Sadqay Tumhare (For Your sake)

Four.

Aaina

As humans, we always dream of different things. We dream of things that are out of our reach, we dream of things that others have and we don't.

We dream of everything that's dear to us, everything that feels too far away, everything that can't be made our reality.

But reality is different. Reality is the realization that life isn't what you want it to be, that life isn't what you dreamt it of being.

The boy who dreams of big cars gets stuck with a bicycle, the girl who dreams of a rich guy falls in love with a poor one and I?

What did I dream about? Freedom. I dreamt about freedom..

The girl who dreams about freedom gets caged into a political marriage.

I munched on my popcorn as I laid across the bed, my mood completely off, just like it had been since the past few days.

I would feel it all sometimes, I would cry, I had probably cried more than I ever had in my entire life, only because I was scared of a man I would soon be calling my husband.

But tonight? I refused to even feel the heat of his words.

"So what are they saying about me?" I questioned my sister who had her own laptop spread out on her lap.

She scrolled through various news sites and channels, reading their reviews of me.

"Well, for starters, Tribune says that you are the perfect match to him."

I rolled my eyes. Ofcourse. People at tribune were dumb. I motioned for her to continue and she started to speak again.

"Express says that it's a political alliance that's gonna come down in shambles."

"Geo is still pretty much surprised at what the hell is going on. You know, since he was supposed to marry that General's daughter."

That one was true. I hadn't really known about it, not until my mother had told me so.

Apparently, there were plans of him and Minal Ashfaq getting married by the end of this year. But the Prime Minister suddenly changed his mind.

"ARY is literally putting hearts around both of your images."

She added again, I shrugged.

"What else?"

"According to the social media, you are beautiful but simple and there is no way in hell that you are his choice."

I laughed. Ofcourse I wasn't his choice. His choice would have been someone cold and arrogant like him. Not someone like me.

"People are not stupid." I remarked.

"There is this one article that does capture everything that happened, I mean this man is so observant that he actually wrote about your body language at the engagement. He says that you look absolutely scared and out of your wits, something that nobody has written."

My eyes rose at these words and I actually opened up the article to see what else this man had written.

Political alliance or love marriage..

Love doesn't seem to be around..

Is it money they married for..

What's love in the world of power..

She looks like she's going to faint..

Out of her wits..

Pale face..

"It's true." I mumbled as I rummaged through the whole article.

Everything the man had written was nothing but the truth. My sister chuckled at my reaction.

"I know, but people of his party are cursing him and his article so much, this perfect image that they have, it's crazy."

"I can never understand why people choose to believe a political leader asking for votes, I mean, at the end of the day, they just want power." I said back.

"Yes, but aapi, I think there are lot of good people in politics as well. As much as I grumble about the Prime Minister, he has done a pretty fine job."

I knew that the current PM was far better than any of the previous Prime Ministers, but it didn't change the fact that he was actually using a relationship as pure as marriage to gain power again.

So was he a good man or was he a power greedy person? I didn't know.

"Since when are you interested in politics?" I shot back at my sister. She laughed.

"I wasn't but this cute guy in school is so informed, the whole class debates and I don't want to sound dumb."

I wished that I had paid attention to cute guys in university too, I wish I had taken them up on their offers, I wish I had gone out on dates with them, I wish I had lived a little freely.

I remained quiet as my sister took out a few clothes from my closet.

"So shopping?"

I shook my head.

Even though mother had advised us to use this time to go out and shop for whatever clothes I needed, I didn't want to go out of the house.

People knew me, they knew who I was. I didn't want to go out, knowing that people might snap pictures of me.

I wanted to know what they thought of me but at the same time I wanted to pretend like nothing had changed.

"I ordered everything online." I told her instead.

Her eyes widened and a frown graced her innocent face.

"What?"

"Why did you do that? I thought we will go out, have some dinner, shop."

She said out loud, voice coming out angry.

"If we go out, we will have to take those two gunned men with us. And people recognise me, I have basically been on every media channel there is since the past three days, I am not going out." I informed.

Her anger faded away but her face was still set in a frown.

"So you are going to hide? How long are you going to hide?"

As long as I can. I want to hide because I know that soon I'll be a show piece in front of the whole country and I wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

"Don't know. Don't care." I muttered, going back to watching the show on my laptop.

"Sahi hai, lait jao phir see, dekho apna Jon Snow. Main pagal Hoon (Okay, lie down again, watch your Jon snow, I'm the stupid one) I should have gone with the family."

"You chose to stay."

I reminded her but out of courtesy, I put my laptop away and sat straight on the bed.

"Because I thought you were going to break down and I would be here to help you." She shot back at me.

My mood, that had been numb but normal, suddenly turned sour.

I had cried alot on the night of my engagement, I had cried alot on the second night too but on the third night, I didn't have the energy to cry again.

"I think my tears have dried." I stated.

"Was he really horrible to you?"

She asked again, as If I hadn't repeated myself to her and mother over and over again.

"I told you have he gave this bloody lecture, lessons as he likes to call them. So I complained about it to ammi and abbu. Abbu talked to him, apparently he asked him to be less rude with me and at that time he agreed."

I rambled.

"Next thing I know, after the engagement, leans down and gives me another lesson."

"Don't snitch on me again. I won't tolerate it."

