Rogue. Beta

14. INDIE

“You’re a rogue, Cosima.” His words were harsh. So unlike his way of speaking to me.

“I have a mate dad. We mated already. It was beautiful and –“ He cut me off with a harsh voice.

“Enough! I have heard enough. Have you forgotten who you are? Is all this a joke to you?” He shouted. Then, as I was about to reply, he started laughing. It was low. Husky and genuine.

Was I being punked?

“Kids. You almost got me for a second. That was a nice one, Cosi,” He said, laughing again.

What the birds? Get it? Because birds are hel!

“Dad. I’m not joking,” I said in a monotone.

“Nice prank, Cosi. Now, as I said earlier, you have –“

“I’m not joking dad,” I injected again.

“Six weeks to return to –“

“You need to listen to me! I’m not joking dad. I found my mate and he’s the beta and –“

“Shut up,” He snarled. There was no room for argument.

It wasn’t the voice of my father. It was the voice of the Rogue Lord. It left no room to negotiate.

“Have they turned you like they turned Kieran?” His voice lost all emotions as he spoke. I knew this voice. I had heard it severely. On the days when I followed him to the cells. The voice he used before plugging up people to the electricity board.

It wasn’t a voice he had ever used on me. It wasn’t a voice I had dreamed he would ever use on me.

“Dad it’s not –“

“I. Said. Silence. Cosima.” His voice was cold as he spelt out the words. A shiver wracked through my spine, making me straighten.

“You are a Luciano. My blood. I will not have my own daughter simpering around with pack wolves.”

“Father –“ I tried to cut in.

“SILENCE!” His voice exploded through the receiver. The hair on my neck stood at alert, rising in tension.

I flinched, almost dropping my phone.

“I want you back today. Ramirez will pick you from one of our green zones. Don’t make me wait,” He barked out like I was one of his debtors. The ones who could not pay back their debts after wasting it in his Vegas casino. The ones he ultimately killed and took their children as collateral.

“Y –yes father,” I replied with my heart pounding a terrifying rhythm in my throat.

“Don’t sound so distraught, Cosima,” His voice was softer but still harsh. “You’re still my treasure,” He added. Then he hung up on me.

You’re still my treasure.

In my dad’s dictionary, that meant he still loved me. He would never say it. A Mafia lord had no love to give. But he could treasure me. I was a gift to him. A gift from my mother. A gift to be treasured.

It made my stomach roll like I had eaten cold, unspiced food.

It also gave me hope. He didn’t hate me yet. My father still loved me. Even though a single explosive night with one man could ruin his mission.

He loved me. Phew. I could work with or around that.

“You shouldn’t go.”

I jumped. Turning with exaggerated slowness, I came to face Kieran.

His face made me want to hurl my device at him.

The white haired boy stood at my door, leaning on the doorframe and inspecting his nails. Like he hadn’t picked my lock without me even knowing.

“Are you stalking me now?” I snarled.

“You’re not worth stalking, babe. You shouldn’t go.” He walked into my room and stood before me.

“Who are you to tell me what to do?” I wanted to pull out my hair in annoyance.

“The smartest person you know. You shouldn’t go and you know why.”

“Because of my mate?”

“Yes. Because of your mate. And because of your friends.”

“My friends? You mean Remi and Clara?” I almost laughed at that. Friends indeed! Remi and Clara were best friends. I was just the girl who hung around them sometimes. “So you’re trying to protect your crush? The omega girl?” I scoffed, plopping into bed.

“Clara is more than just an omega girl. She’s the reason you’re here. I’m looking out for you, Cosi. If you do this, you’d ruin everything,” He stressed.

“Everything? Luciano’s empire is everything. Nothing else matters.” I said. “You’re not looking out for me. You’re just scared to lose your omega crush. I don’t know if the process of taking her powers would kill her. I hope not. But I will not disobey Papa. I will not disobey a direct order!”

“I thought so too. The life with weapons and wolf’s bane and pretty women. The life of living on the other side of the law. The recklessness. The thrill of making my first kill, casting my first dark spell. Watching the face of my adversaries freeze in fear as I aimed at them, I loved it. It was everything. “ He breathed in harshly.

“You don’t know this life. You think you do because you’ve watched from the side-lines. You think you’re ready but you will never be. The Mafia life is not for everyone. It’s not for you.”

“f**k you, Kieran. f**k you! You pretentious fucker! The life is not for me? I was born into it! I’ve breathed wolf’s bane since I was a child. I watched my father tear apart two of my babysitters. It’s not for me? I got a gun for my fifteenth birthday!” I reached into my last dresser and pulled it from a wrap of clothes.

I aimed at him.

“You think it’s not for me? I’m the f*****g fastest shooter in the gang. I can blow out your brains before you open your f*****g mouth again!” I shouted, chest rising and falling fast.

