Starlands - Mated To My Bully

Five

I struggle to sleep as the thoughts run through my mind. I can’t stop panicking. This could be it. This could be the end of me. Seventeen years old and still yet to accomplish anything. A short life ended by a secret. Ended with the words of a boy he didn’t need to speak.

The party is still ongoing downstairs. I hear bodies move on the landing, doors slam and giggles. There’s always been a busy rotation of females in their bedrooms. Sometimes they share. Sometimes they don’t have females, just males. I don’t think it’s the case for Emrys and even Aether. It’s definitely the case for Rume and Grove.

I wonder if the brothers know their secret. They share a bed on occasion. Rune is out in the open. Everyone knows that he beds males and females. Knows that he takes part in threesomes, foursomes and probably more.

This year though, I’ve noticed he will bed two females at a time or Grove. It’s something I began to realise. Rune never beds just one female, it’s never romantic and intimate. He never beds another male anymore or joins in threesomes with the other brothers.

As far as I’m aware, Grove has never taken another to bed, except Rune. You tend to notice a lot when you’re a bystander on the outside. I wonder if it’s why Rune stopped. When I think about it, it begins to make sense.

Rune and Grove are together in secret. Rune can have meaningless engagements with females for pleasure, but not for anything meaningful. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to hurt anybody. The thought tastes bitter on my tongue and I know I’ll struggle to say these words out loud.

Rune will protect Grove. If he doesn’t want his secret out. He doesn’t want anybody to know he’s gay, then I can use it to persuade him to keep mine. I dash out of the room and head for Rune's bedroom but I hear the giggles and moans from two females in there.

He won’t be telling them tonight. He won’t be telling them at all if I have anything to do with it so I may as well corner him in the morning. I can stop him then. I head back to my room, place the chair under the door handle and climb into bed.

Someone knows about me. It doesn’t matter if he’s with another, he cares about me. Even if he never acts on it. Even if I never feel his caress again, I know that I am still loveable. I’m worthy of someone’s care. I’ll be able to stop him from telling. I’ll have someone I can be myself around.

The thoughts help me to drift off into a dreamless sleep. Content for the first time since I came here. The secret is not mine to bear alone any longer.

I wake up with a start to icy water thrown over my head. I blink and shiver, trying to gauge my surroundings and understand what’s happening. Four figures stand in front of me. I squint, the light in my eyes is too bright. The air is thick and breezy but the metal burns into my skin, too hot. The floor is ice. There’s pitch-black darkness around the room and the whispering of shadows, yet I can see the figures because a bright light beams down on me.

I’m on the floor in the basement. I’m naked. My wrists are tied behind my back to a wall joist. My ankles are tied together too. I look down and realise that I’m not even wearing underwear. I’m completely on show for their amusement.

The tears start to fall but they freeze onto my face. I try to look up but the light above my head prevents me, so I lower my head again as I let out a sob. I don’t want to cry in front of them. I don’t want to show them I’m afraid. I’ve never cried when they’ve hurt me before. I saved that for afterwards.

I saved my tears for the walk to the meadow and I let them all go before I got there so I wouldn’t ruin my happy space. I saved my tears for my pillow when I cried myself to sleep. This time, it hurts. My heart hurts. It’s different this time. They know I’m female. They have stripped my clothing and my dignity. Stripping my secrets and protection.

I expect this from Emrys. I expect it from Grove. Maybe even Aether, but Rune. I was vulnerable to him. I let him see me. I pleaded with him. Now he’s joining in. Creating the fog and the breeze. I know what their powers can do. They are already going in heavy. They are going to kill me.

Everything intensifies. The shadows swirl around, whipping me. The chains get hotter, and the light above me beams down lower as it inches from my face. I cower lower, screaming in pain but the wind pulls me back up until I can feel the blazing heat coming from the light.

My whole body is shaking in agony. My screams are so loud that my throat is hoarse. I can barely make noise any longer. Then it all stops. I drop back to the floor, the chains cool, the floor warms to a comfortable temperature, the wind vanishes, the light dims and raises back up against me, the shadows quiet and the darkness fades.

I lay there panting, tears soaking my cheeks. I think I’ve wet myself too but I’m not embarrassed. I’m too shocked and betrayed. I knew they were bullies. I knew what they were capable of. I knew all this but I still didn’t expect it.

All the things they’ve done and I still didn’t expect them to do this to me. I’ve never seen any of them hurt a female. Ever. They’ve never stripped me. They’ve never left scars and I think this time I’ll have burn marks and slashes across my body from the whips of the shadows. I probably have frostbite too.