Broken Hearts

Chapter 12

We fished for hours. Sometimes we talked, but most of the time, we listened to the waves move.

My sorrows seemed so far away here. Here, I wasn't sad at having been abandoned by my husband.

I caught several small fish. Justin was sweet enough to release them back after they were unhooked.

By the time we called it quits, the sun was low. Justin wanted to get out of the hills of Jersey before it got too dark. Many large beasts roamed these hills at night.

This time, I looked at everything as we passed it. Cute little towns, small shops, tiny churches, and vast expanses of land.

I tried to memorize everything I could.

By the time we got home, it was late, and to my surprise, David was home.

Some of the lights were on in the house. I could tell he was on his study. That light was never on unless he was in it.

"Thank you for the wonderful day. I loved every moment of it."

I looked back up to the window and sighed. Everything was unknown in that house. I just wanted to go to bed, but that would depend on David's mood. If I didn't go see him before bed he would accuse me of not loving him.

"Ashlyn?"

"Yes, Justin?"

"Why do you stay with him? You seem so sad."

I had to take a moment and figure out how I wanted to answer.

"Because I love him. Have a good night, Justin."

We went into the house and went our separate ways.

Going up to David's study, I found him there with an empty glass. It had the evidence of dark liquid that once filled it.

"Hello my love."

I couldn't hide the exhaustion in my voice.

"Where have you been?"

His tone pissed me off. It sounded irritated, not concerned.

"I went fishing."

Keeping my answers short would save me the fight. Or so I thought.

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to. Is that a problem?" My tone had an edge to it.

"You don't fish anymore." David pointed out.

"I was tired of being in the house. I'm still hurt by the events of the other night. And I was being consumed by my anger. So I needed to find something else to do."

"What happened the other night?"

Looking at him in disbelief, I realized he was totally serious.

"The fact you dismissed me like a common whore."

"No I did not!"

That just made my anger roar to life.

"Excuse me?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I didn't treat you like a whore."

"The fu.ck you didnt! You had s*x with me and then dismissed me. Then, you took it as far as to sneak off without saying anything. Then there's the fact that you didn't once try to message me or call me. Everything is work, work, work now. No time for me or my future goals."

Crossing my arms over my chest, I glared at him, waiting for an answer.

"Oh my God. You are just reading into things that aren't there." He rolled his eyes at me.

We sat in silence a moment before I finally decided I was done with this conversation.

"I am going to bed. Good night."

Turning around, I headed out and down to my room. Once again, the sadness was back.

So much for it being gone.

I went to bed with anger still hot. Sleeping while angry is difficult. I was completely exhausted when I woke the following morning. My body was tense with anger and hurt.

David was sitting at the table drinking some coffee and reading something on his phone. I didn't have the energy today. I grabbed my own food and took it up to my room. As I went to go into my room, Justin came out of his.

He looked at me and then did a double take.

"Ashlyn, are you feeling okay? You look tired."

"I am fine. Just tired. Sleep wasn't kind to me last night."

"Are you ill?"

"No, I'm fine, thank you."

Going into my room, I shut the door, ate some of the food, and went back to bed. Honestly, I did feel like hell. My body was tired, but I knee this tired. It wasn't a physical tired, it was a mental tired. My depression was getting bad again, and I couldn't blame it. Fighting at all with David was exhausting. It caused me a great deal of anxiety.

I was able to fall asleep quickly and fell deep into my subconscious.

Consciousness only found me when Mrs. Murray woke me to give me my medicine. She knew I was struggling. I could tell by the look on her face. She knew sometimes I would go deep into my depression. This looked like it would be one of those times. If I got too deep into it, I wouldn't leave my room for days.

I thanked her for the food before rolling back over and going back to sleep.

The next few days went like this. David only finally came in on the 4th day. He started me awake and started yelling about how I was being lazy and useless. I got mad, told him to f**k off, and went back to sleep.

By the next day, David was sitting in my room. He was starting to worry about what was going on with me.

I was getting irritated with David being around all the time.

"What do you want, David?"

I made no attempts to hide my irritation.

"You haven't left this bed in days. What's wrong?"

"It's call a depressive episode. Why aren't you at work?"

He looked at me like I had lost my mind.

"I've been worried sick!" David exclaimed. It was like it was the answer to everything, atleast, thats how he acted.

"This has never bothered you before, so why I'd it bothering you now?"

I glared at him as I waited for him to answer.

"You've been staying in bed for days on end, especially this long".

"David, this is minor compared to some of the episodes I've had."

"That's not true." This man was getting on my last nerve.

"Yes it is. The only reason you don't know that is because you're always gone. Poor Mrs. Murray is always the one helping me through it."

David thought for a moment.

"I didn't know."

His voice was almost inaudible.

"I know because you have forgotten all about me. It's always about work for you. Nothing else matters anymore."

My words stung, but they held truth.