Married to the Rogue

Chapter 3: How it Started

|Cassandra|

I could never understand why my mother was crying every night when I was a child.

I could never understand why would I always see her gazing at the window whenever I woke up in the middle of the night.

I could never understand why she would always whisper her sorry to me, crying as she embrace me tight.

And I could never understand why she never came back after she left that certain day.

"Cassey, don't leave our house, okay?" my mom's soft voice echoed in my ear as I remained standing in my position.

The freezing breeze of air started entering the house, that it sent me shivering but I did not give a mind. Some particles of the snow even tried to find shelter inside, but realized their downfall upon tempted by the warmth of the room.

I was looking up to my mother as she stepped outside our small house. I made a step forward, my heart was clenching with unknown feeling. Like I needed to...convince my mom again of not leaving me at home, once again. Or...she could bring me along. I'll promise I'll behave.

I thought she would finally leave without even giving me a second look that I automatically lifted my both hand and stopped her through grabbing the hem of her shirt.

Mother turned around and I saw the surprised look in her face. After a couple of seconds, she quickly gave me a warm smile, which she always wear to enlighten my mood and ensure that I would be fine whenever she left me alone.

"I won't leave without kissing you goodbye, Cassey," she said as she crouched down to level her gaze to me. She smiled even more and quickly gave me a kiss on my forehead and on my both cheeks.

"Don't. Leave." I uttered after the kiss.

Her gaze quickly met mine. And I saw something familiar on her blue eyes. I had been seeing those emotions as far as I could remember but I could not name it.

Mother heaved a deep sigh. Then she squatted in front of me so she could level her gaze on mine. Her one hand reached for the side of my cheeks and started carressing it. I could not help but shut my eyes close in return.

Even the weather was freezing cold, I would always love my mom's warmth. And the thought that I would only be having her warmth late this night suddenly made me a little sad.

"Do you know that I needed to leave, right?" her soft and gentle voice echoed on my ears once again. I opened my eyes and stared back into her eyes. I swallow hard, then my lips started to protrude.

We stared a few more seconds before she heaved another sigh.

"Then...if I do not leave right now and stay here with you, we won't have something to eat tomorrow and for the upcoming thanksgiving! Do you want some sweets, right?"

I did not really understand the reason why she needed to leave but her threats for a six year old me was enough to feel me fear about the food we could not eat.

"Alright," I said with my small voice. The thought of suddenly not eating a chocolate or a cake made me decide in blink of an eye. My mother smiled widely at my response.

"But do you remember what I had been telling you whenever I leave?" she asked as her one hand started carresing and playing my deep-copper straight hair behind my back.

Instead uttering a word as an answer, I only nodded my head as indication that I know what she was talking about.

I was really not good at voicing out my response...or my ideas. I was already six years old but I was still having a hard time pronouncing and voicing out words. But...my loving mom understood my condition. She never got disappointed with it but instead, she was proud even more that she know I was smart.

"Behave, alright? Don't let anyone in, no matter what happens," she whispered as she stared directly into my eyes.

I nodded my head once again.

"What will you do if someone barged inside our home?" she asked further.

"Hide. Secret room." I managed to answer.

She heaved a deep sigh and stared at me for a few seconds. Then she pulled me once again for a long embrace before she bid her short goodbye and decided to leave.

I was left standing just in front of the doorway, gazing at my mothers back as her build became smaller and smaller. The snow that continued to fall even made her build became a blur to me. Until I could not find her from afar anymore.

My eyes landed on the thick snow on the ground. Her footsteps were imprinted on it and if I decided to leave and follow her, I would probably catch up with her.

'You can't go out of the house, sweetie,'

I stopped unconciously before I could even step my foot outside the doorway. I blinked, looking innocently at the snow that was trying to get inside our house, then back to the footprints.

I was silent for a few second, staring at the footprints that was started to be covered with another layer of snow before I decided to step back and closed the door behind.

'Mother said that I can't go out,' I told to myself as I went further inside our small abode.

Mother will be out the entire night morning ang usually went home by night. But she never left me without food. She would always left me with enough breads in which I could survive my hunger until she gets back home. And whenever she was home, she would always bring me my favorite chocolate cake.

Since I had nothing to do inside the house, alone, I decided on playing with my dolls in which my mother had made for me. If I get bored and started to get hungry, I would be eating my food in peace. Then start reading some books if I did not have something more to do.

