This is my first time going to a professional basketball arena, which means my first time seeing my brother play physically. I could remember I had fallen ill during his first game on the team and I had to stay home with mom, while dad represents us. And ever since then, I had been occupied with impending activities, and fear of the public when I have to do it on my own without Chloe. So I skipped all the chances with excuses my parents had always supported, even when they knew I was withdrawing from people's sight. If I knew the experiences were rainbow-like, I wouldn't have missed them intentionally.
I had had a good time in the backstage hallway, discussing with Myles a lot of things while his teammates were getting ready. We leaned against opposite walls facing each other while he explained to me how staying in the perfect physical condition is basically a full-time job in his career, after I asked him why he always has to go for training. He also said he liked it I came with them. And when I remind him of the time as it was almost seven, he chuckled bashfully and confessed that he always lost track of time around me.
On my way to the arena, while I am feeling precisely on top of the world, I come across a free table of food, probably for the crew and the teams. I got myself some loaded nachos and soda before I trickle down the staircase to the courtside section, where Myles told Nelson to save me a seat.
While my eyes search into the crowd, they find David waving over and I conveniently make my way to him. The view is perfect. The place has banners and excited fans, but what I didn't expect to see here is Autumn and her mother.
"Cali." she pretentiously purred, bluntly scanning me from head to toe through her added eyelashes, while I am sure all those Gucci products on her are rented. b***h. "I didn't expect to see you here." Snootily, she commented, and I learn I will sit next to them for the next few hours, which I'm sure will be hell.
"As do I when I saw you." I smile as pretentious as she would and settle down before the players arrive through the tunnel and I spot my favorite two.
Myles is tall and huge, yet the smallest among the team because he is number one. He looks good and tough at the same time in the jersey that fitted him well, having me think of getting a pair for myself when the game is over.
While I am on my feet hailing my brother and Myles, I hear Autumn telling her mother who I am here for.
"I never knew Brayden has a sister." The mother at first said, and I flash her a quick smile, then she affronts. "She's okay."
I am okay. Really?
Says the old woman, encouraging her daughter to marry the man she just met some weeks ago.
I sit back in my seat when the teams take their positions on the court and the chanting settles down.
"Your mother is nice," I told Autumn, and she almost choke while the mother flushes.
What did I say?
How I sounded was intendedly discourteous, I admit to that, but somehow it was a remark. She called me okay. And they didn't see me choking and assembling my jaws from the floor. Why bark if you don't know how to bite?
"She's Jeffrey's wife," Autumn acquainted and my eyes blow out.
"Like that Jeffery?" I beckon over to the Jeffery I know, who's flexible and young and now handling the ball so far.
Both women respond simultaneously, "Uh umm." They seem determined as they stare at me until I am unease.
Okay, now that's screwed up.
"How would I know? I mean, you look somehow old," I grumbled, trying to put an age on Jeffery, who probably is in his late twenties. The angered woman's brows rise at me. Now it's getting even more intimidating.
"I am forty." The woman spelled out, impatiently, that she might explode.
But that's old, given she's my mom's age. And Jeffery's only in his twenties.
"Elderly then," I mumbled fearfully, and Autumn's mouth falls open.
"Can you do me a favor and never speak again?" The angered woman asked while taking calming breaths.
"Okay?" I don't understand why she's overreacting. She's older than me. How does she expect me to address her? My classmate?
I heard her mumble something that sounded like, "Rude." but I remain focused on the game, as Brayden's opposing team is leading with two points.
The game continues while I am being excluded from the women's conversations. However, I cheer when the team scores and applaud them when I know they can do better, and also shove some nachos into my mouth along the way. Nelson had flashed a smile in my direction, but that was the one time we communicate since we meet in Florida. It seems to me he doesn't like me. For I know politeness when I see one. And I think David and the teammates are nicer.
When Myles scores earning a point ahead of the opponents, I jump at once, celebrating with everyone, and I heard Autumn rise next to me, doing the same.
She had to do that after me. It's sickening.
Myles is rejoicing with the coach when his smiling eyes spot me, and he smiles so endearingly that I feel myself melting like butter at his charm.
"I love you too, baby." Autumn howled, deafening me for the silver of seconds.
My eyes drag over to her as she is jumping like a child when I am sure Myles isn't smiling at her, not unless I am being fooled.
Suddenly, I am absorbed in the troubling thought. I came to be vulnerable. I couldn't celebrate the wins that continued. And immediately it was halftime. I scoot away from the giggles.
Autumn shouted over her voice, arrogantly asking me to come back with two cups of smoothie.