I mocked his tone or tried to atleast. But my sister didn't really laugh at it, instead she frowned even further. I could see her frustration, understand it too.

"I get it. He is a man, he has authority, he's probably a male chauvinist. Maybe he was brought up that way, just like I was brought up with thought that I had to marry whenever my father wanted me to." I started off.

"That's okay. You know, whatever. But saying that I wont tolerate it, what the hell."

I stood up from the bed and walked up to my sister who was now standing beside the window.

"He is going to be my husband, it's a fact. I will give him respect and whatever it is that wives do, but I want respect in return."

Was that too much to ask for? Respect?

"As if you can do anything, as if mother could do anything." She grumbled at me.

It was true, mother and father were not the best couple. Father was too controlling and mother was too compromising.

"We all know that father isn't the best husband, all those years and now he actually talks to her like a normal person. I still can't forget the way he used to insult her." She reminded me of the things I needed no reminder of.

"Yeah." I whispered.

"And mother belonged to just a family like ours, it wasn't like mother was from a poor background or she had sacrifice or something." Saira's words were slowly putting a fear in my heart.

A fear that had been rising ever since I was informed of my marriage. Fear that my life was going to be just like my mother's.

" It was built in her. That she had to make all the compromises, that she had to suffer, when she was not coming back to that house." She stated.

I nodded.

"She did the same to me, she taught me what her mother taught her." I added.

"You can always run."

She suggested. I laughed. As if that was an option and even if it was, I would never do that.

"Can I? Can I run from a marriage to the Prime Minister's son? Don't be stupid." I said aggressively, walking back to the bed and sitting on it yet again.

She smiled lazily at me.

"Okay, maybe he's not so bad. Maybe he's just screwing with you." I almost snorted.

"His cold eyes scream the opposite."

"What if he was in love with someone and he got forced to marry you? Maybe that's why he's rude."

My sister was big on television dramas, whether they were Indian or Pakistani, she loved watching them.

"This is not a drama."

I argued.

"It's still a chance that this is true. I mean maybe he loved that General's daughter."

"Not a chance, he would have been in some pain if that was the case. He was just cold."

His cold brown eyes weren't easy ro forget.

"Aapi. Aaj date bhi decide ho jayegi. Ap ko darr lag raha hoga na?" (The wedding date will be decided today. Are you not feeling scared?)

She asked me if I was scared.

"I'd be stupid if I acted like I was not scared."

It was scary. The thought of leaving your own house to go live with someone strange, the thought of changing yourself for them, the thought of not being good enough for them, and in my case, the thought of being hated by the one person who should never hate you.

Saira was about to answer me but her eyes glanced at the window and she looked at me.

"They're home."

She announced. Both of us stood up and walked downstairs.

Our mother had a shawl wrapped around her since the season was getting cold. She looked at us with a confused stare.

"You didn't go?" She questioned. I shook my head.

"No. I wasn't feeling too well." I replied.

I was genuinely nervous. What date had they chosen for me? When was I getting married? Were their atleast months to go for it? Was it too soon?

"Ammi, tell us!! What's the plan? What did you guys talk about?"

Before my mother could say anything, my father entered the living room, eyes still staring at his phone.

Without even looking up, he asked for me.

"Call Aaina."

"I'm here, abbu." His eyes scanned me and he nodded, putting away his phone and pointing at me.

"Sit."

I sat.

"Prime Minister Sahab wants the wedding to take place as soon as possible."

Fuck the Prime Minister. f**k his son and f**k everyone who thinks this is okay.

I covered up my anger with my nerves.

"Abbu.." I trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"Listen to me. Zaydaan has to go to his last foreign tour before the care taker government takes over. They want the marriage to happen before that."

He informed. Before I could say a word, my sister jumped in.

"But that's just stupid!" She argued. Father looked at her like he was going to burn her or something, his gaze filled with anger.

"Saira!" He exclaimed. She bit her lip and remained quiet.

Father returned his gaze to me.

"I told them that you were scared, that Zaydaan had not been the nicest. I didn't want to, but your mother told me what happened at the engagement day and I couldn't help it."

"Oh.."

I didn't know whether I should have felt relief or fear as father told me what had happened. I didn't want to hear another lesson.

"Idrees Sahab assured me that nothing of that sort will happen again, that we shouldn't worry." He said again.

I felt a little better though, about my father atleast. He cared enough.

"He said that he'll talk to his son." Ammi added, holding my shoulder in comfort. I gulped.

"I don't want you to disappoint me, Aaina. This marriage is very important and I have done more than what you asked of me."

I had nothing to argue that with, I could but I couldn't.

"Jee, abbu." I mumbled. He cleared his throat.

"I don't want to hear any other issue."

"They asked me if the wedding could take place by the end of this month, I want to give you the courtesy of choosing your wedding date."

My eyes widened. End of this month? What the hell? That was just twenty two days. This was not happening. Oh no, no, no.

"Abbu, it is too early, please." I pleaded.

He shrugged.

"Why don't you go upstairs and think about it? Tell me in the morning."

As if you were going to accept whatever date I gave to you. He was just manipulating me. I understood that too well.

"Okay.."

I walked back upstairs to my room, the level of my energy almost shattered. I was barely on the bed when my cell phone started to vibrate.

I picked it up without even looking at the call I'd.

"Hello?"

That damn voice.