My Italian Heart

Chapter Twenty Four

The joy of Christmas felt like salt in my wounds. Everyone was walking around so happily while I tried to hide my own pain. That was the biggest issue with David and I hiding our relationship. I also had to hide its aftermath. Mamma was in the kitchen baking up a storm, and I knew she would be in there for the whole of Christmas Eve.

I always found it to be an odd day. It was important enough to have a name, yet no one seemed to take it very seriously. Well, except for Mamma who would be at midnight mass. She would drag Pops along too, but had long given up trying to convince the rest of us to attend.

The worst part of the few days that faced me was actually the lack of David. He had spoken to Em about an issue with his flat. One that I had no doubt was entirely fabricated purely to get himself out of the flat marked as my lover's. Em had instead put him up in one of the cabins. Luckily for me, he vacated the cabin before I arrived each morning.

Since that day when I had been messaging Adam, he seemed to be avoiding me as much as I was avoiding him. David and Emily had arranged to have their own family Christmas in the cabin and, as such, I would be the only single person at the dinner table. The last thing I wanted was to be surrounded by happy couples. Secretly, I hoped that Mamma would push Pops a little too far and he would snap and it would descend into an argument.

It was childish, but then that seemed to be a constant problem lately. It wouldn't happen, anyway. Pops had been much more docile recently. He seemed content to just do as he was told for the sake of an easy life and more time with his precious vines.

I had thought about slipping away to the office and hiding out for the entire holiday, but I knew I wouldn't get away with it. It wasn't like they didn't all know where to find me.

The only thing that seemed to be helping me get through the entire thing was Adam. He was so witty, charming and incredibly kind. I was warming to him bit by bit, day by day. I considered him a friend after our days of almost constant messaging back and forth. I knew he wanted more than that, but there just wasn't the fire that there was between David and I. I knew Adam was the easier choice, the safer choice and willed myself to feel some glimmer of a spark. I hoped when we met up later for a late Christmas lunch it would be there.

Adam was perfect for me. He was Catholic, had his own business, and was only a year older than myself. Not to mention that he was Italian and a local Italian at that. He had been raised in the same hills that I had and his family still lived there. Mamma would find him most acceptable.

He was so wickedly funny too, and a gentleman by all accounts. I had tried so hard to find something wrong with him, but I had come up empty. The only thing missing was that spark. I started getting dressed, no longer trying to dress to prove something to David. I was starting to give him less thought than I once had. Despite that, Adam asked me to dress down.

I loved the idea and happily slipped into an indigo pair of skinny jeans that were so comfortable they felt like a second skin. Deciding to grab my chunky knit jumper at the last minute. The temperature was no longer as warm as I liked it. Em loved it and said it was much closer to the weather she was used to. Unfortunately, no matter how long it stayed five degrees, I wouldn't get used to it. I laughed a little to myself as I put on my trusty winter boots that had lasted me a decade. Standing in the mirror as I plaited my hair down the side of my face. I looked unbelievably plain, but somehow I liked it.

"Morning beautiful, are you ready?" Adam was sitting at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me and leaned his head right back to look up at me. How he could consider me beautiful when he could only see me upside down from his vantage point, I had no idea.

"I can't wait for us to get going." He leaped to his feet like some sort of actor staring in a Shakespearean play. Giving me a little bow as he landed before holding out his hand to me and making me giggle. Everyone already knew I was heading out, so there was nothing stopping me from taking his hand and letting him lead me outside. His trusty work van was outside ready and waiting for us. I still found it a little remarkable that he didn't have a car for normal day-to-day activities.

"Right then, my fine lady. Your chariot awaits."

"I can't decide if this act is put on or just who you are."

"I must admit, I know not of what you speak." He winked at me and I couldn't help but erupt into giggles as he refused to let go of my hand until I was seated in the van. There were three seats in the front of the van and I waited for him to close the door before sliding over to the middle seat. "I don't think I have ever appreciated this bench seat more than right at this moment."

"Are you going to tell me where we are going?"

"Absolutely not. it's top secret." He tapped the side of his nose as he spoke and I giggled again. I couldn't seem to stop. He was constantly making me laugh, so much so I could feel the slight ache of it in my stomach as we set off.

There were two things I was certain about when it came to a day with Adam; it would be full of laughter and without pain. Part of me loved him for it. The way he made me feel safe. David had made me feel safe, but it had been deceptive. I had been safe from the world but in danger from the pain he could inflict. Adam wasn't the sort of man that made me feel safe from the world, but I knew I was safe from heartbreak with him.

The two men were so different. Adam was carefree and simple, David stern, serious and complex. Adam, despite having his own business, wasn't particularly driven. He had confessed that the only reason he started his joinery business was so that he could take as much or as little work as he liked. Not having to answer to a boss when he decided to go away for a long weekend, which apparently was common.

That was all he had told me about the day facing us. He was taking me to his favourite spot for a last minute getaway. He normally went for longer than a day, but he assured me it was worth the drive even for the day. "Don't worry. The second you see it, you will fall in love with it and be begging me to bring you back for a whole weekend."

"You are a bit sure of yourself. Not so much a kiss and you are already planning romantic weekends away."

"I never said romantic, although it could be. I don't normally take anyone with me, I prefer solitude."

"Hey, I can head back if you like?" I knew I would get a reaction, we seemed to always be striving to get a reaction out of each other. We enjoyed winding each other up. It was hard to keep a straight face as he quickly darted his eyes to mine, trying in vein to assess how serious I was being and if I was annoyed with him.

"I didn't mean it like that." He kept switching his eyes between me and the road and I just sat there staring out of the window. Trying to keep my face as stoic as possible. "Aurora, seriously. The truth is you are the first person I've wanted to take. It's somewhere for me that feels protected and I've never wanted to risk anyone knowing how important it is to me."

I turned to him, my gaze softening instantly. He had gotten too deep for me to keep up the pretence. "I understand that more than you can ever know. The need for a safe haven. I'm touched you want to share that with me." My hand found its way onto his thigh. Slowly kneading the inside of his muscles. I wanted him to understand how much his gesture meant to me, but I had no chance of finding the words.

He pulled up at the side of the road abruptly. His deep green eyes were staring into mine. I thought I was going to melt into him just as his hand slid its way into my hair at the base of my neck. He gripped my hair firmly, pulling me to him. The time it took for me to reach his lips must have been seconds, but it felt like a lifetime. He was rough, demanding but somehow still respectful. I wasn't sure how a man could still be a gentleman while stealing a kiss and tugging at my hair, but Adam managed it.

The tiniest ember seemed to be floating around my stomach, then his tongue slipped in-between my parted lips. Hot, hungry and full of suggestions. The movements of it trying to tame me and sending the flames inside me lapping to be let out.

When he pulled away, I seemed to be fighting to get my breath. The heat of him lingering on my plump, just kissed lips. As I touched a finger to them, I wondered how long it would last. How long would it be obvious to anyone that he had been there that he had claimed me so easily? His forehead dipped and rested against mine. "If we are going to ever get there, then you need to keep your hands to yourself. The second you touch me, I flash back to seeing you in all that lace and its enough to drive a man to insanity." I nodded. I wasn't entirely sure his confession would stop me though. If anything, it felt like a dare, as though he was daring me to push him and see how far I could before he would break.