She's An Animal

We live in a world of acceptance. We enjoy telling ourselves that we get what we deserve. As we grow we learn that maybe it can be true or it can be completely false. It all fits in the manner you learn to see the world. Growing up in a military base isn't easy for a wolf. We crave the earth, the trees, the wilderness. It's who and what we are. The beast in us craves more than what the skin side does. "Edith it's time for your dosage," Cassian my adoptive Succubus mother addressed me walking into the cafeteria. My sister Samaritan glared at me as I stood up. Not exactly sure how our story began or how we ended up here. The two of us are twins. It's not a lie I can feel her inside of me. Whatever connects us is there. What's strange is that neither one of us look like each other. Where she had pitch black hair I have ash blonde. Her eyes dark brown while mine are honey gold. She's a lot shorter than I am. A little more feminine too. She doesn't like that I accepted to get the wolf enhancement. She wants me to stop the treatment. I can't. Not with what our world is built of. Wolves are animals brute creatures and are extremely dangerous. Even more, because we aren't loners. We like to travel in packs. The power that comes with the enhancement is dangerous. I've always known that but I've come to need. From that very first time, it's all I can think about. It reformed all that am into so my much more. There are times when I resent it. When the emotions leak in and I start to feel a little less wolf and a little more skin. I lied back against the cold restraint table. Cassian began to adjust the metal bindings to strap me in. The wolf in me already raging inside of me as if it were begging for me not to do this again. I always took pity on the feel of her pleas that raged in me. The one thing that keeps me in place is Sam. From that very first dose. She's what I think about when I'm clamped down to a metal table preventing me from moving. If I didn't do this voluntarily they would force me or worse they would force her. That one thought keeps my wolf calm enough to Cassian to prepared the eleven-ounce syringe gun with the gold glowing liquid inside of it. This procedure is done once a week. I am tied down, injected, and then taken to my room where I wake up within the next four hours with all of my wolf senses amplified. Stronger than an alpha, stronger than a vampire aristocrat, strong enough to take on a hybrid like Cassian one of the original princess of Darkness. My heart starts to race as she comes at me with the gun. For a moment we forget why we're here. My wolf wants out. She wants to get away. I keep my emotions on lock as best as I can. A clear betrayal of fear is the heavy breathing that takes over. I definitely need this dose. It's all coming back and it's flooding in fast. She took an alcohol pad wiping the skin on the center my forearm. I took a deep breath as the thick needle pierced the skin and she began to pull the trigger. I shut my eyes to fight the urge to cry out with all my might. The cold liquid courses through my body never getting warm. As the enhancement targeted my wolf's genes my body begins to shake uncontrollably. I clenched my fists and tightened my eyes fighting the urge to shift. Cold. Everything becomes cold. My blood, my skin, my muscles, my very soul freezes over as this thing relentlessly takes over my body. Then it starts to settle. It doesn't get warm. Warmth isn't part of this. All of my fear subsides as the formula takes its course. The panic fades away almost as quickly as it flooded it in. My body begins to relax as the anger of my wolf takes over as her strength becomes mine, her sight, all of her senses. The senses I couldn't utilize unless I was in wolf form all surfaces without me shifting. Those lingering feelings of regret and resentment all evaporate. The look Sam had given me before I walked in here doesn't matter anymore. None of it matters anymore. All there is left is the rage of a wolf that craves nothing more than be released to be who she is. Edith, we're in heat. Her dark ominous voice growled in my head. I'll take care of it as soon as we wake up. I promised as I let my body relax and shut down so that we can rest for a bit. The restraints come off and my body is lifted off the metal table and moved over to a wheelchair. My head falls forward hanging without me being able to pick it up. I am taken to my room and set on the bed. No one covers me. No one says a word to me. They barely glance over at me as they walk out of the room. It's a routine now. Sam used to come in here and argue with Cassian. Isaac did the same a few times. They all used to care. I used to care. This was very confusing in the beginning but then came the reality of it all. This is the escape from the looks of pity I receive. I couldn't even look them in eyes before. This wasn't about the power then. This was about having no choice. Somewhere along the way, all of it got lost in transition. The power this grants become an addiction. Takes control of the weaknesses the skin brings. The small pleasures and needs no longer apply to this vessel. It's cold now. Better.