"Any kind except for peach." She yelled.
Bitch. Get help.
Different emotions had blurred my vision. I am furious, sad, and furious again.
I didn't care; I storm into the locker room, and holy cow, naked asses.
"What the f**k?" Someone cursed, but I am severely inflamed to care. I continue down the lockers until I find the asshole.
He is shirtless; he has his back to me and his front to Vincent.
He is drinking something from a bottle, unaware I am approaching until I call his name.
"Cali?" He gasped when he promptly turn over, then wander his eyes around the room. He must be afraid of what I might say. "What are you doing here?" He confusedly queried, controlling the volume of his voice.
Ignoring him, I questioned heatedly instead. "Why is Autumn here?"
"Let's go." He urged, reaching for my arm, but I swat his hands away from me. He blows out an exasperated breath and runs his hand through his hair before he whispers my name like a warning through his teeth.
There is no way I would budge. He has to tell me why he invited her after all the signals he had been giving me since last night.
"Tell me?" I insisted. Fury in my eyes and drawback in his. A muscle in his jaw twitches.
He lean over until there is barely an inch between our faces, dark eyes radiating fierce irritation, when he punctured acid in my tightening heart with the honest response, "She is my fiance."
Maybe no one heard, but I did loudly enough. It repeats in my head until I am entirely powerless. What I heard afterward is the sound of my heart detaching from my chest and hiding at the wall of my back.
The tears made my lid heavy, so I didn't blink. I hold his stare rather. My legs were weak. I could fall, but I pray I don't. Nonetheless, they let me down. Scratch that, it wasn't their fault. I am snatched up by my brother over his shoulder and carried out of the room.
"Get me down." I wiggled, but he didn't do as I ask until we were at a quiet angle.
"Why would you prance into naked men's room? Are you that crazy?" He shouted, and every horror returned to my head.
I froze and was pulled back to new year's eve. When their voices were loud and terrifying, their screams had me stiffen in my stance and the disgust they held in their tone as they called me insane. It was a void of hell. I can't crawl out.
And they all were right. I am crazy.
"I am telling mom about this. I would not tolerate this s**t here." He continued to ramble until someone called after him.
"Stay here. There is a lounging area by the corner. I am not done with you." He angrily published, and race back to the locker room while I was still stuck in the horrible trance.
A few moments later, I snap out of the shock at the chanting from outside, signifying the game has resumed. My legs are frail but I drag them to the food area and ordered two cups of orange creamsicle protein shake, with double peach.
She wants an assistant? I can be one. For whatever reason she excluded peach, we will find out tonight.
When the smoothies were ready and were handed over to me by a young man. I thank him politely and wipe any hint of tears away before returning to the game. Only I do not have the intention of watching the game anymore.
Autumn catches sight of me the moment I return, and she heaves a relieved sigh. With a brief sealed smile, she snatches the smoothies and forgets to say thank you.
My eyes flicker to the court. Myles has the ball and is watching me until the ball is stolen away from him. David cusses and yells at him to concentrate. Mike follows the ball, while Myles is hesitant to move his legs. It is my cue; I turn away and exit the game.
I need air to breathe. And in here, not only are the noises and the chaos of footsteps getting under my skin, but certain people have gotten to me. It is smothering. Breathing is hard.
~
Night walks had been my escape, and right now, the streets are quiet like they used to be back at home every day around this time. I will stroll and inhale the fresh air, and feel the wind against my skin, while I thought of Chloe and how she wasn't remembered accurately and earnestly as she deserves.
I feel like if she is here, she would say "f**k it." and make me think of all the good things I am yet to experience. But the tragic part that confuses me is that she also worshiped Myles Cameron. It's a shame he wasn't the angel she portrayed him as, and I am glad she didn't have to know. It could've murdered every idea of happily ever after for her. She was a hopeful girl who thought we might have a good life in college and every day after that.
The hotel was busy when I return to its shelter. The nachos I had were enough. I didn't need dinner, I only need a bed. But when I reach the room that is mine while I am there, I scampered to my box and toss out everything until I find the diary at the very end.
My knees decline until my whole body is down. I snuggle on the carpet and begin writing every bit of what happened today. The good and the bad.
Just earlier today, I thought I have the world in my palm and everything in control. Myles brought lunch to my doorstep and stroked my face with the back of his fingers. He asked me if I will be free at midnight, that we could have dinner like yesterday, and I felt warm in my stomach, but all that is gone in a span of a half-game because he is a liar and a player who is entertained by others' sorrow.