LOVING YOU BENEATH THE SURFACE

DREAM ON

KATE’S POV

That morning, I threw on my lemon jacket over my black pants and went to pick out the latest black handbag I had just bought in the last collection. Checking to see that I was perfect enough in the mirror, I fished out my phone to text Chris that I was on my way. He had left for the hotel very early in the morning and he told me that he had to resume as soon as possible.

I arrived at Jean’s residence right on time, and I was ushered in by her aide who had been waiting for me outside.

“Good morning ma’am. You are welcome” he greeted, as soon as I stepped out of my car.

“Thank you, Mr. Waltz. It’s a pleasure”, I responded softly, returning his warm smile.

“Shall we go? Jean is waiting inside” he told me, ushering me in with his right hand, and I followed.

Her residence was not as big as I had pictured. It was just a normal building filled with aesthetic antiques ranging from the decorations to the furniture and they were pleasing to look at. We turned right at the end of the short corridor and entered a room that was larger than it looked.

Everywhere was filled with mannequins and all the equipment a fashion designer could ever need. My mouth parted to release an unintentional gasp as I stared around in awe. She arranged everything neatly and her work table was in the middle of the room.

I didn’t know when I spat out a “Wow” as I walked deeper into the room.

The room itself was a work of art and the house’s ambiance felt like I was walking through history.

“Judging from your expression, I can see that you like this workroom” she suddenly remarked from the end of the room and I jumped in surprise

I didn’t know that she had been looking at me all this while beside the huge curtain because I was carried away by the view.

“Ehhmmm…. That is because it is so wholesome and great. I cannot take my eyes off it. It wouldn’t be bad to live here all the days of my life” I said honestly and, a series of claps came from her.

“Waltz! I was sure that I made the right decision, and she’s confirming that once again”, she said, and took her seat before motioning to me to have mine.

“Thank you for the consideration” I said and she waved it off.

She went silent for close to a minute after Mr. Waltz left the room and the awkward silence added to my tension. We kept staring at each other and I was wondering what her silence was all about when she linked her fingers together and placed them under her chin for a rest.

Breaking the silence, she whispered “Should I let you in on a secret?”

Since I didn’t know if yes or no would be the appropriate answer, I just nodded my head slowly and waited for the next reply. I was still waiting when Mr. Waltz came in with a tray containing two cups to serve us coffee.

“I didn’t think about it before I proposed the position to you. It was a decision I made, immediately I saw your work for the first time”, she revealed, and my eyes bulged in shock.

“Really?” I blurted out abruptly before my hands flew to my mouth.

She nodded with a smile and continued. “The very first time I saw your sketch, I saw myself in it. All of your drawings and details reflected me and when you called me your mentor, I knew that you were not lying. The strokes of your pen, the paintings and shading, everything was just the way I wanted it”

She was praising my work greatly and my heart leaped for joy because I didn’t know that she thought of my work this much. I couldn’t stop grinning at the compliment, but the smile faded when I remembered how she turned me down at our first encounter in New Zealand five years ago.

Since I couldn’t stand the curiosity, I proceeded to ask. “Firstly, I want to appreciate you for thinking of my work this way and also considering me for this position but something baffles me. Is it okay to ask ma’am?”

Stretching her arms forth with open palms, she said “Go ahead sweetie, you are free to ask me anything of course.”

“If you loved my work so much, why did you turn me down in the first place? You gave me the excuse that my work doesn’t match with yours and directed me to Anthony instead”, I poured out

Silence followed as she grabbed her cup and took a sip. A deep sigh followed before she finally responded.

“Yes, I was delighted in your work from the first time I saw them, but it felt like you were in my shadow. There was too much of Jean in Kate’s work and that was very wrong. As a designer, you have to mark out your own territory, give it your special touch while carving out your own signature on it” she explained. A pause followed and she took another sip of her coffee.

“That was exactly why I linked you with Anthony. Anthony knows how to carve an artist to reflect their own style and expression without losing themselves and I wanted him to do that for you. I was happy you didn’t turn down the offer and the next time I saw your work two years ago, I saw an improvement. I saw Kate, the better version of Jean. I had disappeared and you were obvious, I became the person in your shadow instead of you in mine”, she finalized and by the time she was done, I was already a crying mess.

I didn’t know all that and felt dejected about how she turned me down, but then it was all for the best because I worked my ass off to upgrade myself after her rejection. Perhaps I might have improved on my own before I met Anthony in Las Vegas. Anthony was a cool boss I would never ever forget. Despite the fact that he was vast in both knowledge of manual and computer design, he didn’t boast about it or never oppressed my limitations.

“It’s okay to ask if you don’t know it or get confused. I am always here to help” he would remind me every time.

Given the fact that I was passionate about learning and honing my skills, I pushed aside the shame and milked Anthony for all the knowledge I wanted and he readily gave it to me.

“Oh sweetie! I didn’t tell you this to make you emotional. It’s okay, you will ruin your beautiful mascara” she consoled me with a slight chuckle and that made me laugh too.

I cleaned up my face as she set in front of me her first sketchbook she used as a designer.

“Nobody is ever good from the start, but we always strive to work on ourselves continuously to become a tinnier better than yesterday” she comforted me, and I nodded in agreement.

We both chatted as I flipped through her sketchbook and saw several awesome drawings that were the fashion of those times. They were neatly drawn, and each style was unique. Everything about them screamed perfection, and it was hard to believe that it was her first sketchbook because mine was way messier.

“They are all so perfect”, I complimented her and finally realized that she hadn’t become this huge for nothing. She was a natural designer, a born talent.

“So, if I may ask, why did you agree to take on this job? You have run from my offer for a year”, she questioned.

Closing the last page of the book, I responded with a smile as I raised my head to look at her.

“Someone once told me that if I keep doubting myself, I will never be satisfied or achieve my dreams that I hold dear. It’s okay to make mistakes, I can just try again. Who cares if I didn’t get it right at the first trial? There’s a room for adjustment, so there’s no need to be hard on myself. Those words hit me deep in the heart and I didn’t know when my fears evaporated, and I made the firm decision to take it up. It was what I wanted, and the challenge I want to take on. Honestly, I still don’t know how I will perform in the position, but I can just follow my heart and learn more”, I explained truthfully.

A humming sound dragged in her throat after my response, and she burst into a smile. “Whoever told you that surely knows you more than you can ever imagine. They know your strength and capacity, so hold them dear and near. You will need them from time to time” she advised.

Her words made me smile because she was right about me needing Chris from time to time. He had been a pillar of immeasurable support even since we were together and no one needed to tell me that he is someone I have to hold dear and near.

“I will do that”, I assured her, and we moved on to talk about the company itself.

I was so engrossed in the chat that we lost track of time. I didn’t miss out on the opportunity to record everything we discussed, so I could go through them over and over. She shared her struggles, up and down moments, encounters and connections, decisions she took that failed and worked, experiences, motivations and personal life.

I didn’t know when I muttered “Wow! We are so alike” because I could relate to most of the things she said.

We closed the meeting by fixing a date to meet the important people at the company before the formal signing of the contract and inauguration. She offered me dinner, but I told her that I had one scheduled, so we decided to fix another day.

I hummed happily as I drove to the hotel to meet Chris since the location was nearby. I didn’t know why he shouted “Babe” so loud and ran to meet me in order to link hands with me at first, but when I saw the woman behind him, I was quick to catch up.

“Someone wants my property?” I joked as we went outside.

“She can only dream,” he replied firmly, and I laughed at his seriousness.