Mother said that I am quite a special child. I was able to start reading at the age of three. I learned how to write two years ago. And it was only then when my mother realized that I was...quite a special child that was smart at a young age.

That was why she was very proud of me.

But when mother tried practice saying the words I had read, we both realized that I was having a hard time on uttering a sentence, or even a single word.

Yet...despite the deficiency, mother still loved me the most.

Still...I could not understand why she never allowed me getting out of the house whenever he was not around.

I just shrugged what was happening since I knew that she was only worried for my welfare.

At a young age, the only parent I knew as I grew was my mother. She would always sing me my favorite song whenever I cried, before I went to be...or even to satistfy my hunger if we end up no food for a day.

I know...that our life was part of a slum. We live outside the gates of the capital...far enough that we could not even reach the main entrance even if we walked all day.

I gave no mind to what kind of life I was in. As long as I have my mother with me, I was very much contended.

Yet...that certain day, I decided to wait for my mother to finally get back home. I looked at the clock and it says it was quarter to eleven already. Fifteen minutes more and mother will be home.

I stood straightly in front of our doorway, patiently waiting for my mother's return.

But seconds...minutes, and hours had passed, the door did not swung open.

I found myself seating on the floor, and despite the coldness of the room, I endured everything and continued to wait for my mother. But still...she has not arrived even when I found myself lying on the cold floor, just in front of the doorway, the next morning.

I waited...and waited, for her to finally get home.

But she never did.

The reason that I couragely made my way outside of the house was when I was starving, and the hope to find my mom with my own.

Grabbing the only proper coat that I own, the boots and some thick pants and shirt, I started marching away from the house. I started coursing the thick snow beneath my feet.

I did not know where I was heading but I only followed the way where my mom usually head to before she disappeared on my sight.

Minutes after minutes was passing and I was getting hungry. I was shivering in cold and suddenly regretted the decision I had made. I should have stayed inside our house. What if my mother came back and she did not find me there?

I roamed my eyes around. I was surrounded with big trees but I could still see the sky above me. Yet the only thing that concerns me was I had been walking for almost an hour now yet I could not see a house even once. Then it took me a while before I concluded that maybe, I was lost.

I decided to go back to where I had come from. But due to the storm and the knee-length snow beneath me, my sense of direction was severely distracted.

I was hungry and lost and the cold was starting to seep within my skin. I was shivering and catching my breath. My throat suddenly felt dry and for the first time in my life, fear of being alone...started to succumb me.

"Mom..." I whispered. I roamed my eyes around, finally regretting this decision of mine. I was in the verge of crying when I saw something from afar.

The snow was still continuously falling that all I could see were shadow-like figure approaching my direction. It took me a while, before the sight became clearer.

A...brown wolf was running on my direction. Horror immediately crept my being at the sight. My mind was screaming that I needed to move and needed to run. Danger is coming toward my way. Yet...I was too stunned that out of nowhere, a wolf appeared and was suddenly attacking me.

"Mother..." I whispered, my voice shivering not because of cold but because of the fear I was feeling. The agitation doubled when I saw that...the wolf was being chased by a wild bear.

"Mother..." the tears were now escaping my eyes, yet despite the danger of my situation, I heard a voice coming from my mind.

'Run! Run!'

I blinked, and looked around, suddenly confused where the voice was coming from. And as the wolf got closer and closer to my direction, the voice were starting to get clearer.

'Run, you i***t!' the voice said.

The wolf immediately stopped in front of me. I remained standing in front him, afraid that he might suddenly bite me to death. But instead, I heard that voice on my head again.

'Mount on my back,' the voice said in hurry.

I was staring at the wolf with so much shock and surprise. Is the wolf talking to me? But...how could that be? I never heard of anything about...a wolf who could talk!

The wolf seemed to realize that I was not moving on my place. He immediately turned his head into my direction and his blue eyes quickly met mine.

'Mount on my back or do you want to be attacked by that wild bear?' the voice said once again.

And maybe, the threats of the wolf were enough for me to double the fear I was feeling and I saw myself mounting on the wolf's back.

'Hold tightly,'

I was too awe at what was happening that I saw myself uttering a response to the wolf.

"Alright," I whispered, then tightened my grip on his soft brown fur.

The wolf started to run off, like we were running for our dearest life against the bear that was still chasing us.