“Then do it, Cosima. Blow out my f*****g brains.” He crowded into my space. “Do it. I double dare you. Don’t be a wimp. Blow my f*****g brains out!” He screamed in my face.

I uncocked my weapon then I drew back with a cry of anguish.

“What is wrong with you!” I cried. “I could have killed you!”

“No, you wouldn’t have. You’ve taken shooting range classes. Shot up one or two people but you will never shoot to kill, Cosi. I know you.”

“Why are you doing this? What do you want?” I pulled at my loose hair.

“I’m looking out for you, Cosi.”

“Why?” I demanded

“Why do you think?”

“Because my father would tear out your heart if you didn’t?” He snorted at that

“Your father is going to find a way to get to me. Whether I help you or not. I’m helping you because I don’t want to see you get hurt.” I scoffed.

“Scoff all you want, but it’s true. We grew up together. We were best friends. The holidays when you would come to see your father were always my favourite part of the year. You may hate me now but I’m your only ally here. You have to listen to me.”

“If I decide to listen to you, what will be my fate? What would you have me do?”

“Tell Mason. The entire plan,” He said, stepping closer to me.

“Are you insane? You want me to betray my father? Like you did?!” I screamed, taking a step away from him and his craze. His insanity might be contagious.

“I’m asking you not to betray your mate!” He exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air.

My heart seized.

Mason. My mate.

The internal conflict started up again.

You know that in the end, you’ll have to pick a side. Your father has declared war and you can either stand with your mate or your father.

My subconscious was right. Darn right. And hence my conflict.

I didn’t want to pick. I could not bear to pick. It was too early to say I loved Mason but I could see myself getting there. Soon. I could see myself loving him very soon.

Good gracious, I was fvcked.

“You can tell one of your friends. Clara is more understanding and forgiving,” He started. “But you being mated to Mason is perfect. It’s like the Moon Goddess saw all this before predestining you guys.”

“You’re crazy,” I shook my head. I wanted badly to shove my fingers into my ears to block out his words.

“I’m not. And you know it. It’s early now. You can tell them now before the damage is done. They'll forgive you. They'd appreciate your help. Once the plan starts to unfold and you’re discovered to be pack enemy, it’ll be all over for you. Remi, Clara, Mason. They would hate you and you would deserve it. Tell them now and stop this.”

“Why don’t you tell them?” I drew my shoulders back.

“Because you’re closer to them. They trust you.”

It should have made me happy. I fulfilled a major part of my mission. They trusted me when they shouldn’t.

Mason trusted me.

I wanted to hurl the contents of my stomach and the contents of my dresser. Birds! This was messing with me.

 “I’m not betraying my father, Kieran,” I murmured.

“He would betray you. He would kill your mate while you watched and begged for his life! Don’t you see! Your father is a monster who –“

SMACK!

The sounds of flesh on no flesh reverberated in the room. He gripped his cheek and I massaged my palm.

“You will not speak about my father like that. I’m nice, Kieran. But I am a Luciano. I won’t tolerate insults against my blood!” I screamed at him.

“You will fight. But you will lose. You will lose your father’s war. You’ll lose your friends. You’ll lose your pack. And you will lose Mason. Maybe when you understand what loss means, you’ll look for me. You’d want to tell me how right I was. How horrible it felt. But I wouldn’t be here.”

He slammed my door shut as he exited.

His words rang in my ears after he was long gone.

Choose Mason over Papa. Chose this life that I was coming to love over the one I had loved all my life. The life that I thought was my destiny. Mason. Papa. Mason. Papa.

My mate versus my father.

My mate of ten days. My father of nineteen years. My mate who I was born to love. My father who was my treasure. Mason with his sweet smiles and scorching kisses. The man that made my heart leap just from touching me. The man who brought out a side of me that wasn’t hardened versus my dad that raised me for nineteen years. Giving me the best he could. Building an empire that would succeed the both of us so that I would feel secure in the world I was in.

My father had been my everything for nineteen years. My confidant, my instructor, my financer, my trainer, my parent.

It made me cringe thinking of the look he would give me when we saw again.

He wanted me to come to him and it was best I did. I didn’t want him to come fetch me.

Kieran was wrong. If they found out I was a spy, they would surely hate me. Kick me out or drop me in the dungeon to be tortured.

If I went to see my dad, I could make him see reasons. Make him remember all the good times he had spent with his mate. He had loved my mother and he would have surely done anything to be with her.

If I wanted to follow in father’s footsteps, shouldn’t I fight for love too?

Yes.

 I would go to my father and make him see reasons. I was his treasure. He cared about my happiness. He would let me have Mason. I didn’t need him to stop the mission completely. I just wanted to have Mason.

He would let me be with my mate, wouldn’t he? Yes, Papa would let me be happy with Mason. I just had to see him first. And remind him what the feeling of being mated was.