Untitled Episode

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CHAPTER 4 My phone vibrated on the kitchen counter as I was in my flat with the sun bathing the space in a warm warmth. Lydia's name flashed before my eyes as I quickly turned to the television. I hesitated before walking away and ignoring the call while my heart pounded. She slammed the door hard and yelled, "Natasha, open the door!" I sighed and grudgingly answered the door, bracing myself for the argument I knew was going to happen. What the hell is going on, Natasha? Lydia barged into my flat while glaring into her grey eyes. You're resigning? You must be crazy, right? I said, trying to keep my cool, "Lydia, it's my decision." I don't need you to understand. She scoffed, tossed her blonde, wavy hair over her shoulder, and said, "Understand?" Do you think I care? You're embarrassed because you slept with Roman, why?" "Keep your voice down," I muttered, fearfully peering out the window. "There's more to it, Lydia. It's about my honesty and self-esteem. After what happened, I can't stay at the company." "Integrity?" Lydia scowled. "Don't give me that nonsense. You're only avoiding your troubles like you always do. But go ahead and give up. It simply implies that I will have more opportunities." "Is that really what this is all about?" I inquired, a flash of rage washing over me. "Your jealousy and desire to get closer to Roman?" "Jealousy?" She gave a frigid laugh. "How could I be envious of you, Natasha?" You're the one who is jeopardizing your job because of a false sense of morality."Lydia, this is my life," I said, my voice cracking. "I have to live according to my values, not yours." "Fine," she spits, her pupils constricted. "If you want, you can throw it all away." Just don't come running back to me when you realize you've made a terrible mistake." Lydia stormed out of my flat, slamming the door shut behind her. My body trembled as I slumped onto the couch, tears threatening to pour once more. "Get a grip, Natasha," I said to myself, wiping away tears. "You chose. You have to accept it now." I knew I had no other way to get money to fend for my sick mother and myself but I can't just stand Roman after what happened. ****** Roman's POV My hair was ruffled by the wind as I stood on the balcony of my penthouse and looked out at the city below. I couldn't help but question if it was possible to free myself from the tangled web of deceit and lies that had become my existence. One word from behind me, "Boss," brought me back to the present. It was Alexei, one of the Mafia thugs I could always count on. I greeted him formally with "Alexei," keeping my gaze fixed on the cityscape in front of me. The question "What is it?" He remarked in his usual professional manner, "Everything's ready for the shipment tonight." However, there is still another issue. Say, "Spit it out, then." He watched and said, "Natasha Ivankova resigned from her job today." I clenched my teeth to keep myself from expressing any emotion as my heart squeezed at the sound of her name. The question "What does that have to do with me?" Even though my questions were anything but neutral, I asked them coolly. He stumbled over his words, "Lydia mentioned she might have seen you with Natasha the other night." You should know, I thought. I gave a curt, "Thank you, Alexei," response as my thoughts concerning Natasha were racing. I couldn't help but feel as though I had contributed in some way to her resignation because of the vivid memory of our night together that still lingered in my thoughts. "Boss, how are you doing?" Inquiring gently, Alexei could tell that I was uneasy. Despite my best efforts to contain my annoyance, I snarled, "Of course." "Please go away now." He mumbled, "Understood," and then swiftly retreated inside the penthouse. Even though I wanted to put Natasha out of my mind and concentrate on my work, I couldn't help but sense a growing attraction to her. My entire life had been devoted to erecting barriers around my heart as a means of defence against anything that would render me frail or exposed. Nevertheless, Natasha was able to overcome all of my defences in a single evening, leaving me feeling more exposed than ever. I sighed, "Damn it," and my hands clenched into fists at my sides. "How did she do this to me?" you might be asking. I was aware that I couldn't allow my feelings to rule my actions. I had obligations and duties as the leader of a formidable Mafia family that must not be jeopardized by sentimental relationships. However, I couldn't deny the pain in my chest I felt at the notion of never seeing Natasha again. Get a hold of yourself, Roman! You can't do this to the Mafians. I forced my breathing to slow and my mind to concentrate on the work at hand. She isn't worth risking everything you've worked so hard for, I told myself boldly. Even though I made an effort to hold back my emotions, the weight of my inner turmoil only seemed to get worse with each hour that went by. I had so many concerns and uncertainties that I began to wonder if there would ever be a way to reconcile my feelings with Natasha. I muttered to myself, "Love is a luxury you cannot afford," hoping that just saying it out loud would somehow make it real. I couldn't help but feel the emptiness inside of me getting greater and trying to swallow me whole as the sun dipped below the horizon and night settled over the city.
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