Leiya from the floor

'When did you come here', I stammered

'When you were repeating it again and again'

'I thought no one was there in the room'

'What is wrong with you Katy, what is the matter with you.'

'It's nothing', I tried to divert the mood

'Anyway, I am not forcing you. Look what I have got for us'

She took out four bottles of wine from her bag, smiling being proud of herself

'What have you done. Where did you get it?'

'Today we got our salary, we owe it to ourselves. What do you think?'

'You are so unpredictable Leiya'

'That is who I am. Today we will have blast after dinner. And I am warning you don't fill your stomach with food, spare some for wine, understand'

'Yeah', when I remembered something, 'Wait, Am I supposed to have wine'

'Why?'

'You remember right that I am uhum... Pregnant'

'Oh my god! I am sorry, I almost forgot that. Oh no now what are you gonna have when we will be having wine'

'It's okay, I haven't drink till now. I am a virgin in that case', I laughed

'I so wanted to take that virginity away from you', she mocked and we together went outside to continue on our work of cleaning.

After dinner, as planned Anku, Samu and Leiya sat together on one bed, spreading potato chips and chocolates on the bed. Each of them took a bottle and gave the spare bottle to other girls on the section who were on their own. I was also sitting with them, wrapping a blanket around me

'You can have chips and chocolates but don't have them all', warned Leiya. I never got the chance to drink but I wanted to drink it was my fantasy to get drunk with the most special person in my life, who was Shreyan to me.

Seeing girls drinking those from the bottle was worth watching, slowly their whisper was turning into a shout and their eyes were turning red. I just kept looking at them, laughing at them triggering them to do more stupid stuff.

But before I could watch more stupid stuff of them, Anku and Samu passed out. 'They took all the fun away', I gasped

'they always behave that way and in the end, I am the only one to get drunk and talk to myself'

'This time I am here for you'

'Not helping, you aren't drunk, you will gonna remember everything that I do'

'Okay, What if I behave like a drunk?'

'Still, will you forget everything tomorrow?'

'Obviously, I will, I am drunk. look at me' I made stupid faces to make her feel well

'Well, I believe you', she was really drunk by then. She was moving his hands in the air from time to time and it was fun to see her like that. At-least my mind was being diverted from Shreyan stuff.

'You…', she poked my nose out of nowhere

'Leiya..'

'You, are sooo strong Katy', I held her hands which were attacking me again and again, 'You are so brave'

'And why did you said that?', I asked acting as drunk as before

'You have got enough gut, to carry that child in your womb knowing it is a part of the man who gave you the pain', I went cold by her words

'what are you saying?'

'You are sooooo brave Katy, you took that decision even in this age when you are so young to be a mother'

'You should sleep now Leiya'

'Let me talk, You are sooooo brave Katy, soo brave. why wasn't I brave enough? I envy you, Katy'

I was clueless about what she was talking but I knew one thing she was in extreme pain, her tears flowing out from her eyes were proof of that

'I was sooo coward Katy, soo Coward. I', her cry became a scream, I was worried she might wake everyone up, so I signed her to lower her voice time to time, I went to her and wrapped my hands around her

'Everything is fine Leila, don’t cry'

'You wish, nothing is fine. I killed my own baby, I killed it with my very own hands. I was a coward how could I let that child live when there was that devil's blood flowing through his vein. I killed it with my own hands', she began to cry loudly, her screams contained so much pain on it that I couldn't help myself from shedding tears, 'I killed it with my own hands'.